Alright so I have had a really tough month with my bf I love him I do, But he cheated and of all nights the night we had planned to spend time together no call nothin just dogged me!!!! He came clean and told me about what happen. He says he knows he screwed up has agreed to delete her and cut all contact but I dont know if I should believe that. I told him I was willing to try and work it out he has been very sweet an lovey since but I feel it is all a show after all he basically got to sleep with another woman and got away with it stupid on my part but since I told him I would work it out I feel I should at least try. The hard part is letting go of what happen I now dont know if I can trust what he is sayin or what he is doing and in the back of my head I am worried he will do this again all my friends told me to watch myself and about his past and I didnt listen. please help I am lost and feel like he is only being oh so charming cuz he got off easy.
2006-12-01 04:40:16 · 22 answers · asked by chrissylynn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry to be so cynical about this, but....
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ditch him before you get hurt again.
2006-12-01 04:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by Amigurl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, let me tell you from my own experience. My husband cheated on me and I found out and i did the same as you. I was stupid because i wanted soo much to believe that he was truly sorry. Things got better for a while, in fact, things were great....until it happened again and again and again. Finally I got smart and put my foot down. You said that you were warned about his past already and unfortunately some people don't know how to stop living in the past. This boy will not change for you, at least not for long. Please do your self a huge favor and move on without him. Save yourself the heartache and the tears. This will stay in the back of your mind forever and no matter how hard you try to overcome this, you never fully will. You may forgive, but you will never forget what he has done and i promise you that it will eat away at you for as long as you allow him to stay. You deserve someone who will love you completely for who you are and will accept you for the things you have to offer ( your mind, your heart, your soul) not someone who is only wanting to dip their stick. I hope all the best for you and good luck.
2006-12-01 04:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Danelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Key to cheating: it's an addiction that can't be broken. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
You need to step up for yourself and push him to the curb. ANY guy who cheats on you isn't worth a second chance. If he loved you so much he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. Take control of your life and decide why he is so great to you...oh that's right! He cheated...he's not so great.
Don't let your "love" blind you from the fact that he cheated. No amount of deletion will make that go away. Do NOT let go of what happened. This isn't like he lost control of the car and had a wreck.
He CHOOSE to have sex with another women. He CHOOSE to wreck your relationship. Why would you want to stay with him?
2006-12-01 04:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The problem you're having makes sense. If your chosing to stay with him, a large amount of insecurities and jealousy are going to set in.
How can you trust him? You can't. He has to earn that trust again. It's going to take a LONG time.
How can you forget about it? You can't. Only time will ease the pain.
It's unfortunate that this happened. Personally, I would never stay with someone who cheated on me. The lack of trust, insecurities, and the lack of respect that one has to have for me is too much to bear. A person who cheats... is sorry, but usually only to the extent that they're trying to save the relationship. If you're friends warned you about his past.... maybe he's done this before... and it's possible he's likely to do it again.
I would run like hell if I were you. Will that suck because you love him? yes. Will you be better off with someone that respects you? yes.
You're being hurt by dumping him will likely go away faster than the pain from him cheating on you.
Good luck
mj
PS. It also sounds to me.... in the beginning of your paragraph above.. "I love him, I do"... like you're trying to convince yourself that you love this boy. I think you can get over him quickly.
2006-12-01 04:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're right on all accounts.
This guy is only putting on a song and dance routine. "Baby, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." Where was all that when he was laid up with miss thang!? He didn't even respect you enough to call and say he wasn't going to be able to see you that night. Just left you hangin.
You;re not stupid, but you will be doing something stupid if you take him back. He has shown a complete lack of disrespect for you, and if you let him off easy, and take him back, he'll feel like he's got you right where he wants you. Let him back in after this, HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.
Why would you want to let go of your feelings? What he did was wrong. He hurt you. Let him know about it. Don't play deaf, dumb, and blind to please him. He's already shown he's not worthy of you. He can't be trusted - not even with a penny, much less your heart.
He's already got what's her face. He'll be alright. Let's concentrate on you. Drop him, and find a new guy.
A real man's opinion.
2006-12-01 04:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by peter n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Break up with this loser. I understand you love him and everything but havent you ever heard of the saying, "once a cheat, always a cheat" its true. if this guy REALLY loved you, he wouldnt have even been tempted to mess around with another woman. I guess its good that he came clean and everything, but that doesnt mean anything. By you staying with him, your basically letting him walk all over you. Dont put up with that, break up with them. If you continue to date him, its going to take forever to build up that trust again, that is if you even are able to trust him again (which by the way its really hard) you will have to live every day of your life wondering where he is and what hes doing and if he is really where he is telling you he is. Of course hes being nice now, he doesnt want you to leave him. He has it made, he can have you, the girl who loves him and does anything for him, and then he can have some other girls, who he just sees as sex. Dont let him walk all over you, break up with him. He will do it again, it doesnt get any better from now, the relationship will all go downhill. Im telling you this from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. If you really love him and think you guys can make it through this, then continue dating him, im just letting you know its going to be very hard and stressfull on your part. You probably dont want to break up with him because of course, you love him, but there are thousands of guys out there who are going to love you and respect you and not lie or cheat on you ever. You deserve that for yourself, no girl deserves to be cheated on, so please, respect yourself and break up with him, at least for a while, and if he proves to you that he wont ever do it again and you actually believe him, then give him another chance. but my advice to you would be, dont. good luck in everything you do!.
2006-12-01 04:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ricki M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off how old is he? Like that really matters. Silly me. Things with guys are complicated. Usually ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER. I guess it depends on how you feel about him after all this. You can tell him that you will give him another chance, but it's going to take time to get his trust back. Usually if a guy cheats I recommend dumping his sorry a$$. But honey do what you feel is in your heart. Don't get hurt. Good luck.
2006-12-01 04:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by J~Me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He got away with it this time. He will do it again. Tell him you can't trust him anymore because of the cheating and you are afraid of getting hurt worse and then tell him that you want to break up. It's for the best. You already know this in your heart.
2006-12-01 04:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by country girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is okay and absolutely right to forgive
Trust on the other hand is earned... so don't let him get off so easy.
Love him.. yes!
Be understanding...yes!
Be taken for granted...NO
Be used..until the next tight pussy comes along...(sorry for being blunt) Absolutely NOT!
Trust takes time to develop one step at a time. Be watch full but not overly concerned. He will show who he is all by him self.
Sounds to me like your a sweet girl and you deserve a devoted man
2006-12-01 04:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by Friend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hun, the saying once a cheater, always a cheater needs to be stuck in your head right now. Personally, I would have sent him packin! And if he truly loves you as much as you love him, he wouldn’t have had sex with another chick! Sorry. Good luck hun!
2006-12-01 04:45:18 · answer #10 · answered by Little Southern Belle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he still is cheating on you and if i was you i would use him the way he used me and find some one else thats not going to cheat on me if he really cared about you he would of never did that and he sayes he deleted her number he could of written it down and still called her so just find someone else.
2006-12-01 04:47:42 · answer #11 · answered by Riyonna D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋