A 9-year old boy judges people by the cost of their clothes - how to act?.?

Question

And sees everything through a mirror of money. It's not my kid, but I spend enough time with him, his parents are my close frineds and I'm like his older sister. I want to help until it's not too late! He does not respect people just because they are kind to him. Usual manner of speaking "guess how much my new tv cost", "know how much money I saved?" etc. I love him much but sometimes feel hurt by his remarks "your pullover is old-fashioned and worn-out"... I know his parents are a bit the same and it's their influence but I can't change adults! How should I react?

Answer 1

I'd say accept the child's values - they will change in time - but don't mimic them or agree with him. If you and the child are alone when he says something like that you can be kind and tell him that such remarks can hurt people's feelings.

I was serving in the Air Force in the 60's and in those days my wages were $78 a month! I didn't own a suit so often attended church in casual clothes. One day I decided to wear my "Dress Blues" to meeting. One of the ladies, being kindly and obviously wishing to compliment me, said, "I think young men look SO nice when they wear a suit" - I replied, "Yes, I'm sure they do, when they own one." Her mouth fell open and she stuttered and stammered a bit, and then her eyes lit up with understanding and she seemed to suddenly realise that the whole world was not as wealthy as she was.

Tell him the story of Howard Hughes and his last will! How he looked like a bedraggled old bum - possibly a drunk - and was befriended by a passing motorist - who later found himself heir to a vast fortune. (Yeah, it took YEARS to confirm the story was TRUE! But it DID happen.) Or tell him about "Willie the Waver" - Everybody thought Willie was a nut-cake. He was either barefoot or in sandles - his clothes were filthy looking rags. He looked as though he never shaved or got his hair cut or took a bath. He used to stand in the center of a round-a-bout in a quaint little artistic beach town in California (circa 1955). As the cars would drive around him and continue on his way, he'd flash a toothless grin and wave - he waved at everybody - cops, tourists, people on bicycles, people on foot, rich and poor alike. When he died they found his cave down by the beach contained stocks and bonds worth a vast fortune. You cannot tell by apperances.

Finally, unless his parents are seriously anti-Christ, tell him his poem:

Michalel's Beggar

A beggar came down our street.
He looked so tired, and worn.
He had wild curls on his head,
And both his shoes were torn.

"Isn't it strange!" said Dickey.
And "Isn't it strange!" said John,
"He has no stockings on!"

"Than's no beggar!" said Michael.
"I have him in a book."
"Here he is, hung on a cross!
Here's his picture, Look!"

Answer 2

There isn't anything you can do to change him, it's not your child, so it's not your place. It is sad that the parents have taught him to be so materialistic and it will affect him in a bad way later in life. I don't understand why you are hurt by a 9 yr olds remarks though. He is just a kid, does it really matter what he thinks?! If he makes a comment about something you are wearing, say... yes it's old, yes it's worn out, but it's comfy and I like it. Maybe you could be a positive influence on him by showing him that you don't have to have it all to be happy.

Answer 3

If the boy is making little comments to you then you certainly have the right to make some back. As long as they're character building comments. If eh says your pullover is old-fashioned and worn tell him that his clothes will be too in a couple of years but you'll both still be awesome people and that's all that matters. If he brags about how much something costs tell him that material items cost but love is free and so are smiles. If he asks you how much money you have saved up tell him that it's none of his business and money doesn't matter. You need to do this for him. If his parents find cause to get upset with you then explain to them that you are simply trying to relay to their son that money isn't as important as relationships, and he's about to ruin yours if he doesn't learn that. Good luck and God bless you, I would have blown my top already.

Answer 4

This child is a very materialist person and his parents are probably somewhat the same. Most kids are so judgmental today of what other kids wear. If a kid is not wearing a name brand of something, it is just junk in their eyes. Tell your children that there are a more important things in life than money. Money can buy you a lot of material things, but it can't buy you love and happiness. When he tells your children how much his sweater cost, they should just say (if his was 60.00), well I save 50.00 because mine was only $10.00. That may sound mean but my daughter got that way at one time and I finally just tired of hearing it, so I would always tell her how much I saved and now I sure have a lot more money than her because she bought best and now she is broke. Sometimes it takes that for them to realize that money is everything.

Answer 5

Take it with a grain of salt and when he says things like that- LET him know how it makes u feel. Volunteer with him one day a week for a month at a soup kitchen or the Humane society and can get a front row seat on things!!! He obviously learned it from family- someone says alot of things to imply to him money is better than the precious things like love are. Good luck to u

Answer 6

next he would be killing canines with hurling sticks, drowning cats in puddles and aiming pebbles from a slingshot at ducks in a pond... i've got considered the suitable behaviour harvest from a close-by boy, elderly 13, in my area. each and every thing starts out small, in concept, minor, yet quicker quite than later your cousin is going to start exhibiting extreme, extra alarming signs and indicators of anti-social behaviour. via then, assisting him could no longer be an determination. i think of this type of behaviour is a valid reason for his kinfolk to intervene! regardless of if his father and mom are conscious of his antics or no longer is beside the factor. He desires help.

Answer 7

You can't blame the child, it is the way his parents are teaching him, the wrong values of life. Tell him the way you feel about material things in life.Seems like he is been taught that material things are more important.

Answer 8

Tell him the worn out stuff cost more. Its true. I was looking at a pair of nice worn out pair of jeans today and was shocked, lol

Answer 9

Don't let it get to you, that's all I can say. He is a little old for this kind of behavior, but one day he will get hurt for that kind of attitude. You could talk to his parents, if you want, about his attitude, and see if they can do anything about it.

Answer 10

just be nice about it and ask hi why he feels the way he does about money. then depending on his answer talk to his parents or your parents or both they could probably help.