He spends mine when he's got none, then when he gets paid which is a hell of a lot more, he never even offers to give me any back or buy food ect... I am fuming can anyone sympathise with this ****? And i am 31 weeks pregnant. He lives like a king, i buy him biscuits and nice food for his tea and i have to eat crap!
2006-11-23 18:00:54 · 26 answers · asked by adams girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Myhis mother had to buy our food shopping this week, and she has already brought our babys cot, baby monitors and most of his clothes! I get about 100 every two weeks and he gets 1000, so you can understand my anger!
2006-11-23 18:12:05 · update #1
Don't be too kind, dear. Men are like children. He will grow up like a selfish child if you always do and pay every thing he wants. Let him be responsible. Explain that calmly to him that he is a father now. Don't take all of the burdens of responsibility on your shoulders.
2006-11-23 18:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Peace A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the kind of thing that can happen when a couple just get together, don't get married, don't discuss properly about finances..... and now you are pregnant too!
You buy him nice food for his tea, and you eat crap! What is wrong with you? Dont you think you deserve any better. If you eat crap so does the baby.
I suggest you sit down and tell him you want to work out the finances and chores around the home. If he does not agree to a sensible plan, considering he earns a lot more than you and you are pregnant, then i would consider leaving him.
He would HAVE to buy food if you didnt. You are letting him get away with all this behaviour, no doubt cos you have low self esteem.
Get advice and help from your mother/his mother or another older woman and start treating yourself with respect. Either he does too or you might as well end the relationship.
2006-11-23 21:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have become subservient to him. He sounds like a very controlling, domineering person. Believe me that if this continues, it will be awful. You already can see how unfair it is. It's also not right that his mother is buying things for the baby, her behaviour AND yours I'm afraid to say, are both enabling your partner to continue with his selfish behaviour. Why would someone like him bother to change when you two are letting him act as he does. I disagree with the person some comments above, and I would say you NEED to get out of this relationship as he is likely to get more selfish after the baby is born. You get £50 a week which indicates you are on benefits, so when the baby is born, assuming you are saying he does not live there, you will be on income support of £100 a week. Its virtually impossible to manage on that, with a baby, he will HAVE to help. I'm so sorry you have found yourself in this sitatuion at a time that should be lovely for you. You must confront him though and give him til the time the baby is born to change completely and open a joint bank account or contribute half his wage for household expenses. If you are nervous about this, have his mother there when you do it. IF you still feel too scared to confront him... well then you need to put him out. Better alone and with your measly £100 a week than with him with all his money yet you still are worse off.
Best of luck to you, and good luck with the birth. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-11-23 18:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by katy1pm 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear lady, You must sit down and talk this through with him, I know its a pain but you must do it or it will sour your relationship. And in this case instead of getting out of this relationship which is what I would have said, you are now going to be parents and he must be prepared to make a contribution to the household budget.
Explain to him the difficulties you are having and that in future you will not be able to bail him out when he has no money, as you now have the added drain on the money coming in for the baby.
Also stop being so generous when you do have money put it away for when your short. If he asks why you have stopped buying him things, tell him. I'm sorry but he is totally out of order and by his mum bailing him out as well it is not helping matters. When he gets paid ask him for his share of the food money before he has chance to spend it all.
Say now that the baby is on the way, how about we sit down and work out a proper budget for your money's so that you will not get into this state again. If he will not do this then I'm sorry but its either put up or push out. Sheila
2006-11-23 18:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by she shaw sea shore 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh darling, you silly girl, why on earth did you let yourself get pregnant? You must have realised before you got pregnant surely this bloke was a free loader.
He's not interested in spending his money on the home, why should he, you do.
What sort of man have you got yourself and your future child involved with?
One selfish no good b...... by the sound of it.
He's not going to change you know, and when the baby comes, he'll probably go out as much as he can, noise of the baby and all that,that's what his excuse will be anyway. If your struggling now to feed yourself, how are you going to feed your baby?Are you going to let your baby go withou ttoo?
His mum sounds as though she has bailed him out many times before.
If you have any options at all, even if it's a mum and baby refuge. Do yourself a favour and get out now, I promise you it won't get any better.
I hope my comments have not hurt you, because I truly believe this to good advice.
Good luck anyway, your going to need it I feel sure.
2006-11-23 18:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a selfish pig, sounds like. And you have let him get away with it. What will happen when the baby comes? That's right. You'll be spending all your money on the baby and he'll be off doing something else. If you don't stand up to him now and tell him that you expect his help, you'll be in a world of trouble later.
2006-11-23 18:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by blondee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is called EQUALITY. You know :- both working full time job then after work you cook, clean, iron, see to the kids while he reads his newspaper or watches TV muttering to himslef what a hard day he has had.
But why on earth do you buy nice food for him and you eat crap??? As you buy it and cook it, you should pick what you want first and give him the leftovers, or better still don't cook for him at all. Leave it up to him.
2006-11-23 18:21:29 · answer #7 · answered by London Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hun, you got a problem, unfortunately you didn't get to know him well enough before you got pregnant. It would have been easier to dump him then. Now its crunch time and you have to decide to go it alone with the baby or be a doormat for the rest of your life with him.
The answer to your question is because you have allowed it to happen from day one.
2006-11-23 18:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Daddybear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a door mat, and you are allowing this to happen. As soon as he's not getting sex any more he'll just start looking for it elsewhere. In fact I bet he's looking already.
If you think he's bad now, just wait till the baby comes along. He's an animal. I bet he ends up slapping you about- and you'll accept that, too.
2006-11-23 18:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your paying the price for getting with a jerk? This is aftermath, hes probably feeling in the clear and confident with the relationship and really pushing the boundries and you gotta reset them, make the line, but if hes really like this it doesnt sound like he gives a crap and your in a bad place.
2006-11-23 18:04:11 · answer #10 · answered by Cody B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋