Open adoption or closed adoption?

Question

Is it better for the child/baby to have an open adoption or a closed adoption with birthparents? Why?

Answer 1

I think the child benifits more from an opened adoption.
They grow up knowing their biological parents and don't have the questions of who they are and they don't have to have this long search for them.
Also, its not as dramatic, because they won't feel like they were completely abandoned. They will know they are loved, and that the bio parents wanted to be in their life.
So they in turn benifit from knowing they have 2 sets of parents that love them dearing. Most cases i've seen, they adoptees are the parents and the bio parents were just that, the people that gave them life. Most generally good friends of the family.
You would have to be a very strong person to be able to watch someone else raise your child though, and remember that you aren't the parent.

Answer 2

That would depend on the birthparents. The adoptive parents and them would have see eye to eye on alot of issues in order for it to work out to be a friendly relationship. If that is the case then I think an open adoption is a wonderful thing. A child never can have too much love!

Answer 3

I had a closed adoption, mainly because at the time my parents were 33 and 36 and deemed too old to adopt. Closed adoption was the only way.

Honestly, I don't think it matters one way or the other. What IS important is that the adopted parents are honest about the adoption. When the child is ready, s/he will find his or her birth parents. Closed adoptions just make it more difficult.

I think it should be what is easier for the birth parents. If they aren't comfortable with an open adoption, they shouldn't be forced into it.

Honestly, I think that either way is great. Being the adopted baby of a closed adoption, all I can say is that it is great to imagine who my birth parents are. Will I find them someday? Sure. But right now I don't need that extra stress. My parents know their names, and when the time is right I will search for them.

The key to ANY adoption is just being honest.

Answer 4

The biggest problem with open adoptions is that they are NOT legally enforceable. Even if both parties have a nice legal looking contract drawn up and filed with the courts. Once the adoption is final, the adoptive parents can close the adoption at anytime without reason or notification and the first mother has no legal recourse. Quite often "open adoption" is simply the bait deserate couples use to get a pregnant mother to choose them to adopt her child. I was adopted. It was closed. I didn't even know I was adopted until I was 9. I found out on my own by accident. It was traumatic and took years to be able to deal with it. It caused a lot of problems in my life. I was reunited with my first mom and my siblings and that helped a lot. My ex husband was adopted thru a closed adoption and has not found his first family. He still struggles and suffers because of it. I am an adoptive mother in a true open adoption. Because of my experiences as an adopted person, I refused to keep my daughter's first mom out of her life. She is on my facebook so she can see all the pictures and updates I post about our (yes our, not my) daughter. She can call me anytime she wants to ask how our daughter is doing. Our daughter is only 3 and has severe speech and language delays or her other mother could talk to her too. Someday hopefully our daughter will be able to talk to her other mom on the phone anytime she likes. My daughter's other mom can come visit anytime she wants. She has moved to another state, but she used to come spend one weekend a month with us. Now that she is in another state she comes once or twice a year. She is always welcome to spend a night (or a week) with us. Someday if/when she has other kids, our daughter can grow up knowing her siblings. Oh and our daughter also has a grandmother on her other mother's side! I don't know how my daughter will feel about her adoption experience 20 years from now. I hope that it has been a much more positive experience than I had. However I do believe that she will have some pain and sadness about her adoption. Her story is a sad one and I expect her to grieve the fact that her first mother could not raise her.

Answer 5

I was a longtime nanny for a family who ended up adopting 3 babies through open adoption. They are SO happy. They met the natural parents before the babies were born (through Catholic Social Services). They were even present at atleast one of the births. They have maintained relationships with each set of natural parents as well as grandparents. The kids call the natural parents by their first names but refer to the g-parents as grandpa/grandma, etc. These kids are so happy. They never have to wonder who had them, why they gave them up - they will never have to search. They keep in contact, have visits from the birthparents, grandparents,etc All 3 girls were given middle names after their natural parents and first names after their adoptive parents. It's was 16 years ago when I started and I still stay in contact with this family and they are all still doing very well.
My Ex and his brother were adopted through closed adoption - my ex has very harsh feelings towards his b-parents, has no clue who they are, where there from or why they gave him up. His adopted brother has been searching for his birthfamily for years with no luck. If I was involved on either end of an adoption I wwould definately chose Open - It's got to be the healthiest for the kids I think.

Answer 6

It depends on the situation. If the parents are force to give their child up then look into. If it is by chance ask why and come to an agreement. If the law took the child because of abuse and neglect , it should be close. If the parents feel that at that time that their situation is bad but they can't afford to take care of the child, then they should still be around.
It is just really what would make both parent comfortable but in good decision for the child.

Answer 7

Open adoption is better. The birth mother gets to pick the parents, not an agency that only has THEIR best interest at heart. Also this is better as far as medical history. If the child was ever to become ill and God fobid, need a transfusion, bone marrow or a kidney transplant, they can contact the birth family,

Answer 8

I think an open adoption might be better. The child has the stability and love of the adoptive home but knows they are also loved by the birth parent. (and saves trouble later of having children search for birth parents.)

Answer 9

I would say open. And the adoptive parents should be honest about the childs background.

Answer 10

The answer depends on the situation. We had a closed one because the parents would not stop the drug using. If you get along with the birth parents and they really are trying, then it would probably work, but as in our case, they didnt; care, so what was the point in trying to involve them. It depends alot on the birth parents. Best of luck with your choice.