Is this a lie or not?

Question

My boyfriend and i are at odds over this. One day my boyfriend made me made because i asked him to come meet me at the hospital where my mom was in. He got all up tight about it because he didn't wanna go. When I came home that night, we were sittng on the front porch when i asked him how did your day go. he proceeded to tell me how it was. At the end of this conversation, he said "That's it, that's all i did today." Come to find out he did other things as well. Is it a lie by omission because he said that's all he did today? Or as he says it's not a lie? He says that just becuse he didn't mention doesn't mean he lied. He just "forgot" to tell me. So all please help me with this one.

So far it's a tie between it's a lie and it's not a lie. I felt like it was a lie and i still feel like it was a lie. It will honestly never be settled between us because he refuses to show that he even cares about how it made me feel. See my boyfriend went home, chilled, smoked some pot, and a grand old time relaxing after a hard day of work. My mother was in the hospital because she had two strokes and a heart attack. It was a very stressful time for my family and i. I felt like he should have wanted to be there to hold my hand, help me through this. When he called me, i asked him if he was coming to the hospital. He said he was on the bus going home. I got mad. Hell, yeah. It pissed me off. When i got home later that evening. We had our conversation. At the end, of all this i felt like he didn't wanna come to the hospital just so he could go home and smoke. My mother was already in the hospital, he knew that before he left for work that morning. I needed him. Maybe it's moot.

It still hurts even now because he still thinks that he didn't lie. I feel as though he isn't concerned at all with the way it made me feel. He doesn't even act remorseful. I have to admit that it hurt even more when my mom died a week later. I felt alone because the entire three weeks she was there, the majority of the time i was there without it him. He didn't have to be there for my mom, but he should have been for me.

Answer 1

not a lie at all ?

:> peace
.

Answer 2

In the long run, does it really matter that much? If you are looking for the guy to fail, you will find fault with him no matter what he does. If he did not want to meet you at the hospital,, or wherever, it should be left at that. It is up to him if he wants to go or not. The more you act like a control freak, the more he will want to lie, or not tell you stuff cause he will be afraid of your reaction. You are not his mom, you are his girlfriend.. act like one, and not a control freak intent on knowing where he is every second of the day.

The same goes the other way too.. if you don't want to do something.. don't.. it's a simple as that :)

Keep smiling, and keep the faith.
almo

Answer 3

You make him feel he has a lot of explaining to do. You make him do things he does not wish to do, then your mad if he does not do what you ask. He said thats it thats all, meaning, he does not want to have to explain everything he does in a day - are you cop? investigator? Its distrusting behavior towards him. If you badger too much with endless questions, and make him have to answer or give reason to his every comments, then make him feel there are secrets, like wow, . Your not giving him wiggle room (space). Its like whats that, hey, what, whats that you said, I thought you said you did only that all day, now i did find out you did something else. YOU lied! Wow pressure. Do you know why people lie? They are aftaid! Afraid to getting into bigger trouble if they tell the truth, or even utter what they did. To some people NO answer is ever good enough.

Answer 4

If you don't trust him overall - it's a lie. If you are angry and worried because your mom is in the hospital and this is the first fight, let it go. He may not have told you fun things he did out of respect for your mom's illness and the fact that you are tied to the hospital. He can't make her better. Don't sacrifice the relationship if it is all about him not wanting to come to the hospital.

Answer 5

The semantics don't matter. He didn't tell you something when you asked him, and depending on the nature of what he didn't tell you, make a judgement.

If he forgot to mention he went a brothel, I'd say that's pretty serious. If he forgot to mention he mowed the lawn, who cares? Clearly you being here suggests you felt it was serious, so whether or not it's a lie is moot. If it hurts/bothers/upsets you, you need to tell him that.

Answer 6

Personally I dont think its a lie, unless its something that is wrong. If he forgets to tell you, oh, I went to the grocery store too, I dont think he has anything to benifit from not telling you. I think that if you forget somthing thats exactly what happened. It might not be significant enough for him to really recall. I know my husband comes home from a day of work and on the weekends he is still a zombie. And forgets if someone even calls for me if I am gone.

Answer 7

No it is not a lie he just forgot. Sometimes we do not tell in detail what has transpired to us the whole day we sometimes omit things which we think are unimportant for us to say.. We just tell the major happenings.Don't be too nosey and too inquisitive. You seem not to trust him and boys don't like that and vice versa.And don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. Just let it pass and next time he knows what to do to please you if he loves you enough.

Answer 8

If you don't let this incident go, it will bother you forever...do you really want to go through life thinking about someone "not" wanting to visit your mother in the hospital?

Life is too short to keep bringing up every disappointment, so drop it now if you want to see this man again. If he didn't want to go, then don't worry, it is over already. If you hold it against him, you will never really show him that you love him, you will only be showing him your anger when he didn't give you "your way".

If you don't really like him, don't waste his time...or yours. But if you do want to spend time with him, stop trying to "catch" him in a lie. That is no way to show love. It just shows that you don't trust someone and want to catch them lying...how does that say "I love you"?

Answer 9

why does he have to tell you every single detail of what he did that day? Although I think he's a jerk for not wanting to be there to support you while your mom was in the hospital, I don't think its actually a lie unless it was something like went to eat lunch with another girlfriend or something.

Answer 10

Yes he lied. He mention specfic things about his day and stated thats all I did. On the other hand just a side comment. If he didnt want to go he evidently had something else in mind. Why did it matter what he did that or why he didnt go to see your mother.

Answer 11

depends how seriously he said he forgot. sometimes people just forget. plus what else did he do that day? bad stuff? if it was bad then hes probably lying. if its not a big deal then im sure it just slipped his mind because he didnt think about it. lying can be considered telling something that isnt true, but also holding something back that you know someone doesnt want to hear. think about that. yo.