Best way to bond with new cat?

Question

Ive recently purchased 2 cats from the rescue, a male and a female they are both 5 month old from the same litter

This is the first time ive ever owned a cat or cats should i say and i wanted to know the best way to bond with them?
They seem a little nervous around me if i get too close and seem to want to get away from me, and im probably seeming a little nervous too trying not to scare them off

The female has shown a little trust in me shes come upto me a few times to rub against my hand like cats do but if i go to her she seems to run off, or if i move in a certain way she'll quickly move away ( i think she thinks im trying to pick her up) she doesnt like being picked up

The male ive had fun with playin with his toy and tried to gently get closer to him using the toys which has helped a little but he does try and claw me if i put my hand near him, is this normal? or is this a sign to tell me to go away?

Any advice welcomed

I just want to pick them up and give them affection but they seem to reject and want to get away

Ive only had them a few days though and probably in time they will learn to trust me and hopefully let me be closer to them, i just dont want to make a mistake and them rejecting me, i dont want to intimidate them but at the same time i dont want to ignore them and not show them love

Answer 1

It will take a couple of weeks, it's quite normal. Cats are very cautious animals.

A good way to help them relax round you is to lie on the floor on your back when you're playing with them and dont move too quickly.

Don't try to pick them up too mch until they are more comfortable or they could associate it with feeling scared.

Answer 2

This new situation in their new home is traumatic for the cats, & it will take time to win their trust. Don't rush things. Watch their body language & if you see the ears going back, the tails swishing that means 'back off.' Try offering them food from your hands & stroke them as they feed. Bring your hand from the side, rather than down from over their heads, that's less intimidating for them. Don't try to pick them up yet. When they are relaxed take the opportunity to stroke them & to talk gently to them. Play with them - interatcive 'fishing rod' type toys are a good way to bond. Try brushing them gently - some cats enjoy this as it reminds them of being groomed by their mother. Introduce the brush gradually & again work from the side. You will need patience & there will be times when you feel that you are taking 1 step forwards & 2 steps backwards, but stick with it & I am sure that the cats will come to trust you. Just take things at their pace. Don't forget the importance of neutering & spaying if this hasn't already been done. Well done for rescuing these 2 cats - I hope you will have many happy years together. Enjoy.

Answer 3

Sometimes rescue organisations have kittens who have not been ideally socialized and it seems this burden has fallen on you. You will have a wonderful time with them believe me. Right now they are probably picking up on your insecurities. Try an affirmation like "My kittens love me and are happy in their new home". Something that is positive in the present - not will be or any statement implying that the future will be different. You can make it so by many times a day repeating your affirmation to yourself. You can also take each kitten, "So and so is loving and happy with me". Whatever fits for you! What you work at convincing yourself is true is true. Right now and forever.

You can also get some Bach flower essence Rescue Remedy from a health foods store. It is for emotional healing of fears, past traumas etc. and in your case will help with your feelings of insecurity. You can just shake the bottle very well and put three or four drops in a small glass of filtered water to sip throughout the day. If you can't touch the kittens right away you can put three or four drops on a small cloth and put it where they are sleeping or hiding out.."Refresh" the cloth about three or four times a day. The essences are preserved in brandy and cats don't usually like that taste. Kittens are a little less finicky in that respect and you can put drops in their wet food and water if they are drinking some. It is best to treat by putting a few drops on the kittens fur between their ears when you can.

The flower essences cannot harm you or the kittens in any way and can help speed up their adjustment to you and their new home. I started out my experience with cats without any knowledge at all about them. I made mistakes and no one was "harmed" in the process. Cats are loving and forgiving and they perceive your kind intentions even though you can't communicate with them through words.

Good luck and I am sure you will all have a wonderful life together.

Answer 4

Clawing you when you put your hand near him is normal and it's a sign for you to back off. These cats have been traumatized by their experiences on the streets and at the shelter and will be a lot less trusting than a house cat who lived in a home since it was a kitten. You need to go slowly with them and let them get used to you. This is true of any cat, but especially with cats in this situation. You need to let them approach you ALL the time at first. Just sit calmly and do other things and they will check you out and slowly become comfortable with you. Let them approach and rub against your leg, and don't make any sudden moves.

Keep feeding them every day at the same time, keep their water dish filled, make sure you sit in the same room with them for a certain amount of time every day so they see you as a fixture. Eventually they will come to you, but they might always be a little skittish. Friends of mine have taken in strays and although the cats came to really like spending time with them, they were always a little jumpy, even years after they took them in.

Answer 5

Give them a little more time to adjust to their new situation. Let them come to you on their own terms. After a month or so, you will know if they don't want to be picked up because they don't like it, or if they just don't trust you yet.

When you do pick them up, be sure they are upright, and not belly up. That will make them feel more secure in your arms. Some cats don't like to be picked up while a person is standing. You may want to try only holding them while you are sitting, for awhile.

Throughout the day, offer them little pieces of cheese. They will soon come running at the sound of your voice.

Answer 6

You are doing fine. You don't know what these 2 cats have been through before you met up with them. Give them time. They are obviously6y a bit shy. Cats have minds of their own and will not do anything they don't want to do. Just make sure they have lots of plates for food and 2 litter trays, a scratching post and some toys (lots of toys). Congratulations you will be fine in a few weeks

Answer 7

When you get cats from a you don't know how long they have been caged with minimal human contact. In shelters, they are normally caged, and the sounds can be loud and unpleasant. They many be a bit traumatized by the experience.

Time is your ally. They will be with you a long time. Try sitting on the floor, speaking softly and in a sing song voice, with a treat to offer. At five months they should begin to notice that you are the source of food. For this, it might not be a bad idea to use the bribe of some canned food. In front of them, open a can and offer the contents. They will soon begin to associate the sound of the can opening with food they like. They will know that you are the can opener. Food is the ultimate bribe and it took the last foster who came here two days to come running at the sound of a can being popped open.

You are already on the right track by wanting to bond. They can sense that. They may just need time to learn to trust a human.

Answer 8

cats are incredibly intelligent animals and dont respond well to bribery, they can spot it a mile away. a cat has to trust u b4 it will let u near it. always remember: a cat comes to you, always. dont ignore them, but dont make an effort to go near them.as you go about the house talk to them, or even sing, feed them at feeding time and give them things to play with, i found rolled up bits of paper are far more effective than bought toys. anything we buy for the cats is snubbed but if i brought in a new pair of shoes for example, they would head straight for the box.
eventually u will find urself sitting on the sofa and the cats will jump up and snuggle in. it does take time, try not to pay too much attention and u will reap the rewards.

Answer 9

Yes, cats are interesting creations. I congratulate you for taking them in and this is your first experience with them. I'm thinking since you got them for a rescue they may have been treated very badly before you had them. That is why they run away so quickly and why the male claws you occasionally. Besides that, it takes a while for cats to come to you. when you walk into a room where they are, you might just go about your business and ignore them. give them a chance to come to you. however, it sounds as though you are half way there already. Every cat's personality is different but, they are much more aloof than any dog. Enjoy your cats. Believe me, they are much happier with you than living in a shelter.

Answer 10

It is normal if the cats have not been what they call, "socialized", meaning, put in contact with human beings at a young age.

Eventually they will feel less affraid, if you win their trust. Don't try to force them, because cats are very independant, and don't like to be forced into something, whatever it is. If you try that, they will develop what I call the "you can't make me" attitude.

Also, it is better to get them spayed and neutered, because fertile females go into heat (and that is not very funny, either for you or your neighbors) and intact males tend to spray a very strong-smelling urine to mark their territories (By the way, nature is well made, cubs from the same litter will rarely mate together).

Answer 11

Buy some treats to give to them. Have them take them from your hands, this will help them gain trust in you. Also buys some toys to throw around for them, this will show them that you are fun. They probably just need a little time getting used to you and their new environment. Good luck!!