How come i want nothing to do with my family for the time being?

Question

Before you judge me, know that i love everyone in my immediate and extended family.
But i have found out that my family has lied to me so many times and everything.....and i really want nothing to do with them now.
Im from Atlanta, Georgia. Grew up poor all of my life, especially childhood. People got shot almost everyday where i grew up....My father is on drugs. My mother isnt a drug addict but she is starting to get dependant on her mediacation (methadone)
Because i feared that i would only get into trouble living in the neighborhood i did in Atlanta, i moved to New Orleans a year ago, now staying with my aunt and uncle and her spoiled 31 year old daughter who stays with them still and has 3 kids. Its very racist here.
They really dont help me either but i dont expect them to. i hunted for a job for 2 months on just a bike. Now im saving up money for college. My sister never calls (she's 33. my bro is kool though.) No one seems to really care. So why should i be around them now?

i dont know if any of you out there can relate to my life....im 19 years old (will be 20 in feb.) i want to go to college in a place away from family and have my own place. Ive been in New Orleans about a year and i bought this laptop with money i scraped up to assist me in college. I dont want live in Atlanta cause there is nothing there for me now but drugs and trouble. i will apply to colleges in florida maybe. thanks for taking the time to read this.

Answer 1

I am sorry; it hurts a lot to feel like one's family doesn't care, but it sounds like, from your description, your family is just as stressed out over life as you are.

I am sorry that environment is so racist. That really is unfair and causes a lot more damage than many people realize. I wish I could tell you of a perfect place in the world where there is no pain, no sadness, no hurting, no suffering. But I don't know of one.

I know the feeling of needing to get away from the patterns of behavior that lead to sadness, frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. I had to move away from my family for a while, too, when I was younger so that I could develop my own sense of self and gain a little control over my own life and my own decisions. I never abandoned my family, just moved away for a while.

Now that I am married with my own family, have a job that I feel good about, and have put a little emotional distance between myself and my natal family, I have a much better relationship with them. The stresses are still there, and sometimes we still get into arguments or feel badly, but I don't need to be away from them in the same way I had before. Now I want to see them more often because I am happier with my life. I can also understand their stresses better because I don't have to hear about them or be involved with them every day like I once did. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

When you realise that you want to be different than what you are, and you know that your family won't do anything to help you get there, EVEN THOUGH YOU STILL LOVE THEM, you sometimes have to make the big choice to break away. It's hard now, but it sounds like you are doing the best thing you can for yourself, and them! You never know, maybe down the road, your family will realise the success you've made for yourself, and they'll want to do better for themselves too! It's hard now, but I think that following your dreams and your heart will verry rarely (if ever) lead you the wrong way! It is hard now, but it'll get easier! Good luck on getting into college. I think you'll do awesome, You already have what it takes!

Answer 3

The one thing I've learned in life....is that family and friends will disappoint you the most!!! Let that be said....you only have yourself to please and help. I feel your pain. It seems that the only way to better yourself and circumstances is to get away from your family so, you have more of a positive environment around you. People that bring negativity will also bring you down with them That is great that you want to go to college. I will give some advice...on college....major in a specialty...like computers or nursing. You will get further and a lot fastest in the career feild once you've finished college. For the financial part....look into financial aid...please stay away from PRIVATE LOANS!! Try your best to get grants funded through the government also. If you don't have the internet connection on your laptop...go to your local library. Once you get started with school and your stable with your life....I think you will be happy. Always stay positive and you can always count of yourself to help you in life. I wish you the best of luck with everything you do. I commend you in all what your accomplishing. Don't let family and friends bring you down.

Answer 4

In dysfunctional families, its sometimes hard to be a productive person with all the drama and divas trying to muck up their lives and taking a break from a dysfunctional family to grow is not only wise beyond your years, but makes you an exception kid that any sane parents would be jumping up and down to have parented. Unfortunately, because your family is so caught up in their own junk, they cannot or will not relate, because of their own shortcomings. I think you sound like a really special kid who deserves to have a good life. Keep on keeping on my dear, I see great things for you in your future. Don't feel bad about taking "growing breaks" from your family. If you love them and they don't love themselves or you enough to help, thats okay, tomorrow is another day. Do what you can to break the chains of drug addictions, the chains of poverty and of dimished expectation. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Hi Hun,

sounds to me like you just need a good shouler to cry on!!! I am 23, but have been through allot in my life & can relate in other ways! It really does get better, you just have to want it too! Don't lose that hope or you will have nothing! Kepp your head up, plug away, work, go to college & eventually, all of the pieces will fit right into place & you will look back & be so proud of where you came from & how you got to where you are.....Really, keep the head up, life has so much to offer, you just have to work for it doll!

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 6

You should move to Washington and go to the UW...its such a nice school and Seattle is such a versatile place. There is no racism up here :) Also, about your family...sometimes when you have been burned in the past, its hard to trust again. I go through spurts where I want nothing to do with my family too, its just because you are "fed" up with everything right now....give yourself some time to cool off and don't feel guilty about it..

Answer 7

a touch muddle wont kill each person. You had to spend some high quality time such as your children, and that became a really large determination! aspects, it makes your position comfortable. I in various of circumstances experience uncomfortable when I enter a house it truly is large sparkling, because i believe like i will mess it up. If it appears that evidently lived in, i will loosen up and purely delight in being with the human beings i respect.

Answer 8

I understand how you feel about your family. But remember to forgive and go on with your life. Don't cut them out completely because they are family no matter how rough they are.
Life have a way of putting us in situations that makes us break out of a cycle of destruction. You're going through because it's time for you to make your move. Enough of living poverty and below your means. Man, go to school by any means necessary, and see yourself as the next black billionaire.

Answer 9

You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family, which is a shame. I was difigured in a housefire and now my father does not want anything to do with me, but he has always been an a**hole. So just let it go. If you are feeling some guilt, hang with them during the holidays and that's it. Guilt means at least you you still love them.

Answer 10

Good luck in all you do - Stay away from the family and drugs, and keep looking forward. You sound like a very motivated person.
God Bless!