My daughter has been friends with this little girl "Lulu" for a year or so (they're both 9). At first I wanted to be kind to Lulu because Lulu has a hard life and I thought it would be ok for my daughter to befriend her. However, Lulu seems to take advantage of my kindness and she has rude manners. How do you lose them? How do you decide who would be a good friend for your child?
2006-11-23 15:07:06 · 13 answers · asked by Cas 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Trust your mommy instincts. If you're asking this question, then it means that your warning bells are going off and that is a good sign that it's time to act. I've found that the worst mistakes I've made as a mother happened when I questioned my internal knowledge of what was best for my child.
I had to end one of my son's friendships and he was upset at first, but after a few months time he admitted that he actually felt a lot safer now that he wasn't hanging around this child any more. Go with your gut and you're unlikely to go wrong.
2006-11-23 22:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by Tea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the opportunity here to show 'lulu' a happy functioning family with love and discipline, but you don't have the responsibility to show her how a healthy family operates. If you want to make that extra effort then I applaud you; but you have the right to refuse her contact with your child. If you choose to let her continue in this friendship, make sure you speak with your daughter regularly about what you find unsatisfactory in lulu's behaviour, and the likely consequences of those behaviours. Let your child learn from you why lulu's behaviour is not up to standard, and your daughter will learn to make better decisions than lulu is making.
2006-11-26 11:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think i would completely cut lulu out of your daughters life because your daughter could be a good influence on lulu and change her for the better;however, i would definitely limit their time together and keep them under supervision. if things seem to be getting worse you can have a talk with your daughter and tell her you don't think lulu is a good person to spend so much time with. if she argues then you'll just have to tell her that you're her mother and you know whats best for her.she's only nine, she'll get over it.
2006-11-23 15:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by Hippie Chick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your the parent. This is one of the calls you need to make for you and your child. And you are the parent. Follow your good instincts and end the relationship. Tactfully is better, but end it. I know from experience being nice won't pay in this situation. You should not put yourself in the position that a 9 year old is taking advantage of you. I know. When I was nine I wanted to own the world.
2006-11-23 19:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by David T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a perfect right to cut out kids who form toxic relationships with your kids.
At the very least, the relationship needs to be highly structured... can't come over when you're not there, she will go home when asked with no arguments, etc. "Lulu" is a child that needs love, but also needs to have boundaries enforced when it comes to your kid.
2006-11-23 15:09:59 · answer #5 · answered by geek49203 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well . . . I am not a parent but my parents did this to me. A girl who lives on my street used to be my friend and she was really rude and made me lie to my mom. I didn't like this but I didn't want to stop being her friend for fear of being rude. My mom suspected that this girl(Kendra) was not a good influence, and she decided to keep me away from her. I was(and definitly still am) very thankful for this, because she goes to my school and she is basically a slutty, stuck up, emoish girl now, and i would not have liked to turn out like that in ANY way!! You have the perfect right to protect your own child from a bad influence!
2006-11-23 19:17:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, I did that once and I'm working on it for a second time with another friend, my daughter was only 6 when her friend started teaching her bad words, everyday she would come up with a different bad word, I don't know where that little girl got them from, as if she was a dictionary or something, so, I refused seeing this girl again.
2006-11-23 17:27:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just remember that you are the parent and until you feel she can make her own decisions you are the one to decide. just sit her down and tell her that you don't want her to hang out with girl, no phone calls, overnight visits, ect. i had to do it to my 6 year old not to long ago due to this awful little boy that was constantly getting him in trouble at school and calling my house late when a normal 6 year old should have been in bed then when he would call at a descent hour he would say mean things and curse into the phone. where were his parents?
2006-11-23 16:14:56 · answer #8 · answered by princessnannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be a tough call to make.
On one hand you don't want your child picking up those bad habits but on the other hand you want them to learn how to hold their own and not give in to peer pressure.
You just have to know when to say "no more". If the child has a few bad things about them, then I'd say let it go. But if the child is just unbelieveably rude, mean, etc. then that's where I would say to cut them out.
2006-11-23 15:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can understand how you feel. At one time I had to be very honest with my daughter about one of her friends. So I sat her down and explained what sort of behavior was expected of her and her friends. She was not happy at first and stormed off and nothing more was said. But it turned out she realized herself what the girl was doing. So yes do step in.
2006-11-23 15:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by thmsnbrgll 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋