Ok well my husband and i both work very hard and we have 4 children. anyway we are having some financial problems but were working on it. We went to my inlaws today for Thanksgiving (i diddnt come empty handed mind you) I know that my husbands step mother has been talking to his sister about our delema. well today when we got there his sister did everything possible in her power to try and make me feel inatiquit. from my job right down to my parenting skills. she diddnt come right out and say it but just coments that were made and glares. this really confuses me because they arent very well off and she doesnt work. a year ago they were having worse troubles in fact. after a while, my daughter started acting up so i excused ourselves, appoligised, thanked my mother in law for dinner and we left.(couldnt hold my tounge any longer had to leave) was it rude of me to leave? should i have told my husband how i felt because i did?
2006-11-23 22:55:16 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would have done the same thing. No, I dont think it was rude of you to leave. You did have a valid excuse of your daughter acting up even if it wasnt the real one. Yes, you should share with your husband if you are upset. Maybe he was feeling the same things or, at the very least, it helps to vent. Good luck in the future. :)
2006-11-24 02:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though you have some insensitive and very unloving in-laws. Misery loves company! And i commend you on the way you handled things. Good for you, it took more strength and courage to ignore them then to lash out and make a fool out of yourself. That is what they wanted.And a spoken word can not ever be taken back. Everyone falls upon hard times. It is not the storm we are in but how we deal with it while we are there. You will come through this and a better person. Yes you should have discussed this with your husband, he is the only one that matters and holding it in would have caused ill feelings and eventually an argument due to the resentment. They will have their turn in the position of hard times. Trust me, God has a way of putting us right where we feel the same of those we have such pleasure in judging. God bless and Good luck ****
2006-11-24 02:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled it well. Your husband didn't realize why you all left early? I'd definitely tell him your feelings, but when you two are alone, like after the kids are all in bed. I bet your husband has an inkling what went on, and you really need to clear the air about your concerns in a calm and polite way to him.
As far as the leaving part, that was very very good and you should be proud for staying calm and taking the higher road to those who were rude.
2006-11-24 02:27:29 · answer #3 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't rude for you to leave. I would have. Yes, you should talk to your husband about it but in a productive way so you can get it off your chest.
Why do people talk negatively about others? Probably in this particular case because his sister has to make herself feel good so she puts others down.
2006-11-24 01:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let petty, self rightous people get to you. Its hard but just keep in mind that you are trying to do the right things. Their opinions really don't matter so ignore them.
You did well to leave. My mouth has got me into trouble time and again because somebody like that will irritate me and I'll get snide with them. It can go seriously downhill from there.
Talk to your husband. He married you and should be loyal to you above all else.
2006-11-23 23:06:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was ok to leave. I would have too. In fact, when situations arise during holiday gatherings, it's best to just go home, rather than stay and confront the issue. You could always confront her at a later date. It's also possible she didn't realize she was offending you. And yes you should tell your husband about it.
2006-11-24 02:38:19 · answer #6 · answered by kari w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its sad but family gathering Christmas,thanksgiving etc.often seem to bring out the absolute worst in families.Sure you should talk out how you are feeling with your man.Somehow I am sure your Mum-in-law has been through a situation just like you are going through. Properly with her in-laws.You did the right thing by her in giving your thanks and apology. Try and just put it aside and not wear it like a hair shirt. You have Christmas to face in a few weeks Hope it all works out as I'm sure it will.
2006-11-23 23:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by sistablu...Maat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were not rude, she was. Good for you for not sinking to her level. I think it would be okay for you to talk to your husband about how you feel. I think that's part of an honest marriage. Sounds like that lady has some issues. Don't take it personally - she sounds like a very unhappy person.
2006-11-24 01:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by locolady98 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was not rude. You did your best not to sorry later. Some times the family wants to know how you are just to make you feel worse. Love them more. You´ll feel better, next time come out and ask her , why are you so mean? Do you feel better doing so? She won´t be able to answer...
2006-11-24 00:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by nv 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a stay at home mom has an advantage because she is at home to raise her own kids. she can discipline and spank them as she see fit. the problem with both parents working is that the kids are raised by someone who is not allowed to spank them in many occasions. they are taught to act up to get their way. nobody has enough money...lets face it. if we did we would want more.
in your present situation i would say you acted accordingly, but i would also tell you that much work needs to be done to remedy this problem.
PERSONAL SUGGESTION
with the amount of money 4 kids in daycare would cost is it beneficial that you work. staying at home not only means no gas for the car but also means you get to raise your own kids. i personally want my wife to stay at home. she currently works but is well on the way to not be working in only a year or so! might look into changing the lifestyle to do whats best for the children.
2006-11-24 05:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by army_redneck_daddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋