I tried to exlplain our financial situation to them. We just moved back from out of state, we bought a new home and I have not yet found a job. We are barely getting by as it is. We are lucky to put food on the table, and they know this.
I came up with the idea of pulling names from a hat and they wouldn't. I came up with the idea to do something together as a family rather than gift exchanging. They thought it was a good idea in ADDITION to gift exchanging.
We literally have no money and are completely up front. Yet, they stand firm on this. My husband's sister made it clear that she expects us to purchase gifts for her 2 kids. She resommended that we put it on credit. I don't prefer to go into debt over a holiday. x-mas is not about gifts.
We have agreed that we will spend x-mas alone at our home if they will not come to an agreement with us. They are upset with us about our decision. What else can we do to help them understand and work on a compromise with us?
2006-12-01 02:57:37 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We moved back here when my husband found a new job, in order to be closer to family. I am still searching for employment. We have always been a 2 income household. Therefore, always had extra cash flow. Without my salary, we have nothing left over.
They see us living in a new home and assume we are lying about our financial status.
I have already spoke with my family and we have agreed that we would not have a gift exchange together. They understand about our financial situation and agree that it is not what x-mas is about.
I do not wish to go into debt to provide unnecessary gifts. I am becoming increasingly upset and don't know what else to do.
2006-12-01 03:03:33 · update #1
"kali" Hit the nail on the head.... YOUR husband needs to tell HIS family where the bears craps in the woods. If you do not have the money then YOU WILL NOT be taking part in the gift exchanging PERIOD !!
How rude of the family to not understand or accommodate you !! They can still exchange, they simply can leave you out of it and you will understand since you are making a new start so to speak and trying to get by till you get a job.
THE HUSBAND needs to rise to the occasion NOW !!
In the mean time, YOU keep a positive attitude, save $, make your house payments and cook frugally! You can do it !! *highfive*
2006-12-01 03:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a sticky situation. Money has broken up families and friends. You didn't explain alot in details. Does he repay you? How long does it take for him to repay or ask for more money? If it's a constant think, and you know the money isn't being spent wisely, than don't give it. If he's Truly a good friend and you understand the situation in which he needs money. Than let him know that until he repays you back you will not lend out more. Make it into a contract. Maybe also start mentioning that you are short on money..that way he might not think of you for any help. Only you know his ways, plus if hes a close friend you should be able to talk to him about it. good luck,tc
2016-05-23 07:45:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The PRICE of a present...Christmas is all about love and family....and it is a magical time for children! You mentioned TWO children... (your s-i-l's) You can buy TWO gifts with out charging or going into debt... there are many things under $5.00 for boys and girls...or you could make them something yummy...it is not about money....it is a token... and yes...it truly is the THOUGHT that counts... It is a shame for you to be stressing out over the fianances...explain (one more time!) that with the moving and loss of one income...that you cannot spend a lot on christmas....and that Christmas is not about spending...it is about LOVE and FAMILY and SHARING of YOURSELVES!!!
The children will enjoy EVERY gift...no matter if it is from the DOLLAR TREE (or EVERYTHING's a DOLLAR) their fun is in opening gifts...they are the ONLY ones that I would EVEN consider buying for...and ONLY the amount that you and your husband decides upon! that you can comfortably afford!!! If this is NOT acceptable...then HIS family is very shallow and materialistic...and you would be better off spending the time ALONE together...in your new home...looking forward to a NEW year...filled with hope and new dreams...for your future!!! Good luck!!! It is always a hard decision when it comes to "in laws"...but the bottom line is how YOU and YOUR husband feel...united as one!!!!
2006-12-01 03:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by photogram1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tina, I'm feeling for you girl. This is total bunk from your Fam.
I agree with your decision to spend Christmas just the 2 of you.
If your family, of ALL people, doesn't understand your financial situation, then they deserve to miss you on Christmas. You should absolutely not have to go into debt just because of Christmas.
If you're really adimant about working this out with them, go to the dollar store and try to find small gifts for each of them. At least it'd be something. OK, it's not a game for an X box, but it's wrapped up and you thought enough to get it for them, even in your financial crunch.
Some stores have sales as well...like Old Navy...you can buy Hats/Scarves/Gloves - 2 for $10.
I hope everything works out!!
2006-12-01 03:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by Miz D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to get them to understand your position If she wants two gifts for her children she should probably go out and buy them as far as everything else is concerned you are making the best decision for your family and they don't have to like it they will accept it or they will accept the fact that you are not there with them. You are not being unreasonable or doing the wrong thing you do not have it and even if you did it is yours to spend as you wish no one has the right to try and force you to do something like that if they really are willing to destroy your relationship over this then so be it. The Simple fact is there position is petty to expect a gift the definition of gift is that it is undeserved and this is rediculous if they can not understand then spend Christmas at home in love with one another.
2006-12-01 03:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by t_j_watkins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy!!!! And selfish!!! This is mine and my husband's first Christmas together and we can't afford to buy EVERYONE something. When my uncle was in debt, but really wanted to do something for everyone, he just made a batch of cookies and divided them up in little tins or you could just wrap 2 in colorful seran wrap and tie a bow around it. To me that's a great gift and that's probably what we'll end up doing. If they still don't appreciate your gesture spend at home as a family...... I definitely would!! That's ridiculous to act that way especially when presents are not what Christmas is all about anyway!!! Whatever you do Have a very Merry Christmas!!! :)
2006-12-01 03:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by babiangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok..... try this one.
We would love to buy you all the best ...... but the check book is dead...and without a new job....well cash is short .... But if you buy your kids a gift each for us ... I know it will be the right size & color ....I'll be sure to pay ya back after we get the money issues in shape. Be sure to set a cash limit!
This way the kids get a gift from you both ... your not out the cash ...and it all works.....
Or ... The old "IOU" one gift coupon.......
Some folks just don't know how to settle .... they don't wanna meet ya half way.......If they still insist ...then insist on not going ... because the gift pushing idea make you uncomfortable !
Stick to your guns!
You can only bend so far .........unless your a chineese acrobat !
2006-12-01 03:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything you can make is more thoughtful at Christmas, then any purchased gift! Bake, go to Antique Stores,look thru your own things, you don't have to go into debt to participate. Now you show your in-laws your ingenuity! Give them ALL Christmas Cards, inside the cards you give them an appropriate I.O.U., example: your mother-in-law - 1-day of housework!!LOL 2: I.O.U. one Movie of your choice! and on and on - Good Luck, and Merry Christmas - Now phone them and apologize! tell them that you and your husband will be there, that you found a solution to our dilemma! OK - if you don't do this, Christmas will NEVER be the Same Again. Please - remember for every ACTION there is a REACTION - you will never know when - so go - have a Merry Christmas, and all will work out, I feel it!!
2006-12-01 03:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not required to give a gift, nor are you required to stay home,,,, if you feel more comfortable staying home, then do so,
if you wish to take a gift, it doesnt have to be a purchased one,,,,, make sugar cookies, or candy for the children,
most families, as they grow , and the brothers and sisters start having children and grow up responsibilities, do either draw names from a hat, limit gift giving to only the children, keep gifts more novelty (cheap) or do any combination of all of them.
i personally would bake sugar cookies for any children,,, place them in bags you can decorate ,,, or go to a dollar store and get the small ones for 5 for a dollar, if you can afford it,, take along a few tubes of icing, let them decorate them, or if you can find small tubes, put one in each bag,,,,
another idea is a little gift bag filled with dollar store items, bubbles, playdoh miniatures, couple peices of candy, etc, like you would a bag for a childrens birthday party.
forget about gifts for the grown ups!
to me, christmas is about love, and peace, and all the children, and the children will like anything you give! except underwear, lol
2006-12-01 03:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by dlin333 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah the greed of the season! This is where people forget what Christmas is all about - Christ,the love of family and friends, respect, kindness and giving! You deserve to have a fun and loving Christmas and if you have to be alone with your honey to do that then go right ahead and do it. Merry Christmas - don't let them ruin your holiday or stress you out. They are acting like greedy, selfish spoiled children and they don't deserve gifts even if you could afford to get them!!
2006-12-01 03:02:08 · answer #10 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋