okay ive been on and off with this guy for 5 years and this time we have been together 5 months well like 3 weeks ago we started fighting and we havent quit yet, well about 20 days ago my brothers, girlfriends brother got out of jail and we will call him J any ways, so we met and we made friends and hes really cool, this whole time i was staying with my brother because me and my boyfriend have been fighting and me and my mom too. anyways so i was staying with my brother and J was staying there too because he just got out of jail and he needed somewhere to stay, so tuesday i moved in with my mom and J went to his grandmas house and ive been calling him, hes been calling me we talk on the phone a lot and every time my boyfriend comes around we fight fight fight. well he caught me talking to J last night and he broke up with me because i said i cheated on him. what do u think? am i guilty by conversation, or is he tripping? i do like J but nothing happend. we havent even touched.
2006-11-23 12:03:10 · 14 answers · asked by ThE GreAtEsT thEr eVer wAs! JaNa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you want to be with j anyways
2006-11-23 12:05:03 · answer #1 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me it's no important whether you are a cheater or not...
Stop a minute and look at your life, you and your "boyfriend" are constantly fighting and you have taken to confiding in someone who has just recently gotten out of jail...
Take a few steps back and get to know who you are without a boyfriend or man in your life and you will be better prepared to choose someone who is good and right for you rather than make the same mistakes again..
That being said you will not be happy until you know whether you cheated or not... Cheating does not always mean having sex with another person it can be emotionally cheating spending your time talking to another person rather than working on your relationship... Being emotionally distant and unavailable.. Yes emotionally you cheated..
Until you find out who you are alone you will have no chance of being who you are in a relationship...
2006-11-23 12:11:00 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically no you did not cheat, however in a mans eye it seemed that way because you were talking to someone in conversation while he was not there or aware. He may have thought that you might actually like this guy and would possibly leave him for J.
Just explain to him what is really going on and see how he reacts, if he's still being a jerk, if you like J in that way I'd say go after him.
2006-11-23 12:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by BbyGrl80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jesus said if a man looks at another woman than his wife with lust in his heart, he has already cheated (not quoted verbatim, thats the sentiment) so the truth is no one can tell you but you.
if you are off and on, how is it cheating? were you in a commitment of monogamy at the time? were you taking a break? also if he is that possessive and you werent commited, maybe he's not right for you.. being possessive doesnt mean someone loves you, it measn they are childish and insecure.
you cheat in your heart, it doesnt matter what your body does... so ask yourself, you're the only one that can answer.
personally i think monogomy is a foolish waste that has no basis in reality- if two people can make it work for them, thats great- but real love doesnt make people into each other's possessions.
if fellow number 1 was lead to believe by you that you two were completely exclusive and you have feelings in your heart for fellow number two, you have to be honest with yourself about it.
boyfriends and girlfriends come and go- you have to live with being you for your entire life- stay true to your heart.
2006-11-23 12:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by sleepingtao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have bad intentions, so i would say yes you are a cheater, your intentions are not just to be friends with "J" and if i understand your question i read towards the end that you told your boyfriend you were cheating on him? smart move.... I think your "boyfriend" deserves better... go out with the jail bird, and free the other guy so he can move on with his life, whats the use in leading some one one?? I am not trying to be ignorant to you, i would tell one of my friends the exact same thing!! Hope i helped!!
~CHEERS!!~
2006-11-23 12:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you cant cheat by talking to another guy. And I would be grateful for the break up this time around. If all you guys do is fight, than he isnt worth it anymore. This break up maybe a blessing in disguise, and besides that.....I dont blame you for talking to other people. Your relationship at this point sounds unstable at best. Its time to start fresh with another man.
2006-11-23 12:07:22 · answer #6 · answered by bluestar_dreamsx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating can happen in thought rather than deed. Have you persued J in hopes of furthering a romantic interest?
If anything, you have no right to make your boyfriend jealous. Either end contact with J and go back to your boyfriend or clearly tell him that you want to go back to a non-exclusive relationship with him. The humain thing is to not keep him guessing.
2006-11-23 12:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by something 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U know u want more than just talk from J.. besides brother man just came out of jail he is thirsty
2006-11-23 12:05:51 · answer #8 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uhhhh. The drama is a little much for me. What is cheating to one is not cheating to the next person so the two of you need to agree on what is and what is not cheating.
2006-11-23 12:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the real question is if u want to get back together with ur boyfriend... tachnically u werent cheating on him, but now that he broke up w' u u can do as u plz
2006-11-23 12:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lucky#11 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋