Here is what I think a lady is: well-bred but not a snob, she knows etiquette, she dresses with style even when on a budget, she has good values (ie will not sleep with you unless you are either very involved or married), treats other people with respect because she respects herself, healthy and well-groomed, honest, friendly, never or seldom uses foul language, she is intelligent and informed but not all-knowing. Her yes is yes, and her no is no.
A modern lady is feminine yet strong and independent. She is Audrey Hepburn and Margaret Thatcher combined. She is classy and elegant but never ostentatious or pretentious. She has high standards when selecting friends, men, clothes, and goals. She respects men but she's not going to allow them to disrespect her, so be aware!
I am trying to be a lady myself. But to all the men out there, do you still find true ladies around? Are they such a rare species?
2006-11-23 20:18:56 · 18 answers · asked by Blodeuedd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well-bred to me isn't the right pedigree- we're not horses!
A lady isn't wealthy- take note of the "even when on a budget"
I know a woman can never be perfect but we can try
Healthy means looking after her body out of respect. My great-aunt continued to be a lady by smiling, keeping her pose and friendly demeanor, while actually dying from pain due to cancer.
Why Margaret Thatcher? Some of the answerers do not know much about Thatcher, or they're frightened by those like her. I don't agree with her politics, but she was a true Iron Lady. She showed a woman can be lady-like/wife/mother, yet be a tough and shrewd politician not afraid to speak her mind.
Professor- I'm NOT British (thanks for the compliment!). By classifying someone as middle-class you make yourself guilty of that same "ethno-centrism". BTW, I'm a "younger, educated" woman myself (23 and postgrad)
Just because something is rare and not often seen, doesn't mean it is "old-fashioned". Silly to think that.
2006-11-24 00:18:17 · update #1
I think that it's very admirable of you, but like your description of a lady says, it's really more about character. Just like for a gentleman it's important to have his "yes be yes and no be no". Do I see many ladies in the original meaning of the word, like you described? No, not really, I've met a handful, but not many. To be honest though, I really don't care just how proper she is, if she has a kind heart and a good head on her shoulders, then the rest is secondary. I wouldn't think less of a girl if she can be a bit of a clutz sometimes. At the same time, I find girls that burp to be totally disguisting (where I'm from even your regular girl won't do something embarassing like that, but here in the States, it's accepted for some reason). So I think that it's nice to know the right way to behave and to carry yourself well. As long as you focus more on being a good person than being SEEN as a lady, you'll do great and be a wonderful member of our society and make yourself and some guy really happy.
2006-11-23 20:27:14 · answer #1 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I have read your question and I totally agree with you. It has been renouned through the ages that not all women are classy, well mannered and well bred, however it seems that in recent years the number of what I would call "good catches" has somewhat declined!
I don't know at what age group you were looking for a female companion, however I am 23 and I seem to be the only one in my circle of friends with moral values and a air of grace about me. Sufice to say I have a long term boyfriend whom I did not attract by sleeping with him and being clever by using foul language!
My advice to you would be to improve your social circle and try and befriend some people who have an active social life in well bred circles, i.e. golf clubs, country houses etc.
I really do hope you find the woman your looking for! She is definatley out there.. Perhaps she is reading this???
2006-11-23 20:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by SARA H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real, lady? Margaret Thatcher! Please...
Joke aside, your description is hopelessly middle-class, ethno-centric (British) and borderline offensive... I suppose this kind of attitude explains why most younger educated women strenuously oppose to being called a "lady".
"Lady" understood in the sense as a woman of refined manners exists in any age. It is a culture-specific definition as "manners" alter from culture to culture. Some of the attributes you list, however, are old-fashioned and quaint. Does she become less of a lady if she loses her health? What about her "maybe"?
2006-11-23 20:32:36 · answer #3 · answered by Professor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have everything, you know. All those qualities you described, all in one, is impossible for one person to fulfill them all. You can't be everything and many women like you try to be everything. That's why women of today are tired, worn-out, grow old quickly, become impatient, show physical illnesses that can't be explained (e.g. IBS). Just be what you are and don't worry about what image you project. I'm sure that if you are thinking about these things so seriously then you must be a lady as you do have some sort of self worth and self respect. So I say, just get on with your life and stop trying to be everything. Don't please others, just make sure you are healthy and happy in your skin. You don't want to be the combination of two exceptional women (whom, on their own, didn't have the combined qualities of the two).
2006-11-23 20:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Luvfactory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the majority of woman today have the attitude of EMA, there are very few woman as you described today, I think your definition would be nearly impossible to fully maintain in todays society, however if you feel that that is the standard you should set for yourself then well done!!
Maybe if more woman had your attitude men would become more respectfull of woman again!
I think the majority of the woman that would disagree with you or criticise you are doing so because they have far lower moral standards than you do so dont take any heed of them!
2006-11-23 20:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think most women these days are ladies, there are a small minority of ladettes and sl*uts that let the side down just the same as there is a minority of idiot lecherous blokes that let men down as a whole. Men prefer ladies, I know I certainly do, you will be noticed and respected for it and attract the decent guys not the pr*cks!!
2006-11-23 20:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by crownose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the idea of being a lady is uncommon these days. There just isn't the idea that it's a desirable goal.
I can tell you right now, that foul-mouthed women are a turn off.
2006-11-23 20:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think people are people and we should only aspire to be ourselves, however I agree with your assertion that ladies should not sleep with someone unless they are involved or married, my ex's best friend had the same philosophy as you, I didn't share her enthusiasm and she dedicated the rest of her time to breaking me and my wife up deciding that if she couldn't have me then no one could.
2006-11-23 20:36:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that a number of ladies that I have met do not act like that and are less than ladylike.
Where have all the decent ladies gone?
No offence if you are a Lady
2006-11-23 20:26:45 · answer #9 · answered by JEFF K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was reading this Q I was sure it had been written by a man.............I'm surprised to learn it is a woman asking this Q
Why are you asking if men still encounter your description of a lady? Are you still stuck in the 50's cos that's what you are describing.....Margaret Thatcher a lady, I think not!!!!
We are in the 21st century love and do not need to ask men stupid questions like this which is very patronising to women!!!!
2006-11-23 20:25:08 · answer #10 · answered by EMA 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋