Do you believe once a "cheat" aways a "cheat"?

Question

I have been with my man for 3 years a while ago when we were on a sort of "break" (but we agreed to not see anyone else)I found out he had sex with someone else like 10 times behind my back.All the while He and I were still sexually "together"
Its complcated but, do you believe once a cheat always a cheat?

Answer 1

absolutely...

Answer 2

No, but I do believe it OFTEN happens. Always just isn't true, some people cheat and find they don't have the stomach for it or they have a conscience after all.

Many however, especially those that have done it more than once, are quite likely to continue cheating.

How can you trust someone that you know had sex with someone else at least 10 times? It wasn't an isolated "got caught up in the moment and made a mistake" situation.

Being on a break typically leaves people to do whatever they desire...however if you both had given each other your word that you would not see other people, then he broke his word.

Did he cheat? That's debatable since you weren't a couple at the time...but he did break his word not to see others so the issue of trust is still there.

Answer 3

Many people may not agree with this ... but this is my solution to cheaters, it my 3-Step process:

1. Tell them that they been caught (if you have solid evidence).

2. Tell them how you feel about -- let everything out ... even if it hurts.

3. End the relationship -- why? Because, no two people can ever be truly happy if there's another persoin in the mix. Sure people will put up with it ... but why do so ?????? Its less stress and dramatic to just separate. LOL, no unless you are into "swinging" (hope not, its very disgusting)

Sometimes people need time to mature and evolve -- the same person you met when they were 22 yrs old maybe a totally different person by age 27 or older. As a result, people "grow out "of relationships because their desires, and their ambitions change. Ultimately, if personality chnages, so does feelings.

****I remember feeling very strongly for a man in 2005 .... but now that I observed more of his personality (he's a sleaze), my feelings changed dramtically. Also, the different influences in my life caused some changes in my personality ... NOW, I'm a complete different person. Currently, this guy wants a relationship with me, but I don't want one with him because of his maturity level ... it simply doesn't match mine.

Anyway, to directly answer your question, this is what I think.

Try putting yourself in a 'cheaters' position for a minute. If you were allowed to get away with something repeatedly without any sort of backlash ... wouldn't you still continue to do it ?????

My point is that anyone will continue to cheat if the person they are with doesn't give consequences after the fact.

Hope this all helps!

Answer 4

u cant always b so sure. bcuz some only cheat once and when they get caught and realize what they are about 2 loose they never do it again... but u can never b 2 sure

2 me its what you feel in your heart. You have 2 follow your heart. If you feel that he is goin 2 do it again and u dont want 2 get hurt then u leave, but if u trust him and love him enough 2 believe that he wont do it again then you give him another chance but u have 2 b careful and keep your guards up for a while.

I wont b like most people and judge others becuz I cant speak 4 no one. But my opinion is its all in your heart. What u feel u should do.

Answer 5

Wait, I'm confused......You were on a "break" but you were still sleeping together? It sounds to me like he just wanted to get some tail on the side and not feel guilty. Sometimes, people do make mistakes. Not everyone that cheats one time is prone to doing it over and over. If the person is doing it more than once with someone, or with more than one person, then maybe you'd better think twice about how much you really know and trust them.

Answer 6

I think I would judge him based on his actions. Has this happened before? Has he cheated on other girlfriends? Does he seem sorry? Does he think he did something wrong? Does he take responsibility for his actions? Is he willing to do whatever you need him to to regain your trust?

Some men just get their kicks cheating and some have lapses in judgement. A lapse in judgement does not have to be the end of a relationship if you can both work on it openly and honestly.

Answer 7

He didn't cheat on you. The man you're with was born to be a liar, be promiscuous and have no moral standards.
There are just twenty seven men out there that have moral standards, won't lie and can be monogamous.
Don't be so desperate. Raise your standards, take your time and find one of the remaining twenty seven.

Answer 8

YEP
i believe once a cheater always a cheater...

it may go away for a lil while, but it is always there and can come out at any time...beware of cheaters if you don't want to play the game.

Answer 9

Not necessarily. The question that you need to ask is can you forgive and forget? If not, then the cheating will always be hanging over your head. So in your mind, he will always be a cheater to you.

Answer 10

My boyfriend cheated on his exwife with 1900 girls and so far has attempted to cheat on me twice and has actually done it one time that I know of. I still love him dearly and desperately need him. I kind of know what I am getting into but if you love the man be willing to deal with the cheating, just as long as he still wants to be with you and comes home to you. Its all about your circumstances. Back in biblical days Solomon had a thousand wives so be grateful if he only cheats on you a couple of times !

Answer 11

NO ONCE A CHEAT AINT ALWAYS A CHEAT BUT IF HE HAD SEX W/ A DIFFRENT GURL 10 TIMES THEN I WOULDNT GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE BUT THATS JSUT MY OPPION ILL LET U MAKE UR OWN WELL I HOPE U MAK THE WRITE ONE ..... BUT IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH U THEN HE WOULDNT OF EVEN HAD IT 1 TIME WITH ANOTHER GURL .....
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