My gf has been to counseling, I know that much, but don't know for what. (Something pretty serious I'd say) I assure you I accept her privacy and right to tell me as little or as much as she feels comfortable. But this is ruining a once promising relationship and she would admit to it, too. I have been doing a little research and have come to a conclusion. She wants to feel right and whole again. I see her torment herself over this frequently. I know we care for each other very deeply. I want to tell her I think I know what is going on despite the consequences if I am wrong. I am ALMOST to the point where I don't care if she hates me or not, so long as she does something to help herself. So if you loved them, would you tell them so they understand that YOU understand what they are going through and reassure them you don't blame them and are there for them?
2006-12-01 04:57:52 · 11 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your girlfriend will tell you when she is ready and if you have to know now and push her on it then You will ruin the once promising relationship.
Give her the space she needs and you will be rewarded.
If you think you have it figured out then do some research on your own and find ways to help her through.
With you pushing her to tell you you are actually making her NOT trust you. If you can be patient and give her the space to tell you on her own then she will KNOW she CAN trust you and your relationship will be better for it.
2006-12-01 05:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by bootsjeansnpearls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she's probably holding something back that was in the past and that she wants to forget about it just for once...her takin counsling is probably best for her right now...the best thing u can do is to just comfort her and respect her the best way u can...don't mention it and be as happy as u can be..ignoring her or bugging her about it will jus make her think that u want all up in her privacy and stuff if u stay calm with her and talk with her and put it past her she might jus open up to u and want to tell u later..yeah trust is big in a relationship but something serious that is gettin help and that u want to forget it would be hard if somone kept mentioning it...she's probably blaming u bc something seriously happen and she's gonna need ur help to get through it too...if u let her be comfortable and let her know that know matter what u still love her and u are goin to be right there with her every step....If u give her ur attention and support then she will open up to u more...
2006-12-01 13:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by BurgNavigator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy will never be able to guess/think they know what is going on in a girls head. My bf sometimes will be like, "What were you thinking of, just then?" And I'll say, "Honestly? I was imagining going to the Vault and running into the guy who beat your brother and imagined stabbing him in the leg then punching him in the face and then stomping on his balls. Then I that that situation would only work best around Halloween because then you can wear a costume and the guy couldn't identify me and come after me." And this was just a random thought as we were driving down the freeway.
Just be honest with your girl, tell her something like, "I know you've been going to counselling and I totally totally respect your privacy but I just want you to know that I love you and it hurts me that I feel you're keeping something from me. If it's something from BEFORE we started dating, I understand, but if it's something from during our time together it really hurts me that you're keeping it from me. I love you and nothing will change that and I'll try to be here for you best I can"
Could be that she cheated on you and feels HORRIBLE and is seeking counselling - then she wouldn't want to tell you because she doesn't want to lose you.
2006-12-01 13:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 604 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her that you love her, you will always be there for her, and that you hope that one day, when she is feeling strong enough she will tell you what is going on. Unless the same thing has happened to us we never "know what they are going through" we can only say that no matter what may have happened in the past - we see ourselves building a future with them.
2006-12-01 13:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would make sure that whoever the other person is, they knew I was there to be relied upon. I know you can't go into detail but how are you sure that what you are assuming is the truth, is the actual truth? Make sure of what you suspect first. If you are patient enough and the love between you two is as strong as it is then you telling her that you are there for her should not affect it any.
2006-12-01 13:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever it is if she is in counseling and is trying to get through it she really wants to forget it. She doesn't want you to bring it up because the reason she is in counseling is to get past it. It might also be embarrassing for her. Let her get through this with her privacy and you just continue to be a good boyfriend to her. That's what she really wants from you.
2006-12-01 13:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you loved them and cared about them enough, you'd tell them regardless of the outcome. See to help someone out, we must decide to take the risk of losing something of our own. Doesn't mean you'll lose anything because things may turn out for the better, but it's just always better to be prepared for the worst. I think you should tell her if you really love her.
2006-12-01 13:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by FlyAwAyHome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No wonder she needs counseling. You are two faced as h....! You say you respect her right to tell you what and how much but then you go on to say you want to force her to tell you what you want to know.
Looks to me that she's right in telling you nothing.
2006-12-01 13:03:38 · answer #8 · answered by idiot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her something she doesn't know about you maybe that will allow her to open up. If that doesn't work then when you tell her that you my have an idea as to what she's doing you have to be calm. Good Luck
2006-12-01 13:04:04 · answer #9 · answered by scorpio84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, absolutely. talk to her and tell her how you feel and see how she responds. if the two of you love each other then you can work it out.
2006-12-01 13:01:57 · answer #10 · answered by yensenm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋