I am currently dating my girlfirend who has an 8 year old daughter. We have been together for over a year. and living with each other for about 6 months. The problem i am having is my girlfirend will never discipline her daughter. and she is too stubborn to let me do anything about it. in her mind her child is the greates thing in the world and can never do anything wrong. it is a very sensitive issue with her cause she claims she never wants to hear it. but her daughter is a 8 year old brat. she never listens to me or even her and her daugther is always talking back. my girlfreind always claims that i'm picking on her an what not and that "kids will be kids." I have no kids and have never been married nor will i plan to unless all thee of us can get along. any suggesting would be helpful
2006-12-01 02:03:36 · 9 answers · asked by wmhg2004 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Id tell your gf how you feel...tell her your at a breaking point and you either need her to starts letting you be more involved if your going to be together. Id try to get to know her daughter better....daughters are complicated specially when new men arrive in there lives...take her to a movie and out for ice cream by herself and see if you can get to knwo her better goodluck to you
2006-12-01 02:07:49 · answer #1 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's best you back off...at least for now.
It's only been six months since you've moved in together. Your girlfriend is probably still uneasy about someone critiqing her parenting and someone else discipling her daughter. Plus, her daughter could have issue with you as well.
My suggestion is, if it really bothers you take her aside after the daughter is asleep. And, tell her how your feel. How chaotic the home is when she is not minding. Have her handle it from there.
In time you can become partners in parenting. But, with a situation where you are living together as boyfriend/girlfriend the commitment level is not high enough to consititute parenting of the other's children.
A father disciplines and corrects not a boyfriend.
2006-12-01 10:10:00 · answer #2 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your girlfriend how you feel and how you see her daughter and her actions.
There is only so much that you can do because the child is not yours and you have only been living together for 6 months.
If things do not get better and she refuses to hear you out then I would think about the relationship and if this is something that you will be able to deal with. This is her child and they have a relationship that you are not a part of. Her child is also an important aspect of her life. If she feels that strongly about how she disciplines and interacts with her daughter it is likely that things will not change.
2006-12-01 10:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that you feel her daughter is unruly. That you do not feel children should be allowed to mouth off and get away with it. Tell her its affecting your relationship with her and you want to work out a discipline method to work on it. If she is unwilling to work on it with you then maybe you should move on with your life.
You want a family where your thoughts and efforts are considered not thrown into the closet. You can find a woman and have children with her. You will be able to participate in the childs upbringing and teach him/her right from wrong.
Good Luck
2006-12-01 10:19:36 · answer #4 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, experts say that a new mate should not be even introduced to a child until the relationship is serious. You moved in way too soon and your logic of not getting married until all 3 of you can get along does not make sense. Why are you living there then?
2006-12-01 10:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
WALK AWAY. don't marry this person. This will only get worse. Their is nothing you can do, even if you get married, to make your girlfriend a better parent. And it's not you place to try and discipline the child.
2006-12-02 04:43:23 · answer #6 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run!
Imagine what you will be dealing with when this child is twelve, fourteen, sixteen, etc.
If she doesn't care enough about her own daughter to teach her discipline or morals then she isn't the type of woman you should be marrying.
2006-12-01 10:41:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's doubtful your girlfriend is going to change the way she disciplines (Or FAILS to discipline) her daughter. She's putting the daughter before your needs. You either have to learn to live with a bratty child (Welcome to hell) or leave. Best of luck to you!
2006-12-01 10:13:04 · answer #8 · answered by AzOasis8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop picking on her! she is only 8? remember when u were 8? you probably was worst
2006-12-01 10:28:27 · answer #9 · answered by Karina 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋