My current bf is way too quiet for me. I try to get him to talk to me but it seems he cant. I call him all the time but when we are on the phone it seems I am allways talking about things and he is just listening. He never really says much. When we are on a date or hanging out at my job he is still quiet even in person. I feel we dont have good communication b.c every time I ask him something about the relationship he either says ok or nothing at all. To me communication is key to any relationship. How do I get him to talk to me more and open up? How do I make it so we better our communication within our relationship?
I cant wait forever to get him to talk too me. Its really bothering me. I feel I cant tell him anything. I also feel like he dont care about anything I got to say b.c he allways says ok and nothing more.
Please help me!!!!!!!
2006-11-23 13:57:14 · 16 answers · asked by Lauren M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't believe in totally just giving up on anybody. What are some of the good things aboout him? Are you always just talking about you? What kind of things is he interested in? What is he passionate about? These are the questions I think need to be asked.
I have a guy friend who's sort of like that. I just asked him a few simple questions, especially the passion question, and he actually cried. He didn't tell me why he cried, and I didn't ask him to tell me. I think its important to allow a person to open up on their own time, provided that is the only problem; that they're shy about opening up.
I think you also should ask yourself a few questions: is this person worth taking the time to get to know deeply, and do I have the tools to help this person trust me to open up to me? Update us and let us know how it goes.
2006-11-23 14:12:12 · answer #1 · answered by volkgal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask "open-ended questions." Those are questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no. You must ask in a genuinely interested manner to draw shy people out of their shells. When I was growing up I was outright discouraged from speaking up. Now, I am a terrible communicator. My bf was very frustrated with me in the beginning of our relationship, but he helped me open up by being patient and persistent. He has changed my life! Your bf might love to be able to express his thoughts and feelings and easily as you do but doesn't know how. You would be giving him a huge gift if you took the time and effort to teach him.
2006-11-23 15:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hummingbird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a 22 year old unwed mother, had a child with a man you obviously did not know very long before getting pregnant. Your not even sure you want to date this quiet guy exclusively, and you think the big problem in your life is him not talking enough? I think he is just being cautious because you are bring a whole lot of baggage to this relationship with very little assets. I think you should go back to your child's father and grow up and grow old with him.
2006-11-23 14:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me and my last boyfriend, major communication issues. If he's not talking by now chances are he's not going to. My boyfriend told me it was because of his shyness. If you're a communicator and your with someone that's not chances are it's not going to get any better. My advice? find a guy that likes to talk to you about anything and everything. Keep on talking!
2006-11-23 14:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by rhythmoftheblues 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been with this guy?If it too long for him to be that quiet,i suggest that both of you be just best friend.Sometimes you can't be that someone lover,but as platonic friend,it works.No communication is not good for a relationship cos it brings you nowhere.
2006-11-23 14:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by ike mie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, you sound like you like alot of conversation. Not everyone is like that. Communication is not only about words. If he doesn't express his feelings with words, then he's probably using non-verbal communication with you. Is he passionate and considerate with his gestures towards you? Does he respect you and your ideas? Does he cuddle at night? Observe that before concluding that he doesn't have good communication skills.
2006-11-23 14:10:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to talk more or move to another guy. Some people aren't talkers. If you don't like that, it's probably not going to change and you are going to end up being unhappy.
2006-11-23 14:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he's happy and your the one with all the problems.You can't fix whats not broken.If you keep messing with it ,your going to break it.
2006-11-23 14:03:57 · answer #8 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's probably nervous, or probably you are talking about stuff that he doesn't like, he's just too kind to said so, so he is just listening....... Same here, i used to, but not any more......... Find out about him, he probably into something.........don't you feel bored when you are talking to your self? you are one tough girl =D....Hey no insult, goodluck
2006-11-23 14:05:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just talk too much, ever thought of that?
2006-11-23 13:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by pie_eyed_63 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋