My mom is a Jehovah's Witness. I have practiced the religion too. About four years ago I got reinstated after being disfellowshipped for six years. Now almost a year ago I quit attending the services and associating with the congregation. I haven't done anything to get disfellowshipped again but I just don't want to be that religion anymore. I don't think it's for me. I have free will. My problem is my two little boys are going to be 4 and 3 and I really want to attend the birthday party their dad is having for them but I don't want to disappoint or hurt my mom's feelings. She brought me up as JW so I know what she believes and what she expects me to believe. But I haven't been doing anything with that religion for almost a year. I want to celebrate all the holidays with my husband and the boys. How can I get over hurting my mom? Should I be happy or should my mom. I don't want my relationship with my mom to go to pot again. I've been there before and it was horrible.
2006-12-01 02:14:11 · 24 answers · asked by Mom of Three 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
HOLY CRAP!!!! I can't believe how holier than thou some JW's can be. The religion touts free will, but if someone deviates and wants to use it than you get holy hell. Remember, you aren't the judge. It's my decision and I know the "supposed" consequences. P.S. Praying is out of the question.
2006-12-01 02:35:29 · update #1
I understand exactly how you feel. My whole life I was brought up as a Witness and when I turned 18, I quit going. I told the elders that I wanted to smoke cigarettes and have tattoos. Then I wanted to celebrate my birthday and christmas but there was a problem...my mom because she is a Witness.
I think you have to do what is best for you. If you want to celebrate the holidays with your husband and you want your children to have birthday parties then you should do that. That's your choice. Your mom doesn't have to stop talking to you. It's her choice to.
I think by you not doing anything with the religion has probably already hurt your mom. Sometimes as selfish as it sounds you have to do what is best for you and your family. I don't know your mom but maybe with time she will get over it like mine did.
There is really no right or wrong answer. You need to do what is best for you. You can't live the rest of your life doing exactly what Witnesses expect you to if you don't want to do it anymore.
I know it's hard but you will do the right thing for yourself.
2006-12-01 22:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋
Seems like you are looking for the impossible. Freedom to do what you want with no consequences. Everything has consequences. You must decide what is more important. Doing what your mother, and to some extant, you feel is right and avoiding B-days. or Doing what you know your mother will not like but that you seem to feel is important. I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Not all my decisions have been great over the years, and even those that were fine were not necessarily what my parents wanted. I had to make the decision. You are in the same boat. You know why your mom feels the way she does. You know why your husband feels the way he does. Both of them are acting accordingly. You need to decide what you want. To serve Jehovah or not. It is your choice. Hope this helped.
PS Sorry if offers of suggesting prayer or the reading the Bible bothered you. You know that the answers to what Jehovah wants are in the bible, more than likely that is the only reason it was suggested.
PPSS In answer to the person who said we treat our family worse than our enemies dogs. First off I love the wording. Secondly, neither of my brothers are Witnesses and I still love them and treat them well.
2006-12-01 04:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear about the conflict that is going on inside you. You must know that you are not going to get good counsel from the people on this forum. It is evident by the advice they are giving to you. The best thing you can do is voice your concerns to Jehovah in prayer and review in the publications why we view things differently from others. It would also be good if you could talk to your local elders. They are in the best position to help you. You should do that as soon as possible. It's not just your life that is involved; your children are involved too.
2006-12-01 02:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by LineDancer 7 · 6⤊ 2⤋
An important part of being human is being true to yourself and not living for others. It was your mothers choice to join a manipulative high control religion, it has been your choice to see through that and move on. You will never be happy trying to live for your mother, so it is better to think about your welfare and that of your children.
You will never make your mother happy as you are not a JW. In the last 10 years over 1 million people have seen through the Watchtower teachings and left and the Watchtower Society has created tremendous trouble for these people by sanctioning how they can interact with their own families. It is terrible to be looked down on by your own parents but their is little you can do about it if she chooses to have her thinking abililty controlled.
I recommend that you do research into the religion so that you are firmly convinced that it is false and can show your mother that you have made an intelligent decision to leave.
2006-12-01 13:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
Well, I think that the real question here is not about hurting your mom as much as it is hurting you and Jehovah. You know that you can't slave for two masters. You have to make the choice for yourself...either the world (this system of things...very temporary) or Jehovah and the new system of things...(life everlasting). You can't make this choice because you don't want to hurt someone. Jehovah knows your heart and if your heart isn't with him, then why would you go on pretending it is. YOU have to make the choice to serve Jehovah whole souled, or this world, who we know is lying in the power of the wicked one (1 John 5:19). I know that it is very hard when your mate and your children aren't with you in your beliefs, but really what greater gift can you give them than the gift of the possibility of eternal life. Birthdays will be gone soon, but he who does the will of God will remain forever. You will certainly be giving up a lot if you choose celebrating worldly things above serving Jehovah. Just really think it through before you decide to give up that opportunity for eternal life not only for yourself, but your children as well. You are an adult though and the choice is only yours to make. I would just suggest that you really think it through and pray about it. Remember, the heart is a treacherous thing and sometimes going with our feelings can deceive us. I hope you choose wisely...forever is a long time and there will be many many joys in the new system! May Jehovah be with you!
2006-12-01 02:31:06 · answer #5 · answered by wannaknow 5 · 8⤊ 3⤋
I don't think that the birthday or hoiliday situation is the real problem. If we look a little deeper, perhaps we will find that a close relationship with God is not there. When that is so, the Bible's restrictions on keeping ourselves free from pagan practices seems silly and meaningless. In fact, it just becomes a bunch of cumbersome rules.
The real objective is to be in tune with Jehovah by seeing the big picture. He has the right to tell us how he wants to be worshipped.
Although He offered Adam and Eve everlasting life in happiness if they would pass a simple test of obedience, they abused the gift of free will, they rejected him, basically saying by their actions "We don't need Him to tell us what to do. We will decide for ourselves what is good and what is bad" and today we would likely use the terms "what is right and what is wrong." They didn't want God or anyone else to set the standard for THEM, but rather wanted to be independent of cumbersome rules. Satan actually fooled the woman into thinking that He was withholding something good from them. Is it possible that you may be feeling much the same way? That Almighty God Jehovah is keeping us from the "joy" of certain celebrations and that He is wrong for having such "rules"?
Please do not become offended and turn away from what I'm saying. I want you to really think this over objectively and be completely honest deep inside the privacy of your own mind and heart.
Sometimes we look at what Adam and Eve did and think 'whoa, if I'd been there, I would've NEVER chosen as they did.' But are we aware that we, ALL OF US, the whole of the human family, are facing the same test? The question is the same: Are we going to let Almighty God tell us what to do?..how we must worship Him?..what is right and what is wrong?..or are we going to, in effect, send the same message to him as our first parents: 'Don't tell ME what to do! I'll decide for myself"! You see, dear one, that is what has happened from Eden down to now. Humans don't want God setting the standards for them. By default, then, they have come under the influence of ANOTHER powerful spirit creature, Satan, who as Rev. 12:9 says, is misleading the entire inhabited earth. And by the way, after thousands of yrs from becoming independent from God in Eden, how are we doing as a human family? Are we ruling ourselves well and treating this planet with appreciation? The disasterous record speaks for itself.
I know you are seeking some sort of permission here to do as you please and you will certainly receive it on this site. But, I'm asking you to step away from the birthday controversy for the moment and ask yourself if you see what I'm saying to you. Do you see that our feet stand in the same shoes as our first parents, Adam and Eve? Will we get to know personally the One who supplies us with all good things? Will we WANT Him to tell us what to do, trusting that it is loving and in our long-term best interest?
You said "praying is our of the question." That says a lot. If we have a good, trusted friend we naturally desire to communicate with them. Please, get to know Jehovah personally by an indepth study of the Bible. Look up EVERY Scripture as you go thru the "Teach" publication (you know which one that is). And by all means, ask Jehovah to help you to become close to him. Then, all the rest of these things (like certain celebrations) will all fall into place on their own.
I wish and hope the very best for you.
2006-12-01 03:38:03 · answer #6 · answered by greg_airious 2 · 6⤊ 2⤋
Religion is a very personal thing between you and the God you serve. If JW is not for you, than you are doing a disservice to the religion by remaining in it. I know how uncomfortable it can be to have hostility between you and your mom, but you have your own family to think about now. Explain your feelings to your mom, pray for her, and go to your kids' party.
2006-12-01 02:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by clifsdi 2 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Let your mother know that you are a grown woman and to respect your decisions. Even if she doesnt agree with it. I was raised Catholic and if my children decide one day that the Catholic religion is not for them then I would accept and respect their decision. You need to find your own path in life and not necessarily the one that has been already set for you. Good Luck and God Bless
2006-12-01 02:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
You are entiled to your own spiritual beliefs. You are a mother raising two boys and you need to stand up for what you want for them and how you raise them is your business and you should not worry every time you want to celebrate a birthday. God wants us to celebrate and enjoy the life he has given us. God is a happy loving God. You do have free will given to you by God and he wants us to use it as long as we don't abuse it, but even then he loves us. Go celebrate with your kids and stop worrying about upsetting your mother. If she is a Godly women she will get over it and still love you without judgment.
2006-12-01 02:39:19 · answer #9 · answered by Maizy * 3 · 3⤊ 4⤋
You are being bound by a complete lie. There is nothing wrong with celebrating a birthday. These doctrines are from the devil.
Being Good is impossible in the eyes of a perfect God. Nobody is able to keep the commandments as the way God tells us to. God goes beyond the physical and is even concerned with our thoughts. While you might be considered a wonderful person in the eyes of man, it is not good enough when you face a infinitely power God, who will not allow sinners into heaven. The fact is Jesus is God in the flesh and he died in rose again. Christians hope is in Jesus, because they know he was perfect and they trust that taking on his spirit will give them the boldness to stand in front of God without fear. 144,000 refers to the house of Israel in the end times. The amount of people saved will be far greater than that. Here is scientific evidence that the Christianity is the only true religion
http://www.cosmicfingerprints.com/audio/newevidence.htm
Go to the birthday party. Don't be bound by those foolish laws.
2006-12-01 02:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by ۞ JønaŦhan ۞ 7 · 2⤊ 7⤋