She has a good group of straight friends and myself and her Dad are supporting her, my husband will not talk about it until I do.I have tried to reassure her but she is feeling rather lonely at the moment .Can anyone advise me as to what else we can do other than give her the support she needs? Thank you in advance.
2006-11-23 22:28:14 · 16 answers · asked by Catherine H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey there... this must have been a very brave decision for your daughter to have made. This must be tough for her as well as for the family... the most important thing now is staying together, showing her all the love and understanding that she needs right now. She must be feeling very vulnerable and I am certain that she would appreciate your gestures of love. Just try not to treat her differently from before, encourage her to talk and discuss things openly, make sure that she understands that you are not judging her for anything.
I know this cant be too comfortable for you as parents but please try to be open and understanding. Even if you and your husband are not comfortable about approaching your daughter, it is essential that you do so at the earliest.
We all have our prejudices and biases, and often someone close chooses a path that deviates from the norm, we grow uncomfortable and are not sure of how to accomodate the change.
Time and love and patience are great healers - a sympathetic ear and a warm reassuring hug are the most precious gifts and just being there when your child needs you most is the best support that you can give your child.
Good luck and god bless.
2006-11-23 22:40:46 · answer #1 · answered by KayDee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At the moment all your daughter sees is that she is "abnormal" compared to other people her age, who are, probably all talking about pulling guys and who they have slept with etc.
In my opinion she needs a form of counselling, she needs to talk to someone who is not in her life, talking to a stranger often helps. There are some free and confidential helplines she could call, or she could get in touch with a counsellor through her doctor.
Your daughter, understandibly, probably doesn't want to talk to you or her friends at the moment, so it is important you just make it clear to her whatever happens, you will be there for her every step of the way. Maybe you could write her a letter, explaining you know she doesn't want to talk about it, but you are always there for her when she does, she is your daughter and you love her no matter what, it would mean a lot to her.
Maybe you and her could go shopping and for lunch somewhere and not mention "it", maybe treat her to a couple of new tops or trousers or whatever.
She needs to understand that she is not the only lesbian in the world, and there are other people feeling just as lonely as she does now, maybe you could even suggest these chat rooms or explain there are loads of people on the internet willing to give her advice like this.
Alternatively, you may want to show her you posted this to prove how much you care.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure there are plenty of people that would back both you and your daughter up. And another brief thing, your husband could do with letting her know he cares too. Yes, it may be embarassing for them both, but maybe if he just sent her a brief text message "Whatever happens sweetheart, I love you and am here".
Good luck and god bless to you and your daughter, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
2006-11-23 22:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing else you can do besides love and support her.
You are doing exactly what you should, and are a great mom for doing it. She will stop feeling alienated in her own life soon enough. Unfortunately, unless you have been through what she is going through in coming out, you won't be able to really comfort her as an insider. There are plenty of gay people who have come out that can help her with her feelings, if she decides she needs it. You could suggest joining a group, but do not harp on it, just suggest it and keep on being a good mom.
HTH
2006-11-23 22:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing the best. That is giving her SUPPORT. You don't say how old she is. BUT if she is still under 18 she may very well need a little more advice as she might get some kids at school who will mess with her. But if she is over 18 (out of school) you need to do much more. Good Luck. I iwsh her nothing but the best.
2006-11-23 22:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Treat her no differently, as if nothing has happened as nothing really has. You already had your suspicions and she is the same person she always was...of course, show her love and support. Maybe if you see her looking sad, take her aside and tell her, "Nothing's changed. We had a feeling you might be gay for quite some time. You're still the same daughter we've always loved and we are so proud of you for being proud to be who you are." Best of luck to you all.
2006-11-23 22:36:14 · answer #5 · answered by Little One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
never been in your situation but i should imagine that you should just continue doing what you're doing, i'm sure it would have taken alot of courage to come out to her parents and it's equally nice to her that you are being so supportive.
Hugs and kisses and the words 'love you' means an awful lot..... she's no different now to before.
good luck
2006-11-23 22:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All she needs is your support after all its your daughter, just support her in everything she does, everything else will just fall into place and good luck to you and your daughter.
2006-11-23 22:32:34 · answer #7 · answered by GLYN D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is let her know that she is loved unconditionally and you will always be there for her no matter what happens and if ever she needs someone to talk to, your there.
Good luck x
2006-11-23 22:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you love her. Let her know you are there if she needs you and wants to talk to you.
2006-11-23 22:31:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that whatever she decides in life that you will always be proud of here, that's the truth no?
2006-11-23 22:31:47 · answer #10 · answered by Kemodo 344™ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋