Roommate problems...am I blowing this outta proportion?

Question

Okay, so there are some "little" things that really bug me. But all these little things start adding up to one big problem so I wanna tell you all the things my roommates do, and you tell me if I'm overreacting. Roommate A. never helps clean the bathroom and kitchen. He never pitches in for toilet paper and slams his door right next to my room even in the middle of the night. He has a girlfriend that comes over ALL THE TIME so I also have to share my living space with her. Roommate B. lets his dog up on MY couches when I don't even let my own dog up there. He leaves MY t.v. on that I generously donated to the living room. Eats my food and leaves his trash all throughout the house. At least the first roommate confines his trash to his stinky bedroom. Roommate C. is my ex. He's not so bad 'cause I can still tell him what to do but for example, he never makes up the bed. He also never has cleaned the bathroom and he too doesn't pitch in for household necessities. So whaddya think?

Answer 1

I had a similar roommate problem. I paid for EVERYTHING that we used in our kitchen- all the pots, pans, cutlery, mixing bowls, blenders, etc. My roommate would only half-wash them, not rinse them and then leave them to dry without ever putting them away. I repeatedly asked her to wash the dishes properly, and her actual response was, "This is the way my grandma does it."

One day I just moved EVERYTHING that I had paid for out of the kitchen. She threw a hissy-fit and told me I had no right to take the stuff away because she needed it to eat. I told her tough luck and that if she wasn't going to take care of my stuff I would no longer make it available for everyone's use. The other roomies got pissed off at her for causing me to take away all my stuff.

A few weeks later this girl spilled red wine all over the floor and didn't clean it up. I asked her to clean it up and she told me that if it bothered me, I should clean it up myself. I responded by taking one of my wine glasses from the kitchen and dropping it on her bedroom floor, causing glass to shatter all over the place. I then told her that if the glass bothered her, she should clean it up herself.

She moved out at the end of the month and the apartment was clean from that day forward!

So I suggest a three-pronged plan of attack:

1. Talk to your roommates about what bothers you. Try to make a plan. If that fails...

2. Make their lives difficult. In your case, I would suggest that you buy toilet paper but keep it in your room and bring it into the bathroom only when you use the toilet. It's a pain, but it's worth it when they realize nobody has bought any toilet paper! Also, cook a big dinner for your friends using ALL of their food (so that you have a good excuse to use it all up). They'll understand how it feels to think you have food in the fridge, open the door and realize it's all gone. If this fails...

3. Get violent / aggressive / rude and wait for them to leave!

Answer 2

You are four in an appartment? That is your problem. On top of it, you are the ONLY girl!!!!!

Listen, they are not going to change and you will mot change them. Either lay the rules down and if they don't follow, per example, you can
- Buy you own toilette paper and keep it in your room - along with the role of paper you are using currently.
- Sit them down and since there is 4 of you, assign each a week-end that you will clean the bathroom.
- I've also had a roommate that use to eat my food, so I put laxatives in mine... I know it sounds mean, but he never did it again.
- You can't expect people to act and do stuff the exact way you do them, however, when you all live together, some basic rules have to be followed and THIS is what you need to have a meeting about.

If you don't say anything, trust me, it will only get worst, before it gets better.

But my advice? Start looking for another place to live.

Answer 3

Poor you! Having to share your space with inconsiderate people.
You have to say no and stop being so nice. The nicest thing you can do for them is to teach them how to behave when sharing living space with others.
1. You guys need to set up the rotation system to get the common area cleaned.
2. Set up a common fund for food and entertainment (food, DVD rental) depends on how much you share the activities.
3. Tell B that you don't want dogs on YOUR couch.
4. Tell A not to slam doors at night!
4. If nothing works, you should find better roommates. this time make sure they are clean, sensitive and considerate people.

Good luck and be strong!

Answer 4

There's no question that you have some pretty inconsiderate roommates, but let me ask this question of you: exactly what are your expectations? You state that you can still tell the ex-boyfriend what to do, and that "he never makes up the bed." Why do you feel you have the RIGHT to tell them what to do? Why do you care what HIS bedroom looks like? Are you sure they are not acting out because you are trying to Mother Hen them to death?

No matter what, it sounds to me like this is a bad fit, and that you should find an alternative living situation. However, before you start living with another roommate, consider your own behavior, and make sure you match up expectations with any potential roomies. Good luck.

Answer 5

No, I don't think your blowing this out of proportion, as these things are all really annoying you, and little things do add up.

You might want to consider moving, or asking all of them to move (don't know whether it's your place, or what the deal is).

You do need to tell roommate A to please stop slamming his door.

You also need to get all of them to pitch in on buying things, or get them to reimburse you.

You can try to get the other dog owner to stop allowing his dog on the couches -- like getting them to clean, and not have the girlfriend over all the time, though, I'm not sure it will do any good. (You might suggest an adjustment to the rent, for the two people, if she's really there all the time, that is, if she sleeps over often, and is, in effect, living there.)

But the best thing to do is to try to find more compatible roommates, who share your level of cleanliness, and you can agree with on whether to share food.

People just can't change other people.

Answer 6

How about calling a meeting. You can supply the pizza (a nice gesture that may enhance everyone showing up) and tell them it is about rent. Make up a chore chart listing all "community" chores and expenses. Explain what will be changing, be sure to be non accusatory, just matter of fact. Then evenly divide up everything on the chart. If they don't do their share, list the cost of a maid service and how much their portion of the cost will be..then do it.

Answer 7

roommates often don't work out unless they are very alike you. some free has no value...like the couch to them. you think if they spilled something on it they would pay to have it cleaned?...or fix the TV if it broke?...probably not. if this is YOUR space then i would suggest setting some rules and if they be not followed then kick them out. if it is NOT YOUR space then move. pack up and leave! go get your own place where you are responsible and clean and enjoy it.

Answer 8

1st kick them out!
2nd develop Roommate fine behaviour requirement list and strictly show and get signed with all of your new roommates.
3d if possible try to get some courses probably legal pratice course to get some good awareness senses. Sorry no offense just good realistic advice!

Answer 9

Yeah, imagine living with one man is bad enough...but you are living with THREE!? Well, this will definitely prepare you for marriage..when you choose just one, the apartment will be much less messy! It seems to me that all four of you have to sit down and make some compromises...Good Luck!

Answer 10

You shouldn't read this answer because it's really stupid. I think that none of that really matters since your moving tomorrow! Why post this question just now weirdo? I hope you don't plan on moving in with another group of guys in the A.V. cuz then I'll just have to call you "Gang-Bang Kelli"! ;-)