okay this guy i've been seeing for a little while he has four kids and has been married and divorced twice...but he tells me stuff like i dont want anymore kids, i probably wont live with another woman again, and i'll never get married again...so i'm wondering if he is just scared to get involved or is he not interested in me...i know he likes me alot he is always telling me this..i'm just wondering where i would fit in in his life if i'm not planning on marring him or having our own kids or living together...so should i just wait and give it some time or what?
2006-12-01 01:20:47 · 23 answers · asked by ali 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the only thing about the kids marriage living thing is i think he really means it about the kids but not the marriage or living together
2006-12-01 01:25:29 · update #1
we both enjoy each others company and it doesnt have to be sexual...in fact most of the time we just hang out with his family and shoot the ****...but i like to just hang out as well as sex...i think that if i give him some time he might come around
2006-12-01 01:40:17 · update #2
He sounds jaded..
Or he may not have trust in marriage at this point. With fours kids he truly may just not want anymore. Depending on how serious your relationship is you need to find out. If your serious is not that serious but your wanting it to be then its on you to ask him. When I was seperated I said the exact same things the guys your seeing said. Did I meant them absolutely. Do I feel that way now? Some days! Time changes our minds.. That may be the situation with him.
2006-12-01 01:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought that this guy might be telling you the truth? He is now facing child support payments for how many years?
Nobody in his right mind should have more kids than he does.
You wonder where and how you would fit? You would be the 6th or 7th most important person in his life, if you are lucky-- maybe further down the list-- because the kids will always be more important than you, and if this guy has a brother or best bud-- well ,you know.. and don't forget his tie to the wife will always be there.
Somehow the kids will resent you along the way, because kids always wish their parents will reunite.
So, you'll be squeezed in here and there when he needs you-- and the poor guy probably is a bit needy.
Only you know if you want to give this time, but don't stop dating while you're figuring it out.
2006-12-01 01:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by ladsmrt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, i had something similar happen to me. I dated this guy for awhile and then all of a sudden he went from i love you i love you to i think you are so amazing but we shouldn't be together anymore. I was baffled and he proceeded to tell me how he was done dating and that I should be satisfied to know that I was the last girl he was ever with. Well, I'm not stupid and obviously this was just a copout and he is married again! But anyway, I think that he probably means he doesnt' want to marry you but if the right girl comes around (or if you become the right girl) then things could change. Never say never right?
2006-12-01 01:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by Melanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him more time for sure. He was just putting that info out there as protection from his fears of his past, and maybe to see your reaction as to what u want. The first year after splitting up from my x husband I said the same thing. It's been 3 years now and I know if I met the right man I would marry again, even though I swore at the time I wouldn't. Just give him time, no pressure, and once he falls in love with u I am sure his guard will come down.
2006-12-01 01:28:12 · answer #4 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have children and have never been married yourself why are you dating someone that has twice over??? Maybe your just some booty for him? Seriously these are things you probably would like to do/have some day he doesn't want the same thing, it's going no where.... he is also probably very bitter and is saying these things out of spite right now nobody really wants to be alone for the rest of their life?
2006-12-01 01:26:09 · answer #5 · answered by allaboutwhat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's pretty much telling you he's done it and been there, so unless you're satisfied with the relationship the way it is now, get out. Because it ain't changin.
What he's doing now is what he wants. If it's not enough with you, don't try to change his mind. You'll just waste your energy and end up hurt.
Move on and find someone who either wants, or is open to the same things you want out of a relationship
2006-12-01 01:26:48 · answer #6 · answered by L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHOA....... DOWN GIRL!!!!
This guy has been through two marriages and has 4 kids? What are his alimony payments like???
How old are you? do you have kids and multiple ex-husbands, if not.... why would you want to go through that?
Run like the wind.....he is VERY scared, and you should probably look for someone who is ready to commit and does not come with all that baggage.
2006-12-01 01:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
~This guy has done it twice and twice it failed on him. I'm sure he's bitter and afraid to have it happen to him again.
How long has it been since his last divorce? It's a good idea to give a year to yourself before dating again. I would be afraid of him dragging all that baggage into your relationship with him. If that happens, it's a repeat of the last two relationships that failed. Give him time.~
2006-12-01 01:29:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop pinching married womens men you tart, find a bloke who's not got a family to destroy for the sakes of your selfish feelings of lust.
He obviously just sees you as a piece of side pie so leave him alone now!!
2006-12-01 01:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by bearerofknowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think time is the best solution. I've often felt that I was fed up with men and relationships and then one inevitably comes along and wears me down. But if he is serious and you decide to stick it out with him, don't be hurt or surprised if he truly means it!
2006-12-01 01:25:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋