ok my ex bf physically and emotinally abused me and i still love him. How can i fall out of love with him? Somebody please help me!!!
2006-12-01 05:18:09 · 37 answers · asked by Bubblez707 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have to fall out of love with him...Just give as good as your getting (or better) He gives you a backhand..... crack him in the head with a bat...He says things that hurt your feelings and makes you feel bad....Tell all your girlfriends he's got a small dick and doesn't know how to use it and have them spread that around town for a while....Everything dirty rotten thing he does to you just go one level worse do that everytime and you'll feel better and he won't!! I promise!!
2006-12-01 05:19:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sarsippius 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your basic problem is that you are confusing love with attraction and/or infatuation. If he loved you he would have never intentionally abused you emotionally and under no circumstances would he have done so physically.
You should not 'love' someone who is abusive to you. You are following the lessons learned from the constant barrage of romantic nonsense
fed to you through the social conditioning society has imposed on you.
Break the mold and get away from the romantic notion that 'love' bears all. that you are the recipient of 'tough love', that you have to succumb to the twisted morals and attitude of an abuser. I am a man who has been exposed to basically the same type of conditioning you have but there comes a time in all our lives where you must discard the old and useless values and adopt ones that will work in your favor without affecting other negatively. Don't become another statistic in the sad book of abused women! Get a grip and kick this cave-man to the curb! You deserve better. All good hearted women deserve better. Fight back for yourself and womankind!
2006-12-01 05:29:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is soooo common. Unfortunately, the situation never usually ends well. The best thing for you to do is seek some counseling, and learn the patterns of abuse. Once you have those patterns or behaviors pointed out to you, then you can turn you love into concern. You boyfriend more than likely has issues that he will have to conquer before his behavior stops. Women often get caught up in thinking that their love can change or help their mates, but it is simply not so.
2006-12-01 05:23:20 · answer #3 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer, you just don't want to accept it.
There's so much I'd like to tell you, but it would just push you closer to him. It's part of the mentality. The only person that can chose what will end it is you baby.
Emotionally he's making you dependent on him for appreciation and approval. That way you can't be strong enough to validate yourself.
When all the "cute" things you once did irritate him now, it's time to reevaluate. What does he really do for you? Breaking it off will hurt at first and there's no way to prevent that. But once you wake up feeling like a person again without him, you'll feel so much better. Even the sky looks more clear.
And do not jump into another relationship until you've given yourself the time needed to detox. You must get all that brainwashing out before you end up in the same relationship over and over.
I just hope you can get out before it's really too late. And that sounds redundent, I'm sure, because you've heard it before. But I know personally that it gets worse & does not ever get better.
Build up your self esteem by yourself because you are worth flowers and love. But you have to feel that you're worth it before you can find that person.
Don't be fooled by him either. Once you start to feel like your worth it, he'll get nervous and be on his best behavior, but it's only temporary. He'll be irritated by you having the nerve to be confident without his approval. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-01 05:40:57 · answer #4 · answered by censored_4_tv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been hurt physically but emotionally yes and no matter how much you cry yourself to sleep you love them so much that when they are being good....you go running back.
I wish i knew what to tell you, all i know is you can't fall out of love with someone that easily.....there are probably alot of reasons you fell in love with him the first place....u just got to get as far away from him as you can and find youself a distraction be it going out with your call friends, joining a class or even putting yourself out there for a guy who will truly appreciate you for you.
Good luck and i really hope you can get away from him permanently.....we forget how truly worthwhile we are and how we really settle for much less then what we deserve! It is hard though when it's good it's amazing but when it's bad it hurts so much.....it's just when the bad times outweigh the good it's time to go
2006-12-01 05:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by hoochiemama2000_uk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your situation has more to do with a low self-esteem issue than trying to fall out of love with an abusive bf. The upside is that your situation is one that many, many girls experience. That means that there is professional assistance and counseling from/by those who have experienced first-hand what you have. The tough part is that you must first commit to getting help for yourself before you allow yourself to continue in abusive relationships. That's the key to improving your own self-image, avoiding destructive relationships and allowing yourself to experience healthy, satisfactory relationships. Good luck.
2006-12-01 05:28:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this happen because you cannot 4get the past .this leave mark that show you r still in the matter of 'he is still the one for me ' thinking.you r lying to yourself.this happen when a couple get married and husband starting beating her wife and the wife keep on saying 'he will change but the fact is it will never be '.researcher found out this happen when kid read too much fairy tales when they were kid and made them fantasies'that prince charming will come and rescue you and they live happily ever after '.the problem is we r living in a reality world so face it . the guy abuse you is a a** h*** don let him come near you again.
2006-12-01 05:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not love that you are feeling. You are insecure and obviously starved for attention.....now.....that is not as bad as it sounds. I think you need to not focus on the relationship and start spoiling yourself. Buy yourself some clothes, a bottle of expensive wine, a massage, whatever..... Forget the ex. Do you know what ex means? Ex means, move on. Now get out there and treat yourself to something nice. Fall in love with yourself, you deserve it. You sound really nice.
2006-12-01 05:23:13 · answer #8 · answered by BudLt 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well hey with time you will start to forget about him and start liking someone else meet people get to know others. There is more fish in the sea. You should maybe stop talking to him if you still do and show him that you don't love him like you use to show him that you are strong and that you can live your life.
2006-12-01 05:22:06 · answer #9 · answered by babygurl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to break away from this. Just avoid him for a long time and meet someone that will be good to you. Also check out this book a girlfriend of mine is reading really good called Breakup Because its Broken. Good Luck.
2006-12-01 05:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Venus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋