My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years and planned to get engaged by the end of the year. We started looking at rings in September but had to put things on hold because of unforeseen circumstances including a death in my family. Things have settled down again and we were going to go back to the jeweler after Thanksgiving. Over the holiday weekend my best friend's boyfriend proposed. My boyfriend and I are very close to her and her family. Do I have to wait to get engaged now?
2006-12-01 01:59:43 · 22 answers · asked by salbk63 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, not at all! Actually, how cool for you and your friend - you can share all the aspects of planning your weddings together now....just make sure to make them a few months apart so that they're not back to back weekends or something.
2006-12-01 02:02:27 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if you're coming at this from the right direction. You're thinking very short-term when you ask how long you should wait to get engaged. But, the ultimate goal should then to be married, which is a long-term goal. So, look into the distance, and what do you see for your future? Is this the man for you? Will you ultimately be married to him, whether it happens in one year or three years? Then, what's it matter? For now all you have to worry about is making sure you're both on the same page. Marriage will come when you are both ready.
2016-05-23 07:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him "suprise" you. This way, it was his initiative and she can't be mad about it.
It really doesn't matter though, just consider when you'd like to have your wedding; if you'd want her to be the maid-of-honor and vice versa. If you share a lot of the same friends it may make a difference when you get married.
Also, it depends on the terms of the other relationship. If it was a suprise to her it shouldn't be a problem.
You and your guy have been talking about it for a while so if she knew this ahead of time and got engaged, then why should it be a problem.
Do what makes you happy and make sure your friend knows it's not a competition. Don't start your marriages off in the wrong foot and make sure you communicate with her that you want to respect her and her decisions.
If it feels right, then it probably is time to do it.
2006-12-01 02:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by nblindstar 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am very sorry for the death in your family. Unforseen circumstances come up all the time and you definitely aren't the last couple who will have to deal with such things. That being said, I'm sure your best friend understands that you have been through some hardships this year...I'm sure that her and her fiance will be thrilled that you are also engaged and that the two of you can help each other with planning and such. Don't put off your happiness...just be happy together!
2006-12-01 02:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is differnt, well you can't live your life according to others but if its preventable maybe you should wait a couple of months, whats a few months anyway right. I think that the situation is difficult. I got engaged last May and my brother proposed to his GF in Sept, so that was 4 months and that didn't bother me, now what bothered me is when he set the date for a week after mine. As long as you guys seperate your wedding dates I think being engaged at the same time is perfectly fine.
2006-12-01 04:09:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, your really a good friend. I am having the opposite problem where one of my bridesmaids is pushing to get engaged because I am engaged!! I think engagement is no big deal but just don't plan your wedding to close together- it's financially hard on both of you and if you have any mutual friends who would be in both weddings.
2006-12-01 02:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! Go ahead and do it! Just be careful when it comes to picking a date....in that aspect you need to be respectful to her if she sets her date first. If they haven't set a date by the time the time comes for you, it is fair game. You should just talk to them about it....if you guys are that close, they knew you guys were planning on getting engaged anyways and they went ahead with it too... Just be open about things with them so you know what you can and cannot do...
2006-12-01 02:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go for it, if you don't care what people have to say, but if you do then hold off, and take your friend's experience and learn from it all u need to know for your wedding. When two people love each other a ring doesn't say it all you guys can wait to announce it to the world and hey when you do decide to announce it you'll know what your doing as far as planning goes, and you'll have your time to boast as your friend has now.
2006-12-01 03:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by be55tlloka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Do your thing. Just try to make sure the two of your don't pick the same wedding date or have them too close together. If the two of your are best friends, and your families are close, chances are you share a big group of friends. Think about them as well. I went to two weddings two weeks apart. It was a little rough financially (presents) and time consuming.
2006-12-01 02:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't need to wait. Your friend would be so excited to know you are getting married as well. You could spend time together while planning the weddings plus the shopping trips would be so much fun.
Good Luck and congrats
2006-12-01 02:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by Sally V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live your own life! Get engaged when your BF asks, and set a date you both want!
2006-12-01 04:06:52 · answer #11 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋