My mother told me today: Goddamn the day I saw you/you were born. I'm just soooo hurt she said that. Did she mean it? Does she hate me? Do I have the right of being so upset or am I just overreacting?
2006-11-23 10:05:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not a kid I'm 19! It still hurts. My mom is one of the supposedly nice kind moms who rarely shout so for her to say that to me is a HUGE thing. I know she doesnt hate me, but I guess she doesnt love me as much as I thought.
2006-11-23 10:16:56 · update #1
What she said to you was particularly cruel. You certainly have the right to be extremely hurt, and upset.
But be realistic too. Moms are just people, they make mistakes, say things in anger, and are imperfect. I am sure she didn't mean it. If she had you would have felt it long before now.
I would have to have a talk with her. Tell her how much this hurt, and that at 19 you are open to discussing disagreements, but cruelty between loved ones is always wrong. That is if they plan to remain loved ones.
2006-11-24 02:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a single mom of three, I try not to say hurtful things to my kids, but that is impossible. Kids may not understand what is going on in our lives, and unfourtunately, we as parents, take the stress out on you sometimes. We shouldn't, but we are only human. That is no excuse though, and believe me, we regret it the second it leaves our lips. Talk to her about it when she calms down, she may be having other problems, let her know that it really hurt. Just curious though, were you the reason she was pissed off? If so, maybe next time you are arguing, you can talk, instead of yell at each other. I was a rebellious teen, and never listened to advice, but parents are just there to protect you, weather you like it or not. Take care and good luck.
2006-11-23 18:14:58 · answer #2 · answered by lilyvix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moms are people too. They have faults. If she meant it she must be dealing with some very deep and serious problems. She needs help. The way she "Feels" has nothing to do with you. Don't accept that responsibility. You are an individual. Regardless of what she or anyone says, you are here for a purpose and you are important. If she was angry, she probably didn't mean it and will feel badly after she calms down. She owes you an apology.
2006-11-23 18:19:01 · answer #3 · answered by Catie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to defend your mother. I am a mother, and I am also the daughter of a woman who walked out on my father and me when I was 9 months old. She was absolutely wrong to say this, and it's natural that you're hurt.
Sometimes people (even mothers) say the thing they know will absolutely hurt you the most, especially when they are angry and frustrated. This dirty fighting is something some people have trouble controlling. She needs to apologize to you, but I think you need to realize that she said those horrible words out of anger, not because she really means them. This is an opportunity for YOU to be the grownup in this situation, even though you shouldn't have to. Tell her you love her. Tell her you know she was angry and what she said hurt you so much. But inside, know that she loves you, too, and that you are the victim of her anger.
Good luck to you, sweetie.
2006-11-23 18:17:01 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she was mad about something else.i have been cursed like that but i knew my mom loved me.maybe something happened at her work place today. things do get out of hand for adults too.im 53 and my mom always said i would understand things better when i got older.you know she was right.its hard to pay the rent pay water and electric and then there is christmas coming. it gets quite hard when all this comes at you at once.just calm down and your mom will be ok and so will you
2006-11-23 18:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, trust me, your mom is proabbly just blowing off steam, mine is after calling me a selfish brat, a prick, a *****, after threatening to beat the crap out of me etc, I wouldn't worry too much, I'd just sit with her and ask her why she said that and tell her how you feel. And yes you do have the right to be upset.
2006-11-27 13:57:04 · answer #6 · answered by neko_kagzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom does that sometimes, don't worry, it's just when a mom is angry, she spills out words that she never means. Watch, when something bad happens to you, she'll panic. Honestly, I saw my mom do that a couple of times after all she's said to me. I still love my mom, just ignore what your mom says. It's common.
2006-11-23 18:06:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People often times say things they don't really mean when they are upset. Don't judge her on that one incident but rather the overall picture. In other words what is your relationship as a whole.
2006-11-23 18:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by Barry DaLive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mom must be having a bad day 'but for some reason we hurt the ones we love,,, when she said that awful stuff' she didn't mean it ......it hurts when someone says things like that to us.xwere only human... my 10 year old son tells me daily i hate you i hate you,, i used to cry myself to sleep 'but i know he's taking his anger at me cause someone else would smash him,,, but i still love him always and forever
2006-11-23 21:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she didn't mean it. It might have slipped off her mouth. Talk 2 her later, she might apologise or tell u why she said it. Then u can conclude after that.
2006-11-23 18:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by genipabu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋