I put a lot of time and effort to put together bayberry candle grams and selecting Christmas gifts, but some of the recipients do not acknowledge them at all. I don't expect a ticker-tape parade, but I feel hurt when hours of work and design go into a project and there is no appreciation. So should I continue to send greetings, or after a few years, remove names from my list? Is the 'thank you' extinct?
2006-12-01 05:00:46 · 18 answers · asked by Saph 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The Bayberry candle grams are something I designed based on the bayberry candle tradition (a bayberry candle received as a gift, lit and allowed to burn itself out on Christmas Eve, brings good health and much wealth in the coming year). The people who have responded have said I should go into business. This years design has been months in the design, selection of materials, and production.
2006-12-01 05:16:42 · update #1
***Please note that this is NOT about getting 'something in return', as much as a basic acknowledgement that the greeting has been received.
2006-12-02 01:34:14 · update #2
I love the idea of your candle grams! I wish you allowed e-mail, because I would like to learn more about them!
If I don't get a card back after 2 years, I drop them.
But when I used to send a lot of cards, there were a few old people I always sent to, and never received one back. They always appreciated getting mine, but I don't think they had the energy to send out cards. They are all dead now, but I'm glad I brightened their day.
I think a lot of people are just plain ignorant and rude. They don't respond to RSVP----in fact, they don't even know what it means! There are a couple of people who never thanked me for a high school graduation gift. So when their wedding invitation came, I sent a card and that's all. No more presents from me if they can't write a thank you note.
Two years ago, we gave money when a nephew died. Addressed the card and check to the widow. Also gave a card to the brother and mother. We got a thank you from the brother "for all you've done", but nothing from the widow at all. But it didn't take long for her to cash the check. Bad manners, for sure.
So I guess if I were you, I would continue to send to the people who may be old, or close to you---friend or relative, even if they don't send one to you. But if other people are able-bodied and don't respond, I wouldn't waste my time on them!
2006-12-01 06:07:00 · answer #1 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you definitely shouldn't base your sending of a gift on whether or not someone thanks you. I mean, any gift that's given with hope for reciprocation isn't truly a gift. On the other hand, it's not necessary to spend months worth of effort on all of your Christmas giving. A traditional Christmas card might be just fine for some of the people on your list.
Think of it this way: I know that there are many times I receive cards or messages from people that I really appreciate, even though I don't necessarily remember to thank them. Life is busy and I just forget sometimes. So just because they didn't send anything doesn't meant they're not thankful.
2006-12-01 12:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends. If they are not close friends, or if you haven't seen them during the year, and if you didn't receive a card from them last year, don't send them one this.
If someone you care about doesn't reciprocate, maybe they just don't send cards - this is happening more and more in these environmentally conscious times - to the delight of men everywhere! ;) In which case you just have to decide whether the pleasure you get in giving is greater than your disappointment in not receiving. I have a couple of friends who never send cards yet I always send them one and take pleasure in choosing ones I think they will like.
By the way, I would love to know what bayberry candle grams are - they sound wonderful.
2006-12-01 05:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by pompeii 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been sending letters and cards for years and most of the time, people do not reciprocate. However, since it is something I personally enjoy doing, I continue to send them to those I really care about (close family), but stop sending to those who do not even acknowledge my kind act. Some people are just not card/mail gift people. And yes, for SOME, the "thank you" is even extinct.
2006-12-01 06:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by ocgirl310 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might be overlooking the fact Saph that a lot of people dont make a habit of sending cards so if you send cards to these folk you must accept the fact you wont get a reply
2006-12-01 05:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also send out cards, and all it takes for me is one year of not getting one from someone to take them off for the following year.
2006-12-01 05:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by frenchy62 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would write them off after a couple of years of showing how insensitive they are. But it also depends on who they are and their relationship to you. I have out-of-state in-laws who receive gift baskets and cards all year long from me, but never express one sentiment of gratitude.
2006-12-01 05:04:34 · answer #7 · answered by piano nerd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always only send greetings to whom you want. Don't base it on who gets something for you.
2006-12-02 01:29:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too good. Don't send to those who don't thank you. Calling them with greetings would be better.
2006-12-01 19:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send them a card but not let them know WHO sent it by not signing the card and not putting a return address on the envelope.
2017-02-15 21:58:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋