What would you do??

Question

Im 18, and 6 1/2 months pregnant, i moved to south carolina a year ago, and now i really want to go back to montana, but my boyfriend doesnt want to leave the beach area.

i just dont know what i should do, maybe some advice would help

ive tried telling my boyfriend that i want to be near my mother, and that it would be very important to me for my Great-grandparents to meet there Great-Great-Grandson....does anybody else agree...

sometimes i just feel like packing it all up and leaving, but i couldnt take his child away from him, i dont want my child to never know his father, because personally ive been trying to find my father for 10 years, and still no luck...and he already said if i left, thats it, nothing


so what would you do???

first off...he has asked me to marry him and i declined...im just not ready yet!!! second i dont have the money to get back home, i was gonna try for christmas...and third im trying to get into being a fertility specialist

so please dont insult me like that!!!

just because im not ready to get married doesnt mean im not ready to have a child...although yes i will agree, im not emotionally ready, but this is my child, and i would do anything for it.

i already feel bad enough that i dropped out of school, but im trying my damndest to get my diploma, and get into college so i can provide whatever nessasary(SP) for my child, i dont want to end up a useless piece of sh.it teenage mother, i think thats wrong!!! if i felt i could not handle my child, then yes i would put my baby up for adoption, because i could not handle knowing that im ruining a life.

Answer 1

What I would do is realize that at 18, I'm still just a kid. I have no education, no job prospects to really care for myself and my child, and that a boyfriend is just that. Not a husband. A boyfriend. No real committment, he can leave whenever he wants. I would think about the life my child will probably lead and realize the very best thing I can do for my child, though it will hurt me deeply, is give the child a real home, with a mom and a dad who are stable and all grown up. Then I'd call my mother, beg for her to let me come home, leave the loser who doesn't love me enough to marry me, give the kid up for adoption and go back to figuring out who I am and what I'm going to do with my life.

Since you're you... unfortunately I'm betting that you'll stay right where you are and end up alone anyway when the BF decides he's had enough... or getting beaten when he decides to exert even more control over you than he already does. Honestly, it sounds like you tried replacing your daddy with a boyfriend, and that NEVER works. Do yourself a huge favor. Go home.

EDIT: I am not trying to insult you, I'm trying to help you take off those rose colored glasses. You're playing with a kid's life. If you're not ready to be married, you sure as shooting are not ready to be a mom. And the years of schooling required to be a fertility specialist are going to entirely get in the way of being a mom. Just fix your mistakes before you make them enormously worse.

Answer 2

I'd try to find out everything I could about my options, so I 'd be able to make a Sound Decision --rather than a guess-- about Our futures ...

Wholesome Communication
- What It Involves
- Obstacles to It
- How to Promote Wholesome Communication
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm

When ... Disagreements Arise
- Assessing the Situation
- Three Steps to Defusing an Argument
- “Pay Attention to How You Listen”
- Listening and Insight
- Aim to Resolve, Not to Win
- What You Can Do Now
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2005/6/1/article_01.htm

How Can You Make Peace With Others?
~ Wars With Words--Why Are They Hurtful?
~ The Benefits of Making Peace
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/3/1/article_01.htm

Children---What They Need From Parents :
- Into the Cold World
- What Babies Need and Want
- Providing Children What They Need
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2003/12/22/article_01.htm

A Child's Early Years---What Should Parents Do?
~ How Important is Early Child Training?
*> The Importance of Nurturing your Child <*
~ Your Role as a Parent
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/22a/article_01.htm

Giving Children the Attention They Need
- Training Without Irritating
- Give Them Your Time
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2005/2/8a/article_01.htm

The Challenge of Child Training Todayhttp://watchtower.org/library/w/2004/6/15/article_01.htm

The Problems of Children ...
- An Ongoing Search for Solutions
- Children Deserve to be Wanted and Loved
- The Solution at Last!
- Help for Young People
- The UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/12/8/article_01.htm

Why Should [A Child] Get to Know Its Grandparents?
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/4/22a/article_01.htm

Teen Pregnancy :
- Mothers Too Soon
- A Global Tragedy
- Facing the Challenges of Teen Motherhood
- Help and Protection for Young Ones
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/10/8/article_01.htm

How Can You Protect Your Children?
- What Future Do You Want for Your Children?
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1998/7/15/article_01.htm

What Makes a Good Father?
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2004/8/22/article_01.htm

How to Succeed in Marriage :
- Thinking About Marriage?
- What Is Needed for a Successful Marriage?
http://watchtower.org/library/w/1999/2/15/article_01.htm

What Kind of Education Can Make Your Life a Success?
- Benefit From the Best Education Available
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/10/15/article_01.htm

Some questions that occured to me as I prepared the above are:
Does your family know about the baby?
Have they / Would they - volunteer to help you with your responsibilities?
Do you know how many parents have ammended their dreams so that they could Personally take good care of their unplanned-for child, and are Very Glad that they did?

You're only 18. You've yet to realize that life is Full of unexpected circumstances, which oft-times require us to make Changes ...

Single-Parent Families CAN Succeed :
- Single Parent Families are on the rise
- Single Parents have Multiple Challenges
- A Lone Parent, but Not Alone
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2002/10/8/article_01.htm

Hope---Where Can You Find It? :
- Does Hope Really Make a Difference?
- Why Do We Need Hope?
- You Can Fight Pessimism
- Where Can You Find REAL Hope?
http://watchtower.org/e/20040422/article_01.htm

Prayers That ARE Heard by God
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20020908a/article_01.htm

Why Care About Spiritual Things? :
- Spirituality and Your Well-Being - A Positive Link http://watchtower.org/e/20040201/article_01.htm

I'm not suggesting any particular course of action. Merely providing the sources to what I've found to be xcellent information ... along with over 6.5 million others
http://www.jw-media.org/people/statistics.htm

If you would like answers to more questions --or would merely like to listen or observe-- this is where you can find us, and what you can expect on a visit :
http://jw-media.org/people/worship.htm

"Make sure of all things; hold fast to what is fine!"
1 Th 5:21

(Most of these URLs will likely change soon. After that, the Advanced Search at http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find the new URLs.)

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you've to go thru' such stress when you're pregnant. Instead of leaving, how about going for a visit to your mum's?

Answer 4

Do what you know is best for you and your baby.

Answer 5

***** slap him and say were moving....jk but not really