Two individuals attended our wedding reception and caused scenes. Neither brought a gift, so I am not required to thank them for that, both got very drunk, and one of them called a mentally challenged guest (my husband's coworker!) a retard. She also made a rude comment in front of others about my best friend; the comment nearly had my friend in tears. Neither said congratulations or thank you when they left. I am genuinely not thankful for their presence at the reception, and neither is my husband.
I thanked the female guest for attending a wedding shower even though she did not bring a gift. I thanked her for her support or something like that (she is actually my sister in law).
I want to do what follows etiquette best, and what will minimize drama. Help!
2006-11-23 14:02:48 · 33 answers · asked by ? 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd still send a thank-you card. If these two individuals find out that you sent every other guest a card except them, they could cause you even more trouble in the future.
More importantly, you'll be taking the ethical high road, and who knows, maybe jar their consciences a bit -- maybe even enough to make them apologize to you for their inexcusable behavior at your wedding.
.
2006-11-23 14:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they did not bring a gift you are not required to send them a thank-you note. That is only for people that bring something. In the future..relative or not, do NOT invite them to any family gatherings, unless there is no alcohol being served. This is one MAJOR reason my husband and I did not want alcohol served at our wedding reception.
2006-11-23 17:44:58 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea is to thank everyone at the wedding.
Gift or not, if you like them or not..
I know i have gritted my teeth at a few thank you letters.
But as i was told by my mother ..
It is the proper etiquette.
To thank the guests for coming and celebrating your wedding.
So i did..
Just a plan thank you card.. with thank you .
The other guests got more of a note, like i loved what you were wearing or thank you so much for your help, or thank you so much for attending my special day..
2006-11-23 19:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by A Lady Dragon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you wouldn't want to. While you may not be compelled to send them one, technically it would be best etiquette to send one if they were guest of yours. If they were not then forget it. But if they were invited, regardless of how they acted you should send them a simple thank you for attending. Knowing you won't invite them again ever for anything! But of course you won't tell them that on the thank you card. Should it ever come up in conversation with them, then you can kindly let them know that you did not appreciate their rude behavior. In the future, when something happens like that maybe you can show them the door..
2006-11-23 16:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Joanne J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I wouldn't send a thank you note to neither one of them. First of all, they are rude for making a scenes out of someone's wedding not to mention of them are a sister in-law. Not bringing a gift to someone's wedding is just plan rude. Hello? you have to pay for them to come to come to your wedding? If anything those two should write or call you and apologized for making ruining your wedding.
2006-11-23 16:27:55 · answer #5 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to thank them for anything. I have always felt it was wrong to reward bad bahavior. Had they'd brought a gift then, yes, a thank-you would have been in order. But seeing as they didn't seem to think that was necessary at a shower (!), and they were cruel and ill-behaved, don't waste two good 39-cent stamps.
As for the reality of one of them being your sister-in-law, I'd tread lightly, for the family's sake. Dismiss the entire matter in your heart as soon as possible. Look to the future.
2006-11-23 14:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you be thanking them for? Of course you wouldn't send them a thank you note-they should be sending you an apology, begging your forgiveness. Write nothing to them, but write them off your list of invites for anytime in the future. Your best move is to follow the etiquette of not being rude--sending them nothing shows you have followed their lead.
2006-11-23 14:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should do anything in this situation. It sounds like these are the type of people who wouldn't get your sarcasm or attempt at guilt tripping if you did send a thank you card.
But, if you HAVE to send something, tell them their presence, while not appreciated by all, made your special day interesting.
2006-11-23 15:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Common courtesy is by no means common nowadays. Why should We lower Our standards just for the sake of being put out by those Whom We consider to be rude, crude, lewd, low, vulgar and socially unacceptable?
2006-11-23 14:52:02 · answer #9 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would take a different bent and write a note telling the offensive guests that you are acknowledging their presence at your reception and it is your heartfelt wish that they will review their behavior and avoid embarrassing themselves, the wedding party and guests at subsequent recepetions like they did at yours. Buffoons like this should be confronted told that their bad behavior was noted and not appreciated.
2006-11-23 14:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋