I'm 24... I met this guy who is 37 about a month ago... he's so wonderful to me, my daughter and my family... I like his family and they seem to like me.... He's helped me through some rough times and is so caring and understanding... My parents respect and like him.... I love him with all my heart.... He asked me to marry him - I said Yes! How do we tell our families without freaking them out... I mean, I know it's quick and all but my heart is 200% into this. I KNOW he's the one; however, I fear rejection from the families... please help
2006-11-23 16:19:24 · 26 answers · asked by Bangin To The Beat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He is the man who has walked in my dreams for years... even before I met him, I knew him... I can't explain that fully, sorry.... I just know!
2006-11-23 16:23:44 · update #1
YOU JUST SAY...
I'm getting married!
2006-11-23 16:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by cruddypantz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are fearing the rejection from your families, then your heart is NOT 200% into this. Also, you spent 2/3 of your post on explanations that sound pretty much like you are trying to justify his actions for your own self. You are NOT ready to get married. Give it some time. If he trully wants you to be his wife, his wish will remain same even a year later. You know him only a month. And that was enough of time to help you "through some rough times"? Common now. The last thing you want to do is to feel obligated now! If you know him only a month, or even three months!, he is still a stranger. Now, as a mother, you do have an obligation for your daughter. That includes thinking twice before letting the stranger (!) to raise her. I know, as mothers, we often neglect our own happiness for our kids' sake. And we do deserve to be happy and be loved. If he loves you, he can wait, and still be with you to make his wife even years later. There is no question about that. For now though, you are allowing a stranger to become a father (!) to your child. You are very much in love, but this is the time when you have to start thinking logically and rationally. Waiting few more months won't hurt, but only will show your true commitment to each other and make your bond even stronger. He would want his future wife to be not only lovely but also rational woman, right? So here is your chance to show him that you can be one. Please, think about your child, and wait at least few more months. You cannot (!) only after a few weeks be fully assured that that man will be good to your daughter! Please, give it some time/
2006-11-23 16:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that a person "knows" something like that until they have been in a relationship together for at least a year of living together. Sorry, but even though you believe after a MONTH that he's the one - YOU MAY BE VERY WRONG ABOUT THAT. I know you have a kid and it's hard to find a loving man who'll accept your daughter, too but a month hasn't allowed you to REALLY get to know him, so you can't TRULY love him yet. Please give it more time than that before discussing marriage. I've had COLDS that have lasted longer than this. If you marry him before a year, you'll be back here telling Yahoo! how stupid you were for not taking my advice.
2006-11-23 18:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all congratulations!!! second of all didn't you say that both families are okay with you guys and that they were supportive?!?!? if the answer to that question is yes....then you have nothing to worry about!! i think you should go to the parents first!! get them together and tell them. once the have mellowed out or what not then tell the rest of the family!! because after you tell the parent and you have their blessing that i really doesn't matter what the rest of the family thinks!!! but it's all up to you now to make it work!
but on the real don't you think that you are rushing just a tad!! if he is this supportive of you then he will wait a little longer...right!! if he get all in a bunch just to wait then he's not the one for you!! i mean you are young and I am soooooo sure that you will most definitely bounce back!! but honestly think it through.....you are planning to spend the rest of your life with him!! you don't want to do something that you will regret and may conflict with your daughter!! you have to keep her in mind with what you are doin!!
****keep hanging on to him!!! sound like you got a great guy!!!
2006-11-23 16:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica Renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three weeks ago you were seeing a 20 year old that was solving all your life's problems. You are an unwed mother in a custody battle with the child's father, living with your parents and it looks like you are drawn to men of any age that want to solve all your worlds problems. May I suggest you slow down, take a breath get counseling so you can be a wife and not just a dependent.
2006-11-23 16:53:12 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are either overtaken by the infatuation stage that is present in all new relationships, or you are overtaken by the knight in shining armor feeling. you don't really know someone fully for at least a year or two. you don't know this guy at all, i think you are in love with the way he makes you feel. people who get married while still in the early honeymoon stage of the relationship are the ones who make the divorce rate skyrocket. truly loving someone is knowing them inside and out, loving them for all their faults and weaknesses as well, and that TAKES TIME. don't be stupid about it and don't be so anxious. if this man is truly the one, than you should be smart and not rush into anything. you do have an entire lifetime.
2006-11-24 00:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Cassian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go for it. I'm sure your family will accept it. I got engaged after only dating for 5 weeks. I wasn't even his official girlfriend yet, and we've been married for 3 years this month. It's not like either one of you is a child or anything, you're old enough to make this decision. So long as you agree on the most important issues in life, I'm sure you can work it out.
It's up to you whether you'd like to have a long engagement. I got married 4 months after we were engaged, and it was incredible because we were still in that mushy gushy infatuation phase. I've inspired one of my friends to do the same thing. The best part is about a short engagement is you get to learn new things about your spouse every day.
Do what your heart tells you to. Nobody has to live with this decision but you.
2006-11-23 16:32:16 · answer #7 · answered by Chellebelle78 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How can you marry someone you just met a month ago? You haven't spend much time getting to know this person. I'm not saying "NO", what I'm saying is that you are just 24 years old, and he has lived a lot longer than you. Get to know each other first. Maybe Mr. Wonderful isn't really all that terrific, and maybe he is. I would give it more time. Couldn't hurt!
2006-11-23 17:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow, taking things in turbo speed are ya?? Make sure you think this through without any one trying to sway you one way or the other...I have been through this before and my experience was not good, but it could be for you who knows just be careful and make decisions that you want, not what anyone else wants! Do what feels right and makes you happy, and remember that this could be the beginning of a fabulous life with him...but a month is not long enough to learn a lot about someone....some behaviors dont start to pop up until later in the relationship, when he has you dependent and vulnerable.....
2006-11-23 16:21:47 · answer #9 · answered by rufnready 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really sounds like you have nothing to worry about, if hes the one go for it. maybe its best though to get engaged and wait a year or so to get married that way everyone can get used to the idea and relise that your both serious about each other. my parents met got engaged and married all within 6 weeks 34years 4 children and 2 grand children later they are still very happy. GOOD LUCK........
2006-11-23 17:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by vanessa p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, hold on a minute. You are 24 and already have a kid (#1 failed relationship I assume) Why are you in such a hurry? Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Wait awhile. You are planning to be with this man forever, a year or so wont hurt will it? I am not trying to take away from your joy regarding your new relationship, please enjoy it and savor the elation that comes with it. Dont spoil the wonderful time and feelings that come with a new love by this type of stress.
2006-11-23 16:25:34 · answer #11 · answered by amoroushotmama 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋