Why do people avoid eye contact with the Salvation Army bell ringer?

Question

I volunteer to ring the bell for the salvation army. Lots of people keep their head down or walk around. Why not just a smile and hello even if you can't donate?

Answer 1

Wow - what a great question. I find myself not donating as well, and I do not make eye contact with the bell ringer.

That constant ringing is just like someone saying to me, "You must donate. You must donate." I actually cringe when I hear the bell, because I know I am not putting money in the bucket, and I know I have to confront the bell ringer.

Sadly, for me, many people who are simply looking for handouts and refuse to work to help themselves are the recipients of a lot of people's hard-earned money. I do know that there are many, many truly needy people out there. But sadly, the bad ones spoil it for them.

There was a woman I knew that used to cook two Christmas meals. One for her family, and one for a "family in need." One year, she went to drop the food off at the house of the person she drew, and the woman looked her straight in the face and said, "Is that all the gravy that we get?" And she said that this woman's house was just FILLED with toys. Toys that had been donated. This woman felt that her family was ENTITLED to all these handouts, and didn't appreciate the gifts one bit. That generous woman never helped out again. AND, to make matters worse, this woman got all these handouts by going through a MAJOR agency. I don't have much money. So what money I do have, I want to go to my family, who also don't have much money, as opposed to it going to someone who feels entitled to it.

BUT! Then there's you the bell ringer. You are trying to do something great for society. So I feel bad and guilty when people like me who refuse to donate have to come face to face with the ringer. If I knew that recipients would be thankful and TRULY have nowhere to turn, then I would put dollars in that bucket everytime.

Answer 2

I'm guilty on that charge. I don't make eye contact because I feel embarrassed about not donating. I'm afraid the bell ringer will think I'm just stingy. I live in a dangerous area, so I never carry cash, and I'm working and taking out loans to put myself through college. I feel a burden to give to others, and I do when I can, but this month I can't even pay my rent. I'm not complaining, but I already feel guilty about not donating, and I hate to tell people "no" when they ask me to give to a good cause. Plus, seeing the bell ringer's kind of a reminder to me that I'm worse off financially now than I was a few years ago when I would always drop whatever change I had in the red bucket, so I guess sometimes I feel sad and frustrated, too. Nothing personal, though--I think it's great that you're doing that! I'll try to remember to smile at you guys more when I see you. :)

Answer 3

Maybe those are the people who are ashamed and know their wrong when they dont donate anything at all to the Salvation army I mean even if someone donates pocket change thats better than nothing. I mean hello people its the hoilday season give a little or if you cant give anything at all give some of your time to volunteer for a good cause! Im going to be volunteering at a hospital over winter break and doing stocking stuffers for needy kids. I mean tis the season people! Show some holiday spirit!! Wow JP wrote an essay!

Answer 4

Some people might not want you to make eye contact because they might feel obligated to make a donation if they do look at you. Others might feel guilty that they are broke and can't put anything in the little red bucket. I love to see the bell ringer because I always know that it's that time of year. God Bless You for being out there and Happy Holidays.....

Answer 5

I applaud you, what a great association the Salvation Army is. I think people who keep there heads down, are people who do not want to give a donation. If they look at you they will then feel guilty and they will have to give. If only they could understand, that in giving you also receive. Happy Holidays

Answer 6

Yeah you kinda got the concept, staring / making eye contact with a girl doesn't mean the guy likes her. In MY perspective, it can mean three things: 1. The guy is comfortable talking to the girl, and is comfortable with her presence around (just friends). I plenty of friends that are girls and I always make eye contact when I talk to them, it's just casual u kno? 2. The guy wants to meet the girl / is interested in her (acquaintance). Either that, or... the girl is weird-looking or ugly lol. But still, guys wouldn't stare at a girl that long if she's like that. 3. The guy likes the girl. He doesn't know how to express his feelings, but wishes he could find a way to do so. I would tell you straight up how to tell which one of these views does a guy mean when he makes eye contact or stares, but I don't think I can. You should just.. kinda sense it. Good luck, you'll be more familiar with it along the way haha. Hope this helped ;)

Answer 7

B/c they feel guillty about not having any change to give. It's hard to walk into a store to buy something and then not give anything to the bell ringer, I never have change, I live off of my debit card, but I am one of the rare few that will say hi anyway!
Merry Christmas and God Bless you for standing out in the cold for a very worthy cause!

Answer 8

Quite simply because if we lock eyes with them they will see through us and realize we don't want to give any money and are embarassed about it :)

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EDIT: note that someone is in a bad mood and is putting thumbs down on every response to this question.

Thanks for the insight though. I will not avoid eye contact the next time I see a bell ringer. I don't donate to bell ringers because I donate my money to my Rotary Club instead, but I should not be embarassed or ashamed.

Your question made me realize my actions and I will change them.

Answer 9

Maybe they are embarrassed that they do not have any money that jingles or folds handy to donate. I hate to dig into my purse and look for anything extra, as I have dumped my purse out may times and have lost many things including my car keys. Maybe the solution should be to put a buck or two into my jeans pocket to drop in the bucket next time.

Answer 10

I believe it's because people either feel bad about not giving or know they are guilty of being selfish and self-centered. Even if you give the change out of your pocket either going in or coming out....is better than nothing. Every penny counts. And I agree...at least smile and greet the ones who are "donating" their time. Thank you for being one of the great ones who do stand there..in the cold and wet....I admire you!! And yes, I give!! I have had many blessing that have come my way...many times...so I do feel it is better to give...cause it gets given back...some how and some day....some people just don't recognize it when it happens to them.