My friends son has just been caught burgling the neighbours house. He doesn't often go to school. Mostly his parents keep him home because he's threatening to beat someone up. He stays out late most nights and they have no idea where he is.
He's admitted smoking cannabis and has been cautioned by the police for stealing from shops - they couldn't prove it was him.
His step-dad is threatening to put him in care but he says that if they do, he will tell them anything he can to get his little sister put in care as well.
He's never got on with his step-dad, and since his sister was born (5 years ago) his parents have definitely favoured her over him. His granddad died 3 years ago as well and I think that's affected him badly.
He used to be such a nice lad and it's heartbreaking to see what's happening to him.
My friend is at her wits end and keeps asking me for advice. I have no idea what to tell her.
What can she do to get him back on the straight and narrow?
He's only 13.
2006-11-23 22:26:54 · 9 answers · asked by Fifi L'amour 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Some teens do go off the rails, it might be a good idea to get the educational psychologist involved to try and find out if there is a deep rooted problem, or ask the GP to refer to a child psychologist.
It is extremely stressful having a step parent and if the parents treat the children differently it can lead to all sorts of issues that he will carry with him to adulthood.
Have you spoken to your friend regarding the favouritism, if it is noticeable to you imagine how the son feels!!
Until the issues are sorted out at home the behaviour is sure to escalate - who is more important her husband or her child?
I think the step father has more of a problem, he is the adult! The mother isn't blind she should be aware of what is going on
2006-11-23 22:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend was excatly the same his mother and step dad favoured his sister over him so he went out stealing in an attempt to get attention. Which didn't work as he got locked in his room for two years only being let out when he had to go to school. Tell your friend to pay him some more attention not to much as he will use her for it, but just complement him on little things. And encourage him and his sister and the rest of the family to go on a day out involving the pair of the kids not just one. The boy is still obviousley grieving over his grandad has he spoken to his family about this. When i lost my father I never spoken to anyone about it and all my emotion turned to hate. Maybe this is the reason
2006-11-27 22:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him down to a neighborhood that scares the locals(I mean in THAT neighborhood). Get someone from there, who has preferably been in the joint to explain to him what he's looking at if he gets locked up(the rapes, the lack of choices, the empty life to follow) and then let him walk home or give him a choice there and then: Straighten up or get out now and be ostracized by the entire family in the name of self-preservation. That's the best I can do, with the information you've given me.
2006-11-23 22:37:57 · answer #3 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy. It sounds like he has a lot of anger issues he needs to address and if left unchecked, it could get a lot worse without getting better. If the problem is more lack of structure, military school. But he is awfully young which tends to make me think if he had an outlet for his emotions, it might make a huge difference.
2006-11-23 22:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by 32nkikin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had similar problems with a daughter , I would definitely try to get a child psychologist involved , see the doctor to arrange it , dont go to social services unless you really have to , they can do some good in these areas but also do alot of harm if your local social services team are as bad as ours , set of muppets they are
2006-11-23 22:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by ec_sincity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a fortunate mom you're to have such being concerned and in charge women. you ought to somewhat treasure them. i might think of that such daughters ought to be rewarded with a definite lunch or dinner out as quickly as a month to savour time remote from the homestead and each and all the extra household projects. each and every person desires a breather from their popular exercises. and that i can not think of of a extra useful thank you to have one, taking area in a definite meal inclusive of your toddlers, which you probably did no longer ought to make or freshen up. and additionally you could purely loosen up and enjoy their organization. i'm particular you could desire to locate somebody to sit down down inclusive of your son, on your getaway of an hour or so. or maybe you could desire to place him right into a recliner, and prop up his leg and supply him the distant for the television or some magazines or books, and permit him entertain himself in case you're away that short jointly as.
2016-10-17 11:36:05 · answer #6 · answered by benner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get your friend to speak to social services, they wont take him in to care but maybe they can help him with therapy sessions. he feels over shadowed by his step sister, which is why he is commiting these crimes to get attention. It is also down to his mother to make sure that her children are treated fairly, how can you favor one child over another? thats what she needs to think about.
If this situation isnt dealt with now your friend will have a harder time as he gets older,, and the way things are going hes on a road to prison.............
2006-11-24 00:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by life_vamp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes enabling him and he needs a shock he is 13 and she is the parent she needs to get a grip cos he's takin advantage
2006-11-27 22:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by jaydyne f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs to be locked away .... before someone catches him during a burglary and shoots him .... lock him up for his own good ....
What's with kids today ... they get more freedom than they know what to do with and just cause mischief and terrorise people
2006-11-23 22:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋