im 20 i live with my father and my step mother im still in college on wenesday i stayed after school to work on my nursing project so i came home around 5 50pm she called my dad at work and told him that i be coming home late and that im a bad influence on her kids. its not like i satyed out all the time that was the only day i did that. and i know shes doing all that cause i have no other family here but my dad and he would choose her before me. and now she is blaming me for her kids that are out of control its not my fault its her kids and shes never home to be with them and she wants me to be the sister and the parent at the same time. she wasnt like that in the begining cause ive lived with them since i was 15 now if i moved out without telling them they would be more pissed off at me what should i do, i cant be with my birth mother cause she live in the westindies.
2006-12-01 05:51:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you can afford to move out you should. You are trying to prepare for a career and you dont need the stress she is dishing out to you. She sounds like a hateful mean woman. You have my sympathy. Good luck to you.
2006-12-01 05:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that these situations, where a child is pitted against a stepparent, often turn out to be lose-lose. Find a time to talk to your dad one-on-one with no distractions. That probably means it will have to be outside of the house. If he suspects what you want to talk about then he might be less willing to find the time. You may have to make something up.
Once you can talk to your dad, try as hard as you can to not be accusing or say ugly things about stepmom. He cares about her and may get defensive and shut you out if you go in that direction. Explain your side and what you would like for the future (such as less responsibility as a parental type to the stepkids, understanding when you need to take care of school-related things, his support, ect). Not blaming stepmom is the key because he doesn't want to be caught in the middle. In fact, he might be more likely to side with her and not you. So try not to put him in a position that makes him feel so torn between you. Be as calm and careful with your words as possible. Ask him if maybe the three of you (dad, you adn stemom) could sit down and talk too and maybe come to an aggreement that works for all.
2006-12-01 06:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by amyo4190 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of there and go live with some friends. Your stepmom may really be mad at your Dad or her kids and is taking it out on you. This is not a healthy environment for you to live in.
2006-12-01 06:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by desertblue62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 20 years old and should be able to come and go as you please. Perhaps, you need to have a talk with your father and stepmother and express your frustration to them. If you don't feel like you can do this maybe you should rethink living with them altogether.
2006-12-01 06:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ann G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem!!! i guess you just get use to it or you be like me and am gone late every night!! so i don't have to deal with her.only a few more years then you can move out!!
2006-12-01 07:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with her and your dad and talk tell her that you fill she is dissing you and tell your dad you know he will side with her ,may be you might want to think of sharing a apt with some one else
2006-12-01 06:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to move out. or find a roommate to move in with. otherwise she will try to take advantage of u and use u as cook, nanny, and scapegoat
2006-12-01 05:55:15 · answer #7 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out if you can. and it is sad that your dad will chose her before you. you have to take care of yourself first.
2006-12-01 06:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hang on until you finish school and get a job where you can be on your own. no that your situation is only temp.
2006-12-01 05:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by desperate 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋