How do I help someone who is very negative to start thinking positive?

Question

What if they resist my every attempt?

I feel like having a go at them and being 'firm' (Jeremy Kyle Style) but I don't think it would work or ness be fair.

Answer 1

Method. Do it by example, not by words. You can cancel any negative thought from someone else by the way you respond. Actions speak louder than words. It is hard to argue with someone who is doing something positive. Fewer words and more positive actions. Do it by example. Be an example of what you want to see happening with this person. The negative thing is just a thought, after all, and actions usually can override thoughts. Use any action you can to cancel the negative thoughts as they arise. I know this all sounds very superficial, but people frankly get all bogged down in talking and thinking in negative ways and the only way to rock their world (?) is to bombard them with positive choices, options and actions. - C.

Answer 2

They have to have a reason to change. Are they aware of their negative thinking? Ask them to start forcing a smile on their face even when they are by themselves. Get them to talk about their dreams and goals. Can they be thankful for the good things in their life? Do they take responsibility for their own life or are their circumstances always the result of someone elses actions? We are all children of the King, created for greatness and that is the way we should behave. Their are alot of self-help books out there but they are no good unless the person wants and has a reason to change. Just don't let it rub off on you and become consumed with trying to fix them.

Answer 3

"I'm so stupid. I should never have eaten that piece of cake. I'm hopeless to lose 10 pounds."

A comment such at this one is called "negative self-talk". It doesn't sound too great and it will not help you attain your goals. Let's try replaying this sentence so it sounds better:
"I wish I hadn't eaten that piece of cake. I realize now that I'm smart enough to make better desicions. I only hate because I was stressed out and I needed something to calm me down. This mistake was just part of my learning experience to lose 10 pounds."

This kind of talk will give you more motivation and it will not make you feel bitter about your actions. You can change your self-talk with awareness and practise. Below are some examples of negative talk, joined with positive alternatives:

Focusing only on the problems: We dwell on the problem, instead of the solution. Instead: Assume that most problems have a solution, and ask "How could I make this situation better?"

Expecting the Worse: "What if I gain 20 pounds?" "What if he doesn't like me?". Expecting the worse does not incourage you to reach anything. It only promotes anxiety. Instead, ask yourself a more positive thinking outcome. "What can I do to prevent myself from gaining 20 pounds?" "How can I make a good impresssion?"

Thinking in Absolutes: We exaggerate reality with words like "always," "never,"
and "everyone". "I will never be slim--I always eat too much." Instead: Replace the exaggerationg with more accurate words. "I often eat more than I need, but I can change that."
here are some sites i found,
DEALING WITH DARK THOUGHTS AND NEGATIVE THINKINGFOR HELP REDUCING NEGATIVE THINKING AND DEPRESSING THOUGHTS. There's something about the middle of the night - the hour of the wolf - that calls forth our ...
www.nvo.com/isleepless/pagetwothoughtsofsuicide/ - 142k - Cached - Similar pages

How to Squash Negative Thought PatternsMerely thinking the negative thought should rapidly bring up the positive thought. If you’ve done this correctly, you won’t be able to help it. ...
www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-squash-negative-thought-patterns/ - 45k - Cached - Similar pages

Stop Negative Thinking / Thoughts | Hypnosis Downloads.comNegative thinking can be useful to help assess the possible pitfalls in a potential plan of action, but you need to be able to turn it on and off at will. ...
www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/self_improvement/negative-thinking.html - 23k - Cached - Similar pages
hope you find the help you need...loux

Answer 4

You should encourage them to look closely at how they view the world and get the idea across that this an active choice only they can change, but you are prepared to help them change. If they persist maybe you have to accept they enjoy being miserable, sad as it may seem some people do!

Answer 5

If they're resisting every attempt, maybe they don't want to be positive. They have to WANT to help themselves. It's quite possible that they may be fighting you just to fight you, or it may be that that's their nature and what they expect to be. If it's bothering you, let them know why it's bothering you. If you do continue to try and "cheer them up," be sure and separate their actions from who they are. It sounds like they're important to you, so be sure and let them know that. But when they complain, let them know that it makes you angry or sad or whatever feeling you're experiencing when you react to their negativity. Complaining is a behavior, let them know why you (and others!) dislike that behavior.

Answer 6

Ehm..
If are you looking for a way to change your life, you have to learn how the law of attraction works? I can tell you.. It's really amazing, i was really surprised!
To start using it you can check here http://bit.ly/1qbFeIQ
Cheers ;)

Answer 7

Give them a gift.

"Full Catastrophe Living"

BY: Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD.

$6.90 on Amazon.com


R.N. - with Masters Degree.

Answer 8

You can't. Simple. They have to want to change. It's just like an alcoholic. You're not going to make them stop wanting to drink. They have to realize their destructive behavior is not getting them where they want to go. Then when they reach out for help, you might have a chance at helping them. Otherwise, forget it.

Answer 9

Give them lots of encouragement, attention and pay them lot's of compliments, but keep it up or you'll appear false and untrustworthy...this sort of person has usually been hurt in the past and needs a bit of TLC to bring them out of their shell.

Answer 10

why is this person so negative. Get to the source of why and work from there. You can not help some one that does not want to help themselves. This person may need profesional help