There was the doctor who was prosecuted for having sex with one of his patients. It wasn't that she was underage or anything like that ... it's just that he's a vet ...
2006-12-01 02:57:10 · 8 answers · asked by drrwalker2003 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A young boy takes his Saint Bernard to the vets for a check up. the vet prods and pokes the dog, 'umm's and 'aah's, then picks it up by the ears. After a few seconds the vet says "It's no good, I'm going to have to put him down". "Why?" the boy wails. The vet replies "Because he's heavy".
2006-12-01 03:09:32 · answer #1 · answered by EvilEdd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said “I’m so sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”
The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m quite sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.
“How can you be so sure,” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something?”
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, returning a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paw son the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. The dog then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, returning a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on to the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill that he handed to the woman. The duck’s owner, still in shock looked at the bill.
“£150!”, she cried. “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?”
The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you’d taken my word for it, the bill would have £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan it’s now £150”.xxx
2006-12-01 17:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by stiflersmom29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this better get the voted the best answer! A boy and his father are driving to the vets office to take in their prize lamb. They get to the office and the vet askes, "what seems to be the problem with fine animal?" The father answers, "weel he just seems to be acting strange around every time we go out to the barn to see him." The little boy begins to sob, "doctor can you please help my poor sheep? We have been through so much together, i have raised him since he was only a few days old."
The vet reasures the boy," don't worry son i have a machine in the back and if i put your sheep on it he will be able to tell me everything that has been going on with him." The vet leave the room with the sheep, and boy sits quitely staring at the floor. the boy looks at his father and says i think that we should leave now. I know that sheep and i know as soon as its just him and the doctor back there he gonna tell him all kinds of lies about me."
2006-12-01 11:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by cutthroat_mako 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A man walks into the vets with his pet budgie saying it is ill, the vet says 'sorry there is nothing that I can do for him' the man is not happy he asks for a 2nd opinion, the vet walks out and his partner come in with a cat the cat looks at the budgie and shakes his head, the vet then brings in a dog and the dog looks at the budgie and also shakes his head. so the 2nd vet say's 'I'm sorry there is nothing we can do for him' as the man leaves the vet give him a bill for £2000 the man asks 'why is the bill so high?'
the vet replies 'well you had 2 opinions then a cat scan and a lab report.'
2006-12-01 11:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by Cruz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Doolittle asks the pony have you a sore throat ,no says the pony ,just feeling a little hoarse. next patient a puppy he asks . how you feeling .? answers, rough!
2006-12-01 11:38:21 · answer #5 · answered by jinx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of basict instict. This must be animal instinct
2006-12-01 17:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats why you gotta go in the room with your pet! jeeze!
2006-12-01 11:06:06 · answer #7 · answered by heaven-sin-t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
zzzzzz.zzzzzzzzzz.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.z.z.zzzzzzzzzzzz*wake* mother is it the end off the world!
2006-12-01 11:10:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋