Im dating someone who's 22 & im 32 & sometimes it seems like some things we go thru, i've already been thru & it's really frustrating. Should i find someone on my level or try to mold the youngster. i try but she just doesnt get it sometimes.
2006-12-01 04:05:29 · 19 answers · asked by jlicious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you must have money - that is why she is going out with you - ah duh
2006-12-01 04:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It greatly depends on the maturity level of the younger one. My husband is 9 years older than I. He is 32 and I am 23. In the 7 years we have been friends, dating, and now married, we have had only 1 issue. The problem was the few years when I was still under 21 and I could not go all the places he could (like the bar). Now that it's not an issue, we barely even think about it.
If your saying that you don't think she's grown up enough to be with an older man, than no I don't think you should attempt to "mold her". Don't rob her of her youth. If she was mature enough you would know it because she would already be "on your same level".
BTW - My father is married to a woman 12 years younger than him. When they met she was 21 and he was 33 (and he had a 5 year old kid). My stepmother handled it very well. Now, they will celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary this month. So it CAN work out. But your right, you both need to be on the same level (physically, mentally, and emotionally)
I wish you the best of luck. If you need further advise just email me, I'll be here.
2006-12-01 12:31:50 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The perfect age difference which has proved to work out best is when the husband is 5 years older to his wife. There is not much difference in their age and thus in their views and attitudes. It has been noticed and accepted, that a relationship with this difference has worked out quite well compared otherwise. There is more chance of understanding and appreciating and respecting each other's views, beliefs and attitudes. Plus there is not much difference in the maturity level of the two as both have almost the same experience of life.
Before considering any relationship with age difference, one should keep in mind these three things:
First, both partners should be old enough to have experienced life and thus mature enough to understand the life and its necessities. Both need to be adults.
Second, neither of the two partners have a problem with the difference in years.
Finally, the two must have that connection between them which make them right for each other.
2006-12-01 12:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by grayddin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband & I are 13 years apart. We started dating when I was 16 & he was 29. After over 20 years of marriage, he comments at times on how hard it was to "raise" me, and we both laugh.
There are some pretty heavy issues to overcome in this kind of relationship. You 2 will see things differently. She is younger & has not learned many of the things that you have. If you love each other, work through the issues and have patience. All couple have some issues to resolve anyway. If you like her but not enough to consider her as a life partner, maybe you should consider calling it quits.
2006-12-01 12:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by Shenendoah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im struggling with same thing right now myself. I've developed a crush on a gal who is 15 years my junior, and have gone out with her a few times. I think we have a good connection with some things that interest both of us, and the age thing doesn't seem to be an issue. However, I think when you interact with anyone, there may be situations that you have experienced that the other has not. Don't assume that she hasn't been through everything that you have. Be patient and listen to her. Let her experience whatever it is that you are going through with her
2006-12-01 12:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by captainkirkwood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 18, I dated a 35 year old, so I know what you are going through. It didn't last, but not because of the age difference. I know it is frustrating. He had been through so much more than I had, but I stuck with him anyway. If your situation is going to be a problem for you, though, you should find someone new. If you really love her, give her a chance.
2006-12-01 12:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by Kaylin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not take this girl's youth away. FIND SOMEONE YOUR OWN AGE. If you want to mold a youngster join BIG Brother's, Big Sister's or buy a can of playdough and some cookie cutters and mold away. She deserves her youth. You had yours already. That is not her fault.
2006-12-01 12:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u have answered ur own question there... u have tried to mould the youngster... what are u dating a clump of clay? If u are gettin frustrated then maybe u should leave her and give her a chance to find someone who is more on her wavelength.. and u can go and take pottery classes....
2006-12-01 12:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by angelindisguise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to change someone. Calling her a youngster makes it sound like you do not have respect for her as an equal and therefore I believe this age difference is causing trouble for you and you should move on.
2006-12-01 12:07:31 · answer #9 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some it's not that much of a difference. It depends on her maturity level. There was a 13 year difference between me and mine. Its a maturity difference that is the big problem. Don't try to mold her. you can give her wisdom from your experience and guidance.
2006-12-01 12:10:09 · answer #10 · answered by faith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with someone your own age. Of course it makes a big difference at her age, she is still a baby. Her brain won't be fully mature for a couple of years yet. What were you thinking? If you were 40 and she were 30, that would be totally different. You need someone more mature.
2006-12-01 12:08:45 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋