Interpret the commandment "Honor thy father and thy mother"?

Question

What does it really mean to honor one's parents IF:

1. Parents do not provide for more than food, clothing, and shelter?
2. Parents provide for physical needs but verbally abuse?
3. Parents do not realize/realize but deny they psychologically manipulate and abuse?
4. Parents call children wicked/"bad" for questioning their motives or actions?


Based on the supposition that humans are humans and we all make mistakes and sin, what the heck does the commandment mean? Thanks in advance to Christians and non-chrisitians alike who reply.

Answer 1

Some people have already hit it on the head. This is the kind of primitive prescription one expects in tribal societies. It cannot translate into a "commandment" for a culture that values children - at least not as stated.

It would certainly be the lowest ingratitude not to honor nurturing parents. However, it is absolutely counter-productive to grant such privileges to abusive parents. Under certain conditions it behooves a child, or anyone else conscious of the situation, to seek protection for the child FROM the parents.

And to the person who says, "..after all, they made you..," that has nothing to do with it. A child doesn't get a choice in these things.

Answer 2

The trick is that the 10 commands are written as absolutes. If you look in the bible, those absolutes are exempted all the time. The court official says, "O King, may you live forever!" It is transparently obvious that the King and the courtier both know the King won't live forever. The words are a figure of speech. A hyperbole, if you will. Some other examples: "Don't kill." But if someone does X, you have to kill them. "Don't make any graven image," but when you make the Ark of the Covenant, there are images you should put on it. "Honor your parents," but if they show you that they no longer deserve that respect, then you are exempted from the command. If you read the bible carefully, almost every one of the commands has some exception. Remember: the writings of the bible are simple, basic ideas. If they tried to write out all the exemptions and exceptions, the document would be far larger than it is.

Answer 3

It means to show them honor. for example, one should not sit in a chair that a parent usually occupies unless specifically permitted to by the parent. One should not ridicule their parents in public or even in private. One should fulfill any reasonable request from their parents.

That said, if a parent is abusive, one is not obligated to remain in the presence of that parent to receive the abuse.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the greatest honor a child can bestow on their parents is to care for them when they are old an infirmed and to ensure a proper burial when that time comes.

Answer 4

The bible does say we are to honor our Parents, BUT, it also says to Parents, do not bring their children to wrath, the Parent is suppose to do their part, especially when the child is growing up and it's a crucial time in the child's life to have Parents who are nurturing and loving, as opposed to abusive Parents.

Pray that God will help you in this area, it's tough and from what you've said above, those are not Godly Parents.

Until someone walks in your shoes, they can't judge you.

Answer 5

As a Christain we are called to Honor them. In doing so, we honor God. This is a law that helps us to understand the treatment to others.

If we rebel against our parents then we have no understanding of authority. More than likely we are creating a "stronghold" in our lives were we will not honor any authority. Police, Judges, Goverment leaders, Bosses, etc. Untimatley it can lead to not understanding the authority of God the Father.

A father who does care. A father whose cares deeply for all of us.

In our "questioning" your parents are you asking to prove your point or are you TRYING to understand why. If you are trying to understand, go to them in a humber manner and telling them, I want to understand why.

If you do not honor your parents...you are planting seeds later on in your life. Will your future children honor you????

Answer 6

I like all the comments mentioned above. They seem to cover various areas in honoring the father and the mother of our families. However, I didn't see anything mentioned concerning lifestyle. Remember you must be respectful in your lifestyle also. As a Christian you must be nice to those who intend to be cruel. This is not easy. Yet this must be the lifestyle to everybody nice people as well as cruel. To be otherwise, in my opinion, is to show disrespect to the law, leaders of government, parents, the commandments, and to God who gave the commandment. To offend in one point is to break them all. Then there goes LOVE for God and love to man.

Answer 7

A parent is the person who gives birth to you. A father and a mother are the people who raise you. You should have respect for both your parents and your father and mother but you should honor those who raised you. Always remember your parents brought you into this world, that in itself is reason to honor them.

Answer 8

One spiritual source said to stop looking at the bad our parents did, and
look for something positive that they did.
My Mother made sure I had my spiritual training. Parochial schooling,
and church. So I grew up to have character. Loyalty, and integrity. Not
betraying other people confidences, telling everything I hear!
My Father bought all kinds of Encyclopedias and Books of Knowledge,
to expand my awareness, and taught be to think for myself!

Answer 9

To honor and respect your parents as you would God, and to do as they ask without complaint. So often people just want to complain about what is going on in their lives, however by submitting to our elders we might just learn something at times it may be later than sooner, however the outcome is the same.

Answer 10

We have to add to it. Jesus said

God must come before your Mother, Father, Son and Daughter.

So, we have two extremes.

Jesus also said when asked to rake the leaves in the front yard, also do the back yard and take out the trash and do the dishes.

Jesus said you have to love your enemy the most. He didn't say you had to like them, just love them.

It's not easy being a Christian.