Self-seteem?

Question

How can a person build self-seteem when they feel like everyone, family, friends and just people in general don't show any respect or recognision of any worth that they may have????

Answer 1

Self-esteem can be built by trying (tho not easy) to assert yourself more in situations where you feel you are not being taken seriously or recognised as having important views of your own etc.

Thing is with self esteem it is other people and their behaviour towards you that affect it and the way you percieve their opinion of you that can erode it.

One of the best ways I can think of is to sieze the initiative by using kiplings six journeymen. These are words you place in front of a question where the other party cannot answer you yes or no. They are:- Where, when, why, what, how and who.

Examples:- What makes you say that? How do you feel about this view? Why do you think your view has more merit than mine?
Where are you coming from with that comment?

The next time you are being ignored, taken for granted, or not having the respect you deserve, throw these type of questions at the perpertrator.

They will have to answer you, they cant answer yes or no, so you just let them rattle on and on, when they stop ask them another one.

This has a really powerful effect because it gives you the control over the conversation, you come accross as the person in charge (as its you asking the questions)

Give it a try - I used to train people to do this for a living, I promise you it does wonders for your self esteem


Best of luck with it.........

Answer 2

First I think you need to confirm that the people in your life don't find you worthy. You need to tell them that you feel as if they don't respect you and find out if that is true. If it is, you need to put yourself in a different environment. An further step would be to get counseling if you can afford it. If you live near a university with a graduate school, sometimes they have low-cost programs using students who are about to graduate.

Second, you need to focus on what you value about yourself and build it up. Do you have a skill you are (or would be) particularly proud of? Is there a way you can work on that skill, develop it, maybe even join a group that is working toward the same goal? It is always best to find people who are going through the same thing you are - whether positively (building) or negatively (suffering). It helps to have compatriots who understand.

Self-esteem is tricky; I wrestle with it. I know that I should work on the parts of myself that I want to improve but if I don't believe in myself, why would I think that has any merit? Still, the reality is that the work is its own reward - even in the doing, one gets better. It's a very hard lesson to learn but I hope this helps. Best of luck.

Answer 3

The way you feel about youself can often affect the way we see other people.What you need to do is start A Few changes..self esteem does not come from make-up or nice clothes,it come from the inside..join a walking group,try some new soical scene..but not a pub,find some you time,treat yourself kindly..and write down what triggars these feelings within you,you are by no means alone,i am 27 and have two young children and my husband runs a full on buisness..and i sometimes feel like you,then i have to spend aweekend in the outdoors..and realise that i am not a wonderwoman..are you happy in your job.Perhaps do a coffee morning at your house and invite family over,tell them how you are feeling.

Answer 4

One way you can do this is to pick a subject, any subject - does not necessary have to be a school subject, and learn all you can about it. Be an expert. Find out EVERYTHING about the subject.

Provided you choose the subject, at least an semi-practical subject, you will have a chance to use your knowledge and feel good about yourself. Besides, all learning is ultimately for your enjoyment....

If you have a particular problem why you feel you get no respect, you should find out what that is, and make every effort to fix it. There is no loss in trying your best - even if you don't succeed, the skill and knowledge you learn along the way will help you in other ways.

Answer 5

how?
i'm not sure how u can convince people, without making urself look insecure.
if u're feeling like u're not receiving the recognition ur due.
find something other than family/friends 2 occupy ur time.
join a group u like the look of or find a hobby that will give u confidence in urself.
sounds silly but self-defence classes will give u confidence and self reliance.
it mayb better 4 u 2 look further than what others think of u and build ur own confidence.

Answer 6

The fact that you want to build self-esteem and are trying to shows that you care about yourself. That's a start. Stop caring about what other people think and get away from those who put you down because you won't get anywhere while you are listening to people.

Answer 7

You possibly just feel that everyone don't show any respect or recognition. They probably do. You need to first of all love yourself for who and what you are. You will find that when you start doing this people will perceive you differently.

Answer 8

you shouldnt really care what other people say or think about u......
i found out for myslef in this world you will never have a true friend u urself r ur only friend...
try to focus on ur good traits rather than the bad and ur the only one who can make ur self seteem go higher as well as lower

Answer 9

Self esteem comes from accomplishment. Get a hobby and work at something til you are good at it. Along the way you'll find you don't care what others think.

Answer 10

TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT YOU DO OR DONE. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT DO IT WELL,BE HAPPY WITH YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS. SET HIGHER STANDARDS FOR YOUR SELF AND ONCE YOU ACHIEVE THEM PAT YOUR SELF ON THE BACK. GIVE YOURSELF DAILEY AFFIRMATIONS, TELL YOURSELF YOUR A GOOD PERSON .
DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT OTHERS THINK OR SAY.ITS WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL THATS IMPORTANT.ALWAYS TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WANT TO BE TREATED AND IT WILL COME BACK POSITIVELY.
GIVE RESPECT AND YOU WILL RECEIVE RESPECT. DON'T DO THINGS TO GET RECOGNITION DO THEM JUST BECAUSE, DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING BACK. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. NOT EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU.