How Do I get my boyfriend to be more boyfriend-ish?

Question

how do I get my boyfriend to initiate himself
it seems like he's holding himself back
wayyyy back
I'm not going for the sexual im just 15
but how do i get him to be more
idk what the word is...boyfriendy?

Answer 1

First, you get HUGE cheers for "I'm not going for the sexual im just 15"- it seems like too few girls have the presence of mind to say that. It's awesome you know your values and stick to your guns.

Second, as for your question, that kinda depends on the disposition of your boyfriend. Does he lack confidence and self-esteem in general? Does he just seem oblivious to the things you consider to be "boyfriendyness?"

Let him know how you want him to act- depending on his personality, you could tell him directly, or drop polite but obvious hints. It's best not to play too many games, though, but you need to be careful not to make him feel uncomfortable or like he's being told what to do. Still, I would hope that he cares about you enough to be open to listening to what you want out of the realtionship and what small changes he can make in his actions to make you happy.

That's another thing- start small. Don't sit him down and say "Here's my list of 101 things a boyfriend should do." Just give a couple simple suggestions here and there, some general (I'd like to let you make the descisions sometimes), some specific (It would be nice if you gave me flowers once in a while.)
Not only does it prevent overwhelming him with seeminly countless impossible tasks, if he really doesn't have confidence, you're giving him some very simple and straightforward things he can do without too much fear of botching them up. Boys are really fragile and uncertain of themselves at 15, and they can be terrified of making mistakes with a girl, especially if it is the boy who initiates that mistake. His philosophy right now might very well be, "'Tis better to do nothing and be thought a loser, than to do something and remove all doubt!"

Whenever he TRIES to be boyfriendly- even if he sucks at it- be very supportive and encourage his efforts. Whenever he does something like calling you or taking initiative, respond with sincere happiness, appreciation, and praise. (Also use your judgment- sometimes it's better to just let things continue to run smoothly than it is to overdo it with praise. Like, if he says "Would you like to go to the movies tonight," don't say "good job taking initiative"- just happily say "Sure, that'd be great!" and make sure the evening goes well.)

Good luck!

Answer 2

You can't because he is probably the type that is not romantic and touchy touchy. If he is like that dont force him to be something he is not it will only make him hate you. On the other hand try talking to him to see how he feels about you wanting him to be more boyfriendish. He may think that you need space. So find out were he is comeing from first instead of trying to change him.

Answer 3

we all have to learn how to be the things we are in adulthood, he is learning, and perhaps you need to share these thoughts with him.

failing that, starting looking at other boys, that should get the ball rolling.

Answer 4

hes young just give him time.

Answer 5

beat him with a stick