He said he needed a 'break'&that we could get back together but now he's dating someone else... what do I do?

Question

After a perfect week,almost 10 months together,"I think we should just be good friends.""I still care about you...a lot.I dont want u 2 cry you deserve to be happy!""consider it a break.I just need a break...""I could get back together with you so don't cry..""@#$! I feel horrible cuz I know how sensitive you are!"I beleived his false hope.I found out the day he broke up with me was the day he started going out with someone else.I feel like I held him back&this is my fault.I know I shouldnt feel tht,but I can't help it.It's like I wasn't making him happy&thats all I wanted.He says we're still good friends but now all I get are smiles and waves and 'Hi Nat!'Hes goin so FAST with her&it hurts!We havent actually talked yet,& I need closure but he's avoiding too much contact with me&our friends.Its weird that I still love him&I feel like Im not allowed!AH!I dont want him to think Im tryin to split them cuz hes an amazing person who never wants to intentionally hurt anyone!What do I do now?

Thanks guys for the support and advice!
It's been almost a week since he broke it to me about it. Its difficult seeing them together, and I can tell he's very happy, seeing he's doing stuff with her in DAYS ["i love you", making out etc] that took us weeks or even months to do.Jealousy isn't pretty&I hate it.FALSE HOPE IS STILL HAUNTING ME!=(Everything seems so empty...we were like extremely tight friends all before this and hung out with the same people [we still had our seperate buddy groups though] and I'm so used to seeing him everyday and being his friend and so he never even talks to us except for maybe a wave a hi or a teasing thwap over the head or flick to any one of us who's close enough. AGH its just sooo difficult.. he's being someone he always said he'd never wanna be and like is barely hanging out with his buddies now! If anything...I wonedr ...if he'll ever come back to us as our friend...? its so weird and none of us are used to it...

Thanks again.

Answer 1

I don't think that you will be able to move on until you have closure. I was in a very similar problem with a guy. And all he is doing is keeping you around for a back up, just in case it doesn't work out with the girl that he is with. All he is doing is telling you things that YOU want to her, just to keep you around and that you don't move on.. trust me move on. Start dating other people, and I promise when he sees that you have moved on, he will try to come back in. And once that happens, really sit back and ask yourself do you really want him back, and do you want him to continue to run in and out of your life?

Answer 2

awww that's the exact same thing that i went through. everything is exactly the same even the part when you found out that it was the same day etc etc. well everyone's been saying like move on, he's not worth it etc etc and i know it's easier said than done and no one really understands when you had a boyfriend you really know is really a great person and all your friends say is he's evil and stuff and you just can't see it. and then sometimes you blame yourself. i cried alot then and i cant say that i'm completely over him now but there's definitely an improvement. the thing is, you will slowly heal. try to spend more time with your friends but don't talk about him too much. they'll get tired of hearing it, and you just waste your saliva. as the saying goes "misery loves company" but try your best to think less and less about him. time will eventually heal your hurt. and no, i don't think there is a need for "closure" because it will just cause alot of drama. you'll just go back to zero, and he'll just want to avoid you all the more because of all the drama you'll be talking about. it's also not advisable to be friends. a friend does not mistreat a friend. the fastest way to get over someone is to find someone new. (although its not good to use someone as a rebound and apparently you're too distracted right now to even look, still thinking that he's the best boyfriend in the whole world) (I still think that way lol) but anyways just don't be too hard on yourself. remember that the only person that can really help you is you. update me on how you're doing ok! good luck and God bless! oh, and delete emails, messages or whatever that will just remind you of him.

Answer 3

u need 2 4get about him he is not worth it. You have 2 learn 2 love and let love go!!!. U will find some one that will love and appreciate u. Honey move on he has so y cant u. I know that it is hard 2 do but it is the healthy thing 4 u 2 do.It is his lost not yours . Trust me u will get over this, it will take some time. But u have 2 have some self respect. Go out, hang out with your girls. Try 2 make him something of the past. Think of it this way, y b with someone that wants 2 hurt u. He said space, he didnt say he want 2 date other people. Space period is bounds 4 break-up. 15% out of 100% never really surive the "SPACE ROUTINE" very little get back 2gether and havent been with no one else and just needed a breather, while the rest wanted some free time 2 date and have sex with whoever they wanted 2 and then try 2 come back and it never works because they have had that space and it felt great and they eventually break-up.

So just move on sweeite. I dont know you but I bet you are so much smater than that to let someone hurt you over and over. Let him be with her, he will realize what a great girl he had but it will be 2 late for him 2 say that he messed up.

Answer 4

I think he just tried to let you down easy and that he is a coward for not being totally honest with you. If he is seeing another girl, he has no intention of getting back with you. He may be thinking of you as his "back up plan" in case things don't work out with the new girl. His dishonesty to you does not classify him as an 'amazing person.' I think he owes you an explanation, and as you said, some closure. You could call him and tell him that you understand that it is over, but that you would like to meet him one more time to talk about the break-up so you can get some closure and move on with your life.

Answer 5

Ya move on. Learn the lesson...when someone says they need "a break" that is, more often than not, a break-up.

Stop the drama of "I held him back" yada yada yada...you held back nothing...he's a big boy (old enough to date anyway) and he made the move he wanted to make...you're not responsible for his choices...just your own...you cannot "make" anyone happy (that's up to them to do).

It's normal to be unhappy when a breakup occurs, but (cliche' as it sounds) Life Goes On. Don't waste a lot of time crying over someone who obviously didn't want to be with you...this life is too short to spend too much of it being upset over what we don't have or what we lost.

Look forward to what the future holds...now you know a little more about relationships and how people have a hard time being up front and honest...he had no intention of getting back with you when he took his "break", he just didn't have the balls to tell you it was over. That's not a kewl person, that's a coward.

You've got better things ahead, on your own or with someone else...move forward toward those things and leave unfortunate events of the past behind.

Good luck!

Answer 6

He's an amazing person? He never wants to intentionally hurt anyone? Ok. It may seem that way on the inside looking out. But, here's what it looks like from the outside looking in. He decided he wanted to be with someone else. Like many guys, he didn't want to have to deal with all the drama of the breakup, so he cushioned it by making it sound temporary and harmless, as if that would actually make it hurt less. He didn't want to have to witness the tears. He wanted the reality of it all sinking in to happen after he was out of earshot and safely ensconced in the arms of his newest target. It's crappy, but it's true. You need closure? You can have your closure conversation all by yourself by talking to his photo, right before you burn it in effigy. You look at his darling little 8x10 face and you tell him, "You are a dog. You wiggled your way out of this, masquerading as "nice" when what you really are is a less-than-honest coward. I am smart, pretty, devoted, (you can go on as long as you like with these adjectives ... you deserve them all) and I deserve better than you. I deserve truth, honesty and dedication." If you aren't ready to say this yet today, trust me, you will be after the initial shock and awe wears off. He did you wrong. Move on to something better.

Answer 7

like Ushers' song says "LET IT BURN!" It's obvious that this guy isn't feeling u the way u want him to & must be really digging the new chick. u know how it is when u r with someone new, it's amazing at first. just try to spend alot of time with ur friends & keep ur mind off of him. for now his head is in the clouds. focus on u & u only, not u & him. not easy but not impossible either. he has the right to date who he wants & at least he didnt cheat on u. it's better this way so he can have a clear conscience. he may come back but dont dwell on it. gotta be a realist. hope for the best but prepare for the worse!

Answer 8

who cares what you do to him go on with your life he doesnt want you and if you two do get back together its just gonna be cause she dumped him and then he will do the same thing to you again when he finds someone else again just move on i know i sound like i am being mean and hateful but there is no other way of putting it i am sorry for your loss and all but you need to move on

Answer 9

I believe that was his nice way of saying he's done with you. Actions speak louder than words. He may or may not get back with you, in the meantime go about your business and if you end up getting back together, you'll either be pleasantly surprised or have found someone else!

Answer 10

Face it. He wanted to let u off easy. He cares but not in a love relashionship way. He gone. Serves him right, too. He knows what he did. Leave him be. Say hi. Find someone else u dserve better.