how can i stop feeling like this?

Question

My boyfriend left me a week ago for no apparent reason. He just came to my house hugged and kissed me and said he loved me but he couldnt be with me anymore.
I am so devstated as he was the first person i have evr loved.
i feel so down and worthless and sometimes feel like i dont want to be here no more as my life is not worth living. I am so alone.
How can i stopp feeling like this?????/

Answer 1

Easy im a guy and my first love did the same thing to me (dont know how old you are but im 20) and all I did was have nights out with the boys talked it all over with my best girl mate and she was ace about it all and some of the guys who Ive know a bit longer than the rest so I feel I can trust them more and in the end nights out with the boys, some harmless flirting and complimenting other women to make them feel nice. I also played more sports and worked a bit more just to stop myself brooding

and oh yeah dont talk to him again he has made you feel like crap dont give him the satisfaction of feeling you are under his thumb because you maybe want to be mates

walk away give yourself time

you will (a part of you will always love him) as he was your first love but in time you will just some days smile to yourself about him when something triggers your memory but dont go into too much thought as to why it ended

this is what I did and although Id be lying if I said she wasnt special in the end when we finished she couldnt be honest with me like your boyfriend seemingly couldnt as he hasnt give you a solid reason he is hiding something

walk away keep busy and love will find its way into your heart once more

good luck girl :)

Answer 2

U need yr mates or mom around u now. Yr life is worth living and u have so many more happy times 2 look forward 2. If it helps u cud give him a call just 2 say that u deserve sum kind of explanation just 2 help u make sense of it and move on. Try not 2 cry and sound needy, b strong and at least u will have an answer. If he won't talk 2 u then just give yrself sum time 2 b upset and get over him with the full support of your mates. You will have yr crying days and then sum better days and eventually the crying days get less and then all of a sudden you will realise one day wat a jerk he was. You r worth more than that and u can do so much better take care X

Answer 3

Perhaps your boyfriend got in the protected victim program and he is a government witness to a criminal case. You are blessed to have had such an honest boyfriend, he could have used you but he realized you and him were different. At least he was honest and did not mess behind your back. ..The best way to stop feeling like this is to allow yourself sometime to grief. To some it is a day or a 1 week. Then analyze everything and then you have to allow your heart to fall in love again. Thats the secret is to allow yourself to fall in love again and to love again that will slowly take the grief away. It gets easier with time. Try to occupy yourself doing other things and avoid being by yourself for too long. Hang out with friends, keep your mind occupied, by listening to music or doing things. Erase his phone number and if he suddenly comes back. Tell him, sorry it was over when you broke us up, cause if you allow it to happen again he will do it again, break your heart. Oh ...yes... you can cry it helps.

Answer 4

Hey

You haven't mentioned how old you are or how long you were with your boyfriend...

Anyway, i think there are two possible ways you can go about this. Firstly, you could just busy yourself with other things and go out with friends... and try and "find yourself" again minus him.. This will take some time... but it will be beneficial in your own confidence..

The other thing that might be important to look at is trying to find out why he did this. Was there any indication that he was going to do this? Only after you know the reasons for his actions, will you be able to find closure... and this will lead to a better form of "moving on"....

It's now up to you what you do.... but it will take time and courage... All the best xxxx

Answer 5

Well, ending a relationship is hard exspecially when its the first person you love. The first thing I would do is find out why, but the best way to think about it is that is was his fault and problem. He may have been the first person you loved, but never think that life is not worth living, there is more to life than just guys and girls. The sadness is all in your head, just constantly think about everything you do have and how happy you were before you met him. What used to make you happy? Go along with it, or talk with your family and friends, talking about break ups is the best cure, exspecially when their older and they know what their talking about. Just say the saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and find someone else, only get to know them before, and before you go out with them, make sure it'll work.

Answer 6

Try and keep yourself busy. If he pops into your mind do some housework or something. Keep in touch with your friends and arrange a schedule for the week to make sure your not sitting about even if its just chatting on the phone.

Play it out and dont txt him, dont let him see your miserable and if you do bump into him dont let down just use small talk and try to get away. Hopefully he will let you know.

If he dosent give you an explanation than he isnt considering your feelings and your better off knowing now than 6 months down the line when it would make you feel worse. It will get better hun keep your chin up xx

Answer 7

Hello,

First of all my heart goes out to you, thats a very painful experience to have for anyone. From what you've said it doesnt sound like you did anything wrong, so please you musn't blame yourself.

There are several conclusions I could make from what you've decribed and they are 1) he didnt actually love you in the way you thought and didnt feel he could return your feelings 2) He did love you but got VERY scared of getting in deeper and panic'd, he feared committment or feared a greater level of intimacy with you (i.e. couldn't handle someone getting to close to him?). 3) He didnt love you at all but just said he did, because he thought it would be easier that way i.e. he lied. or strung you along 4) or if not a lie he couldnt resprocate your feelings for him, he couldnt love you back. He didnt feel the same way as you but he couldnt tell you or didnt know how to do it?

**If he has really gone and its clear the relationship is over, there is nothing you can do about it, and so the only approapriate response is grief!! why? because its a loss. You've lost a dear loved one and it hurst like hell right now, grief is the only thing that can happen.

Only after you have grieved for him and the relationship can you move on and start to rebuild your life and look for someone else more worthy of your precious love, your lovely feelings.

**Right now you do feel very lonely and alone and that's to be expected. Sadly, you cannot avoid these feelings, just let them out, let the tears and pain flow and a healing will definately follow.

**You might not beleive me now but this happens to most ordinary people at some point in their lives. We all fall in love for someone and get hurt, even me though it was a long time ago now. Its a rite of passage first love and first loss.

**Be very kind & be very good to your lovely self, take good care and remember. Love can and will come again to you in time.

**Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all?

Warmest wishes to you IR

Answer 8

As someone who once was where you are now - it just takes time. There is really no other cure. Just embrace it for a little while, wallow - and then get ot and be with friends, avoid talking about him endlessly and force yourself to do things. Eventually you will heal.

On the plus side, you are about to undergo the heartbreak diet and should lose about 10-20 lbs without even trying.

Answer 9

Time is the only cure for this. But as you have probably lost your appetite completely, make sure you drink plenty of water, try to eat some roughage to keep your system turning over, and take some good vitamin pills. The the gut wrenching pain will eventually pass and you will be able to concentrate on other things.
p/s....You are definitely not alone.

Answer 10

get out there and do things keep your mind occupied these things always happen for a reason so find the positive aspect of this hurt there is always positive from negative try to remember the things you did before you met going out with your friends having your bed to yourself the chance to start your life again and remember there is nothing more unattractive than a depressed woman embrace this as a life changing experience who knows whats round the corner for you the world's your oyster exciting eh!