A secret...?

Question

My 13 and a half year old sister has been acting really weird lately... shes been crying and trying to avoid people. I know that shes keeping something from us. My mum wont do anythink. Citae wont do anythink. Ebelle wont do anythink. Her boyfriend wont and of course dad wont...
but I WANT to help her. I cant let my little sister go on like this. I dont know whats wrong!
She hasnt even been talking for the last 6 days...

PLZ HELP GUYS!!!

-Yasmin

I really do want to help her - not just get this secret out.
CRYING AND NOT TALKING FOR A WEEK ISNT NORMAL!

Rape!? what!? huh!? I know this sounds like baby-sitting but Aheule doesnt go anywhere without me, mum, dad, citae, ebelle or her boyfriend.

btw - um - i dont know about the rest of QLD - but in australia school couselours arent really a popular thing. None of the schools round here have them.

Thank you so much for answering - I found the problem - a rather terrifyiong one 2 -

btw - it WAS NOT rape thank the lord and it was NOT pregnancy - at least thats good news

Answer 1

Me, having a younger sister of my own (about the same age) understands what you mean! Right now, I think that before you ask her what's wrong, that you should make sure that you have a good, solid relationship with her, not just randomly approach her and ask what's wrong because that would throw her off, and think that you are doing that to make fun of her. I can only guess the problem, but if she isn't speaking, maybe she is guilty of something, or maybe she is starved for attention, and is trying to do something so that people will notice her. Also, at 13 years old, ughhh, hormones kick in...and that could also be part of the problem too. Just remember, approach her lightly, open, and very heatfelt. You need to tell her that she is th number 1 in your life, and you want to find a way to make the smile on her pretty face come back!

Answer 2

First dont jump to conclusions,
I dont think it is rape. First two signs that you can tell if she was are very simple. First her sleeping pattens will be very different. She wont be able to sleep at night, because she feels unsafe, and she would sleep in the day when people are home. If her sleeping patterns are normal then its possible not rape. Second the type of clothes that she wears if all of a sudden she wears really baggy clothes and when she is around people she distances herself from everyone then that is a sign something may of happend. These two signs maybe a cause of concern.
Although if her sleeping patterns are normal, and her appearence has not changed, then I would say that she does need you because you do seem to be the only one that notices her changes. Many other things could cause these changes, first her chemistry puberty, or events at school. If she is crying then something is bothering her emotionally, it could be friends from school. If she distances herself away from people then she might feel as though its her own problem and she needs to find a solution to this herself, at 13.5 years kids try to think they are old enough to fix their own problems, although she is young and she does need you..... be patient, and be cool, thats all 13 year olds think about, what is cool, what is not... if your cool she will let you into her world. Be honest. Listen to her. Dont give advice untill she says what she thinks she she should do, she has spent more time thinking about it than you at this moment. She probably has a good solution by now to what was bothering her.

Answer 3

if she doesnt go anywhere alone then she cant have got raped, but shes 13 and a little girl, so maybe she is getting bullied at school, girls can be very nasty!! they may be putting her down so much that she feels awful and is avoiding everyone!!

Has she been threatened?
Has she done something naughty and trying to hide it?
Has she started her period (or is she still too young, im not sure)?
She may have been sexually abused, so tread carefully on that one, but make sure you halp her!!
Is she doing it for attention?

I have a little sister and when she was younger, i remember she was a right little missy, and when she got stroppy i just tried to make her laugh, and we did things together that strengthened our bond, which made her feel closer to me, and then easier for us to talk about her problem!! Try this...as sisters your bond is very special, its something that you wont have with anyone else, not even your parents. My sister is my best friend, and all these years later, we are just as close, if not closer, and the only way we got this way was by forming a team together because then we felt as if we could say or do anything when we were together!!

so its time for you two to bond, and she will soon open up to you!! some junk food and a movie sounds the best idea to me, or a sleepover in each others rooms where you can paint your nails and do your hair and talk about anything and everything!!

good luck sweety, and it wil be fine!!

Answer 4

to be blunt it sounds like a rape case. comfort her and let her know it is ok to tell. Nothing is going to happen and she did nothing wrong if this is the case but she's only hurting herself in the long run if she doesn't speak and get it out in the open. Also, if this is the case, talking about it will make her feel better even though something like that is something no human should ever go through. Best wishes and good luck.

Answer 5

We just went through this with my granddaughter of 15. We knew something was wrong. My first thought after raising my kids was that she was doing something she shouldn't do. I felt she did something and that she was ashamed of doing and didn't feel good about herself. She has a 4.00 GPA, cheerleader, involved in every thing in school. Then she started dating boy that doesn't have a curfew.

She did the same. Crying over everything and suddenly rebellious. Her mother took her shopping to the big city 70 miles away. They had fun but on the way home she confessed and told her mother she was sexually active. Thank goodness she wasn't pregnant. It should be your mom to talk to her but if she won't then you should try. Take her for a long ride, In a car, you can't be interrupted.

Answer 6

This really concerns me. I wonder if she has been touched inapproapriately, raped or worried about being pregnant.

This is definatley not normal.

You can talk with her. Or you might visit with her school counselor. That might open her up to say what is scaring her. Then she will be able to get the help that she needs.

Your parents should be concerned. This is not normal.

Talk to the counselor in person or by phone. Or talk to another adult that she could trust, grandma, aunt, teacher, sunday school teacher. Best of luck. Your a great to be caring for your sister. Please continue to seek help for her.

Answer 7

Ask her what's wrong if she doesn't want to tell you then just provide emotional support, unconditionally. Let her know that you are available 24/7 should she need someone to talk with or just to be with.
Contact the school counsellor(s) and inform them of your concern.
Call the help line for children and tell them what you notice and what you suspect and perhaps they may help.
If you think there has been a crime contact the local police non-emergency number.
Talk to your doctor, if possible bring your sister with you, he/she should be able to help.
I hope it goes well. GL

Answer 8

What you need to do is take her somewhere. for the weekend or just to get away from everything and everyone. you need to show her a good time just being together, let her know that she can lean on you, trust you and help with any problems she has.....BUT mainly tell her that there is no problems that cant be fixed. get her trust back and be there as much. spend time loving and cherishing every second with her, you never know how big her problem is in her head and you wouldnt want her to do something silly just because you wernt there for her.

Answer 9

Rape sounds like a possibility but don't jump to conclusions yet, Tell her you are there for her and that you will keep her secret but that you can't stand seeing her like this anymore you need to know how to help even if it's just listening to her.
Tell her that whatever it is the two of you can work through it together.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

Tell your sister that you love her very much and you will be there for her no matter what. Tell your sister that she can always come to you when she needs to get something off her chest. Tell her no matter what it is she can always come to you for everything and you need to show that you can do that to. If she does something that you dont like try not to show that you are upset or she may never fully open up to you again. Show that you are on her side and that you care about her deeply. Remember sisters have each others backs