HELP!! I have a 15yr old who has ran away. She is living with bf in a drug house!?

Question

We have been to police, welfare but have got NO help. Any ideas?

She is not going to school and suffers from a medical condition which could get dangerous if she doenst look after it. She is in touch via sms but says "no way" to coming home as she hates it.
I am a fair and open mum and have no issues with my other kids. I have ran out of ideas.... H. E. L. P

The police tell me all they can do is to go and see her and if she says she is ok then they can't do any more!
Welfare tell me the same crap and as for the education department well it seems she has "slipped through their cracks"!
I have been to lawyers and they offer NO help either.

I am DESPERATE and FRIGTHENED for my child. I am at wits end. We live in Australia. Can some-one please tell me when a parent lost the right to parent their child.

The ironic thing is my husband and I are foster parents. We fell like the welfare dept are full of idiots.

By life threatening illness I meant "Epilepsy" and YES she has been seen by counsellors but refuses to go back and I'm not allowed to force her!

Answer 1

It's hard to really offer you advice, knowing so little about the terrible situation you and your family are in, but I do know that there is hope for you. You are not the only family to have gone through something like this. My family went through a very similar situation.

A lot of people have told you to go get her and drag her home. That will work for the short term, but not for the long haul. Clearly there are things that your daughter is having trouble dealing with, and at this late stage it is unlikely that just a therapist would be able to do much to help her. It is likely that you will need a more dramatic intervention.

I know that where I live there are various programs for young adults that can help get them back and school, and living a healthy life. I'm sure all communities have such programs. The most effective of these programs are boarding house style programs, where the teenager does not live at home. Instead they live in a very regimented environment for at least six months, but as much as two years. These programs really help teenagers get to the root of their emotional distress, teach them new coping mechanisms, and if they are on drugs they get them off of drugs in a safe manner.

Some of these programs can be very very expensive. Sometimes though the government can help you pay for them, and if you just can't afford it you may have to resort to outpatient programs in your local community.

But this is your daughters life.If she really is living in a drug house, then should very likely could die if someone does not intervene soon. So if you care that much about your daughter, and she really is at this life threatening stage, then I would suggest that you morgage your house if you have to, to get her into one of these longterm boarding house style programs. They are a little odd, but their techniques are the only ones that I know of that have such high sucess rates. (many other programs, such as the outpatient programs, work for a little while, but often the person reverts back to their old behavior)

One group that I know to be very effective is the Cross Creek Programs. If you call them they could probably tell you more information, and/or suggest other programs for you.

I wish you the best, and hope that you know that you are not the only one facing this difficult situation.


PS - Here is the site for the program I told you about, which has programs all over the world.

Also, If you would like to talk to me more about this, just post a message on the question, and I'll send you my email (because I have my email message private to prevent spammers and stuff)

Answer 2

I have a 4 year old, and these are things that I always think of.

First off, I dont care what anyone wants to say to me now, but I am a great mom. BUT if after all I have done for my child, she went and did someti\hing like that, I would track her down, and beat her ass up that road back into the house.

She's 15! Until she is 18 years old, you have control of what she does. Dont let her control you. And btw, I dont literally mean beat her, its a figure of speech into YOU NEED TO GAIN THE UPPER HAND.

I am only 22 years old, a young mom, but I look back at my childhood and how I used to treat my mother. Although I wasn't too bad, I did some things that I regret today, and I have realized that the better and more leaniant she was with me, the worst I treated her.

If all else fails, call the police. And get the drug lord jailed for christ sakes.

Answer 3

GO GET HER !!! Or hire a drug intervention specialist to go with you...this is your daughters life we're talking about here. If the police won't help... you'll have to do it yourself. Take your husband or a couple of male friends with you because it may be dangerous. Call the police and tell them you are going there to try to bring her home, then they may at least meet you there. If not, go anyway. Get her into counseling and rehab as quickly as possible. Save your daughter...she's only 15 and can still have a good, productive life. Maybe you should contact the b/f's family, too. All of you together may be able to work this out. I wish you the best of luck and will pray for your daughter.

Answer 4

Something isn't right. Why would she run away to begin with? Is there something that maybe effecting her that you don't know about? I think you need to look into what could be bothering and try and bring her home civily not involving the police. When I was fifteen I ran away but only for a few hours and I came back. My mother called the cops and the next day they charged me with a CHINS. Which is child in need of services. You do not want your daughter to go through all of that and be dragged through court because she will blame you for it. So be careful and do what you think is best for you and your daughter but also think about what the results are going to be like. Good Luck. God bless. I hope your daughter is safe!

Answer 5

If she wont come home on her own call the police being that she is still a minor they have to do something and if she is arrested at least she will have her medical condition taken care of you know. Have you tried calling social services. It may help and if the police don't do anything event though they have to you just have to let her go and it will be very difficult but if you keep her attached to you it will tear you apart. just love her and let her know try to see why she wont come home there may be a reason in the home maybe there is something going on that you don't quite know about.

Answer 6

Listen, you better be taking this as serious as a heartattack!!! My step-sister did this for years, by the time her family tried to react it was too late. Her life ended when she jumped from her mother's car and to the first available crack house. She died a few hours later when she took her last fatal fix.

Do whatever you have to, she will hate you now, but will thank you later. Even if you need to send her away to a juvenile facility at least she will be alive!!!!! Go get her before it is too late.

Answer 7

Call the police to the place, tell them your daughter is there, and it's a drug house. She's still underage and he may be charged for that. You just have to be cruel to save her life. She may hate you now, but that's not as important as her life and future. Let the authorities deal with her, because she's out of control now.

Answer 8

First stop lieing.. I don't believe your story one minute... because if she is 15 and you went to the police and told them the whole story they would have busted the house and brought your daughter home and as for child serves they would have done the same things with the police.... Maybe you have thought about doing this and haven't and what kinda mother are you if don't go over there and drag her sorry ass outta that house and put her some p[lace she can get help........ grow up women.

Answer 9

GO over there, AND drag her away.
Find out where this place is.

Call the FBI or the police again, they have to help! (did you tell them that it was a drug house???)(you prob did)
And shes not an adult yet SO you have control of her.

Good luck.

AND isnt there a law that you HAVE to go to school?
Couldnt you tell the School and have them get someone or the police to go drag her to school?

Answer 10

Don't give up! you've taken all the right steps, police, you shouldnt give up. Keep insisting, do investigations on your own, find out where he lives, call the cops again! why the hell won't they do anything? she's not 18, she's not in school, he's in drugs, you have every right in the world to drag her out of there. you are her mother, she isn't an adult yet, she doesnt know what she is doing. drag her out of there, she'll tell you she hates you, but she'll thank you one day for it.

*GOOD LUCK*