My boyfriend is years older thatn me and I am still in college and just turned 22 years old he has been out of college for some years now and he is worried that I will cheat on him is he insecure about our relationship? If so what should I do to help him feel better about our relationship so that he won't hate me or hate any of my friends that are guys? I have a lot of them because I get along better with guys. Some of them I have known since we were little babies should he have a reason to worry or is he just being paranoid?
2006-12-01 02:06:59 · 14 answers · asked by Babygurl Alex!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A guy who is possessive and makes you question your other friendships isn't worth having. He's control freak, his insecurity is HIS problem, not yours.
2006-12-01 02:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is an issue that probably will never go away. Especially sincce he will only be getting older and let's face it he won't be getting any better looking whereas you're life is just beginning and you will only be better more and more beautiful. You will get out of college and will be in the real world and will meet people and be attractive to some and he is worried about that. You can only do so much to make him feel secure about your relationship the rest is on him. Just remember - it's not your problen HE is insecure and don't let him tell you otherwise.
2006-12-01 10:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear. You ask is he insecure about the relatioonship yet you answered that question yourself. You then ask if he should worry or is he just paranoid and only you can answer that question.
From experience, I was married for nearly nine years to a man 16 years older than me. I married him when I was 20. I, like you, had many close platonic male friends. My husband was also very insecure and felt very threatened by the friendships I had with these guys. Very early in the relationship the acccusations began. I, like you, thought I could prove my faithfulness and commitment. Please know you can't. His doubts are not your fault or a product of your behavior. If a simple adult conversation about trust and respect does not resolve this issue for you, you should consider if you want to spend the rest of your life having to prove yourself and watch your male friends be pushed away one at a time.
It took nine years for me to accept I couldn't prove myself. Finally, I was tired of the doubt and accusations. I walked away. You know yourself better than anyone. If you are truly committed to your boyfriend and your male friends are just that, it is his problem to resolve, not yours.
Good Luck
2006-12-01 10:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by lj8179 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help people with insecurities of their own. You can ask him what you can do to help him feel more secure, but be aware his answer is most likely going to be "don't see other guys". I would sit down and explain this is who I was when we met, I feel good about us but I can't change who i am and see how it flies. Generally, most men who are insure are also power hungry and its the loss of power and control that makes then insecure. Just play it by ear, you are very young yet and should not have to deal with these issues
2006-12-01 10:11:59 · answer #4 · answered by Lorinyct 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He obviously sees the age issue as a reason to feel insecure. There is not much you can do to help him feel better just let time show him that you plan on just dating him.
2006-12-01 10:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems like he is insecure with the age difference. Make assurance he is the one you truly love and that you will be always be faithful.
2006-12-01 10:11:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cannot change your life-long friends,if he can't or won't understand that;he has an insecurity problem.if your words are not enough to prove that you love him then it not to be,the reason i say this is because he'll never fully trust u.and that will destroy your relationship...
2006-12-01 10:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by MOTORIOUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes just parinoid, the only way really is to reassure your boyfriend and show him your not cheating, like sometimes maybe invite him to come along when you go have fun with your friends, you shouldnt have to stop hangin around them just cause your in a relationship and he is parinoid
2006-12-01 10:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
age isnt very important - the thinking levels - maturity diplayed and interests must match. But despite all fo this, if he doesnt trust you - its not worth the trouble..
2006-12-01 10:09:20 · answer #9 · answered by cerebral_orgasm 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
invite him to have 3somes with you and your girlfriends. He'll stop caring about what you do on the side REAL fast!
2006-12-01 10:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by toronto_guy77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋