When my fiance and i decided to get married we told our families. My fiance's brother has hated me since he met me 6 years ago. He has caused so many problems already. When my fiance and I moved in together is when everything got way out of hand! I work later than my fiance so I would come home from work and Brandon(my soon to be brother in law) would be there with beer and he would always bring 3-4 girls as well he would do things to try to make it look as if Dustin wasn't being faithful. He has done everything to ruin our relationship. Just two nights ago he called and said that our wedding gift was going to be a trip for my fiance and himself to Vegas!! I was outraged! I said no! My fiance was ok with it because of the problems brandon had already caused and Brandon tries to pressure Dustin into things. Now he has already bought the plane tickets and Dustin feels obligated to go. I do not want him to go! I don't need the drama that brandon will cause.
2006-12-01 05:24:41 · 15 answers · asked by ohcosgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think as much as Brandon is a jerk, your soon to be husband, Dustin, should be trusted enough to know his limits.
I would actually buy a plane ticket and go myself just to have the last naugh ordeal. See if a few other people want to go, so it doesn't look like you can't trust Dustin to that extreme.
After all, this is about trusting Dustin's judgement. As much as you know Brandon instigates, Dustin should be able to stay "I love my fiance and if you don't stop trying to instigate, you will not be a part of our future".
If your fiance can't stand up for you and the relationship, then the problem is with Dustin, not brandon at that point...
2006-12-01 09:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Dustin doesn't have the courage to stand up to his brother now, your married life is going to be an absolute nightmare. The BIL is a jerk for wanting to take Dustin to Vegas. And to call it a wedding present is an insult to you. Just because the idiot bought the tickets, doesn't mean Dustin has to go!
If Brandon brings girls around now with you knowing about it, he will do it in Vegas. I'm sure you trust Dustin, but it sounds like he just can't say no to him.
Dustin needs to tell his brother he isn't going. He needs to put your feelings first. If he is that easily influenced by Brandon, you will never come first in his life.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I've seen it happen before. Good luck.
2006-12-01 09:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you have a peaceful talk as much as possible tell him no in a respectful way be like look we may not be legally married yet but basically you are married in practice and all the same courtesies and ways of conducting yourself willing should apply. If he bought the tickets w/o an answer that is his problem and maybe this is a perfect opportunity to show him how the two of you respect your relationship and maybe he then will to doubt it but it could be the start, people treat relationships how they see them or think it is. Also I hope this isnt the case but look back and some of your mates actions do you think he actually likes what this guys does and uses him as an excuse to do things kinda to slide it by you and has you thinking he doesnt like it because if he didnt and wanted to respect your relationship as he says he does then he wouldnt do it, actions always speak louder than words I mean really right before your marriage ask him is he really willing to give it all up the trip alone could ruin everying let alone what could happen while he's there I mean come on tell him what could there intentions be by going he should be giving both of the the gift and taking you both on a vacation this guy obviously likes to get him into trouble so to speak also ask you mate this, say you know how the friend is and will be with girl you know he's gonna try to get lucky and what will they have two seperate rooms, what when he goes out are they going to go out seperate no so what he's going to be in silence at a table or bar while these girls and the friend are talking no also the girls are really what you have to be worried about come on the whole situation is a no no no you know and he knows damn well what will go on and if he doesnt want to be married or in a relationship fine say so and then go on the trip but just know the consiquences, Good Luck KIMBUR
2006-12-01 05:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by KIMBUR 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, to answwer the question you asked; I think couple's showers are a great idea. My husband and I had a couple's shower as opposed to separate parties and we wouldn't have done it differently. he had no interest in a bachelor party and I had no interest in a bachelorette party so we had a shower together and it worked out great.
Now, for the details that didn't really relate to your question......
I think that is a rediculous idea fore a present from the brother!!! A wedding present just for the groom? Who has ever heard of such a thing!! Could you gather a friend or two and go to Vegas with them? You could both go party and do your thing, and meet up later together..........
I understand you hating the B-I-L but, if you trust your fiance......he won't do anything with anyone in vegas...even if the B-I-L is pressuring him. He's a big boy, and can make his own decisions!
2006-12-01 05:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you need to talk to your future husband, and not the brother. You can not stop the trip. However, he can and he should take your feelings into consideration. Your future brother in law is a mess, and probably very jealous. What a looser. Tell your husband to buy you a ticket and go along. If this is not a possibility, you must keep in mind, he can not be forced to do anything he is not willing to do regardless if he is at home or in Vegas. You have to trust him. And do not let the brother know how badly this is bothering you, it seems he feeds off of your discomfort.Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-01 05:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been to a couple's shower and it was a blast! Its a very good solution to not wanting separate parties.
But it won't solve the problem of this Vegas trip. I myself would tell him that you're buying a third plane ticket and turning it into a mini-vacation for me and my fiance, with the brother tagging along. Once he hears that's the new plane, he might decide that he'll just take someone else to Vegas instead of your fiance.
2006-12-01 06:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first off, I like the idea of couples showers, but I'm not sure what it has to do with the rest of this question. For the rest of it, your fiance's brother is a butthead. Dustin needs to stand up for himself and say no to going to Vegas. It's not his fault that his brother already bought the tickets. He also needs to tell his brother to back off.
2006-12-01 05:28:23 · answer #7 · answered by Casey 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A shower is for gifts. A bachelor/ette party is for one more wild night out. So you're talking about two totally different ideas. If Dustin hasn't done anything bad with all these previous opportunities, Vegas probably won't be a problem.
2006-12-01 05:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it shows a good deal more class than a couple of tacky parties to "celebrate" one last night of freedom....half the time both the guests and the honoree feel so obligated to have a good time that they end up regretting the entire event. As for your future brother-in-law, he is being an *** and your fiance needs to put his foot down,now,or Brandon's vendetta will continue and may escalate.
2006-12-01 08:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by jidwg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Answering the question without the problem part - It's novel and I think isn't a good idea... could even catch on.
2) o.k. now to the problem... Brandon's actions are not acceptable.. They are disrespectful to you and to your fiance.
- Your fiance must make a decission as to who is more important to him!!!!!! and YOU SHOULD NOT TOLERATE ANYTHING LESS THAN THE RESPECT YOU DESERVE!!!!!
Trust me, If you need to let the relationship go because of it, I would strongly recommend it... NOW IS THE TIME TO GET BRANDON UNDER CONTROL - period
3) Would you really like to live the rest of your life with these actions???? - I think not.... If your fiance isn't man enough to step up and handle it then YOU MUST BE WOMAN ENOUGH TO WALK!!!!!!
2006-12-01 05:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by gjm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋