This is very serious, it involves my son, so no piss take ok! My ex husband who has always had my son a when,

Question

basically my ex has our son when it suits him, it has come to a crunch because my ex's girlfriend text me and called me an uncaring mother, I rang her drunk and I should not of done, I said bad things but i apologised in a text, which i can proove. Now she is saying to both my daughters who are watresses with her that I am a slag and she is gonna go for custody along with my ex for my son. She has got both my girls sacked and is trying to be the victim in all this what do I do?

Answer 1

Shoot that ho.

Oh sorry, I ment SUE that ho.

Answer 2

She is only threatening you to hurt you. If your ex only has your son when it suits him he is not going to want him full time. I think you have just panicked over this and you need to calm down and get on with your life. If it ever got to Court for custody (which I am sure it won't) the Court is not going to award custody to your ex when he doesn't see him regularly. Courts usually award custody to the mother. I don't understand how she has got both your daughters sacked, but they are old enough to look after themselves. You ask what you can do - nothing. Don't do anything that way you will not give the girlfriend any ammunition to fire at you. Hope it works out ok for you - I am sure it will.

Answer 3

First off, this is not about you, your ex or his girlfriend. This is only about your son. You guys can diddly around with each other all you want.....you are suppose to be the adults. The one and only thing you can do is to be a good parent, no matter what. It doesn't do anyone any good to pass judgement on who the better parent is, and I just bet your son has heard more than he needs to about the relationship from both sides (whether intentional or not). Stop and think about him before you do anything.....and I do mean anything. First off, you brought him into this world. He didn't get to choose his parents, but you got to choose him. He needs to know that, every day. He needs to be made to feel safe and loved. He needs to be given every opportunity to grow up strong. And yes, you owe him that. As for the girls, they must be a bit older if they are waitresses. But how does the girlfriend have so much pull with them? Are you spending time with them? It's never ever a good thing to talk down about the dad or the gf to your kids. Trust me, they will figure it all out on their own. Just let them know you love them, that you've made some mistakes that you're not proud of, but you are going to do your best to be a mother they and you will be proud of. Put some rules in place, especially visitation. This should be a priority. Kids need structure and look to adults to give them that security. Too much drama in a child's life is not good....just let them be kids. They don't need to know about what a shithead you think their dad is, or their dad's girlfriend. In fact, they will form their own opinions after awhile of both of you (or all 3 of you). They will have more respect for the parent who maintains an even keel when things seem to be getting out of hand. Starting today, just be the kind of parent that every kid deserves. Forget about yesterday, forget about what is going on in someone else's house or what someone else is saying. Just be a good mom to the kids. That's all they ever want. And all they'll ever need. Good luck.

Answer 4

Mistake #1 getting drunk
mistake #2 calling anyone
mistake #3 giving a hoot what anyone thinks

So, now what?
Your ex didn't have your son anytime he wanted....
You let him have the kid cause it was easiest on you!!
So, now what??
Don't worry about what they are doing or are going to do.
Get you act together...If you think you are the better parent
then act like it. Do what it takes to be a good Mom.
So, now what???
Your daughters will have and have had their own opinion.
Don't worry so much. Just do what you have to do. You
should be getting the picture by now.
Don't be so easily led into an argument or fight.
Your wasting your time.
So, now what????
Hey , it's up to you now...We can only give advise.
Let the victims be victims and spend a nice day with your kid.

Not for nothing, but clean up your mouth for starters.

Answer 5

It is impossible to answer this question precisely because you have not given enough detail and even if you had it would only be one side of the story, the answer might be inaccurate and it would be irresponsible to tell you exactly what to do however, the question can be answered in general terms.

In general when you find yourself in a really difficult situation that involves personal relationships of any kind it is always the best policy in the long run to think and think again before you say anything or do anything.

It is always the best policy to make absolutely certain that everything you say and do is honest, tactful, legal, considerate and morally correct.

It is always the best policy to try very hard to see things from the other persons perspective.

These tips might not cure the problem but in the long term such conduct will help more than it will hinder and you will ultimately be thought more of by those who count.

Answer 6

My take on this is...
You already know you made a mistake calling her like this. Always email. This way you have everything in writing. To the best of your ability do this.
My ex is the same way, only when it suites him. This is not the children's fault and they should not hear the squabbling going on by adaults...try and keep your son from hearing all this...

Go back to court if this is what you feel you need to do. Otherwise it sounds like both of you had some words to say to each other...Hopefuly time will take care of this and do not call up drunk again....

Answer 7

Well first i would say she has no buisness judging you at all . if you ask me jealousy is at the bottom of all this she`s probably insecure and thinking putting you down will make her look better .She might feel that your child gives you a hold over your ex that she doesn`t have
Courts need proof of a parent being unfit to look after a child and one drunken phonecall is no proof of anything , more so as it was provoked by her. I doubt if many parents are as perfect as they like other people to think i`m a parent and i`m not perfect ,far from it ,and iv`e done far worse than anything your talking about .
See her for what she is forget her and look out for you and your son you two are the ones who you have to worry about
live life be happy

Answer 8

Firstly I would get some kind of legal help incase it does go to court. Secondly I would document everything that happens or that is said, this include where, when, whom.
Keep all the text messages that come from your ex and his girlfriend, but dont tell them this. This can be later used if they threaten you in any way.
And whatever you do, don't retailiate. You just get on with your life as if they were not there. As hard as it sounds but this means that whatever they do is off their own back and not a result of your actions.

Good luck, hope it all goes well.

Answer 9

First I have to say, as you already admitted, you made a big mistake calling her while you were drunk. I hope you were not caring for your son while you were drunk, otherwise you gave her good reason to say bad things about you.

But the part that made me really laugh was the girlfriend saying that she was gonna go for custody along with your ex. OH PLEASE!!!!! She is not the parent, and it cracks me up how girlfriends/boyfriends and even stepparents say that kind of thing, as if they have some legal rights over these kids. She can't go for custody. So don't even worry about that. Now, your ex could, and so you need to resolve this situation and do it quick. The raising of your son is between you and your ex, not for his girlfriend to get involved. Girlfriends and boyfriends come and go, and there is a huge chance that in a couple of years she won't even be around, so you need to bypass her and go straight to your ex to deal with this. Stop getting into text message wars with this woman, cause it is not any of her business. You are just going to get upset because of the trouble that she is trying to cause, so don't deal with her. You don't have to deal with her, regardless of what she thinks. If her name isn't on your divorce/custody papers, then she is nobody.

As for her talking about the situation with your daughters, she is just childish. And it shows her maturity level, by involving your other children in this matter. If you are close to your daughters, then you need to encourage them to tell this woman that they do not want to hear her talking about their mom and that she needs to stay out of the situation, as it legally isn't any of her business.

I understand how hard it can be to discuse things with an ex, but if you want to resolve this, then you need to speak to him, without this woman anywhere around. DO NOT get into name calling about this woman with him though, cause as soon as you do, he will probably tune out anything else that you have to say, and focus on the fact that you are insulting his woman.

If you cant talk to him about this, then you just need to make sure that you do not give them any ammunition to use against you. No more Drunk Dialing, and no more text messages between you and this woman. And certainly no letters, or voice mails.

Good luck

And if you are interested, I am the moderator of a group for ex wives dealing with problems with their ex's. If you want to join and get and give advice on problems like this, email or IM me.

Answer 10

She can't take custody of your children..... Unless you have charges against you now for something serious... just because you ran your mouth there is nothing they can do about that..... She is just sayin that to upset you and get you going...... The only way a man can take custody from the mother is if she abuses the children... is on drugs..... or is a sever alcoholic..... Just ignore her and go on with your life.... and if all else fails file a petition against her for slander and discrimination of character....

Answer 11

I wouldn't let her worry you, there is no way 'she' can go for custody, your son has got nothing to do with her, the only one who could, would be your ex husband and by what I can make out, he doesn't seem all that interested, if he only has your son ,when it suits him