Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered.
I replied in a psychotic tone, I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."
2006-11-23 05:44:19 · 34 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
First joke, funny.
Second joke, freakin' hilarious!
2006-11-23 05:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by Samslou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one has a beard, but will always break ice at parties, and is correct all ages...
Number two is adult humor. Different audience al together.... A joke is funny when t makes us laugh..... The person telling the joke has to play innocence ... Audiences handclapping in appreciation must not stop the show.....
2006-11-23 06:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Alma of Avalon Grailguard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not. First one has too much buildup and using the word "eldderly" you kind of lost me. Just say an "old man" as elderly makes it sound pretentious.
The other one made me smirk because I'll probably use that to torment the crusties here in Vancouver. But I did not laugh.
2006-11-23 05:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by fugutastic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
marvelous. a salesclerk knocked on the door of a house in a sparkling housing progression and a lady responded the door. He began, "Ma'am, i'm promoting the newest innovation in vacuums, that is the mind-blowing little gadget I have considered in a lengthy time period," and with that, he proceeded to dump on her new carpet a mixture of ketchup, salsa, dirt, grape juice, and so on. as she watched, horrified. He suggested, "If this vacuum would not freshen up that mess, i'll eat it!" She suggested, "do you want a fork?! we've not were given the potential on yet!"
2016-10-16 10:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heard the first one before but the second one was fresh and nice one !!! She must have ran for her life...leaving her preachings about non violance a side Ah ?! Ha Ha Ha !!!
2006-11-23 05:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Tickler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute. The first one reminds me of my grandpa...he's had selective hearing for YEARS now!
The second one is classic. I like messing with people like that for real!
2006-11-23 06:17:08 · answer #6 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first ones not 2 bad but id work on the second one but it does raise a smile
2006-11-23 05:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♫That'll be the Day♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They sound like jokes I would use to get rid of my company. I'll be using them tonight.
2006-11-23 06:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by Sanford skater 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not your best, keep trying the night is young
2006-11-23 05:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first was funny...the second was alright.
2006-11-23 05:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by ludacrusher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋