He was the first person I met in college and I'm pretty positive he was really into me for the first two years but I only thought of him as a friend. Then we slept together...bad idea I suppose...we just ignored it. And we make-out a lot when we drink together. But I told him I was really into him and he said he didn't feel the same way. But we have been REALLY good friends for 3 and a half years now and we make-out/hook up somewhat often now. I didn't really think about it at first but now it sucks so much that he says he doesn't feel the same way. we went out tonight and we...like held hands (yeah so 6th grade I know) but he also stroked my leg up to...you know....and I just don't understand how he can be a good friend but act this way if he isn't into me. HOW can he act this way to a good friend if he isn't that into me??? I get my hopes up every time we hang out and then get them crushed. and even though I told him I have a thing for him he still calls me baby and lover-etc
2006-11-23 20:22:49 · 12 answers · asked by tulane2007 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just don't know what to do. I cry after we hang out because he's my best friend and he makes me think he is into me but I just don't know anymore. I don't want to lose him as a friend but I think I love him. I'm effing 22 years old and I still can't figure this out. WHAT DO I DO????? I can't stand this rejection anymore.
2006-11-23 20:29:11 · update #1
IBy the way I only had sex with him one time time 2 years ago and now I refuse to do it....but we make out now sometimes...so I'm not putting out really. I really don't want to lose such a good friend...but if we keep doing this...I think I'm going to be seriously emotionally damaged. I can't handle it. I definintely love him as a friend so I just don't know what to do.....by the way I'm crying right now...sweet.
2006-11-23 20:43:06 · update #2
He just wants to feel up on you if you know what im sayin. Just think to yourself "do i really want to risk my friendship?" because having a bestfriend is a special bond and its a really big risk. Maybe he's still getting to know you better. Ask him why he's touching you like that if he said that he doesn't feel the same way you do. The only way you will know is by asking. I wish you the best of luck ♥
2006-11-23 20:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2006-11-24 04:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My bestfriend and i started being friends with a kiss then decided friends only and it was an occasionally get together thing he turned round and told me he loved me and i said i love you like friends and i still do!!! Now he has nothing to with me at all i am very torn up over it its been 4yrs he still wont talk to me so just make sure what ask and if you gonna b prepared for the answer wether its the one you want or not!!
2006-11-24 05:23:00 · answer #3 · answered by Tracy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're going to have to be strong enough to do this, but tell him that you really have strong feelings for him, and the more time you spend together behind closed doors, the more you fall for him, and if he doesn't feel the same or never will, tou need to tell him that you can't see him like that anymore, or it will only keep hurting you. then, flirt with the cutest available guy at the next party in front of him, it may open his eyes up a bit and make him realize he does have deeper than friendship feelings for you!
2006-11-24 04:27:53 · answer #4 · answered by TaureanAngel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u really wanna know the truth .. he may be into u but hes not in love with you ... he just likes the whole feeling with u but he doesnt want the baggage of a relationship ... u r giving him what every guy wants ... free sex ... sorry if i m too blunt but thats the truth ... you love him thats so great ... but he s kinda taking advantage of ur thing for him ... but let me tell u 1 more thing ... the day he falls for a girl he s just going to vamoose ... thats it ... and then u ll be heart broken again ... so its now ur call ... all the best ...
sorry for being so direct again ... but i hate it when guys do it ... so ...
2006-11-24 04:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by Yash 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is this thing that you call.. friends with benefits! benefits in a way you know.....
you are in love with him but he's not, there are lots of reasons y.. one of this is because ur not his ideal girl or simply he's just using the 'friends w/ benefits' thing..
if i were you, stop doing the 'thing' w/ him.. you better find someone better than him. ok be a good friend to him but take care of yourself.
another advice is.. stay away from him, for him and for you to realize how he really feels for you..
2006-11-24 04:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by labs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's treating you like a fuckbuddy - someone who can offer him what he wants but without the relationship and emotional attachment.
I would suggest forgetting about him as a possible boyfriend and rather try go after someone else that would want to have a relationship with you
2006-11-24 04:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by orion 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may have found a match made in heaven. Many people marry their best friends and stay married for life. Being friends with someone is often the best way to know they're perfect for you. I married my best friend.
Ask him if he can consider a relationship with you. If he can't.. there is your answer.. Good luck hon!
2006-11-24 04:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by SunShineShoes 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
he either using you or he Loves you, but from what you wrote it sounds like he's using you. dodn't let him touch you until he can confess he really Loves you.
2006-11-24 04:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by catsclaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably feels the same way
2006-11-24 04:24:35 · answer #10 · answered by Rachael 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋