I told him to go find out that he would never be free to be with me. Was I crazy or noble ? They were engaged 25 years ago.
2006-11-23 05:41:40 · 12 answers · asked by Merrie S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's all in your opinoin but one thing I can tell you is that if she was his first love he will always feel something, just like if you ran into your first love you would feel something for him to, it's just the way things are, people never forget thier first loves and always feels something for them.
2006-11-23 05:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who knows if anything is really there between them, they might be living off the fumes of memories. The more important thing to take note of is that HE felt something is still there. HE did not take your 3 years together as important and I'm assuming that HE took you up on your offer to go find out. HE does not love you, respect you or care for your feelings. HE has got to go!!!
You were neither crazy or noble, you were logical and rational and inside your intuition is telling you the right answer.
2006-11-23 13:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by She-ra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this perspective works for you:
Biologically, and mostly in our brains, we associate lovers with a whole host of love chemicals. The cuddly feeling we still get when we've been someone awhile is mostly oxytocin. We get to a point where, like with nicotine, we don't even know it's in our system until it's missing. We're addicted to it, but don't know it.
When we first get together, that rush is, among other things, because of phenylethylalanine (I think that's the exact compound).
Anyway, it goes away over time. So, seeing the same person again can trigger that newness... but it won't last.
Explain this to him, if you like. It's the same for him no matter what he does, biologically- he WILL lose that high.
But turning his back on you means you go through oxytocin withdrawal- that is, emotional pain.
And if you get hooked on someone new in the meantime...
he's just plain done.
If he takes the chance anyway, move on.
2006-11-23 13:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...did he go?
The love I had for my first love never died. But, I finally made the decision a while back to let it go because neither one of us were able to move on productively without thinking of the other. We'd still look for each other all the time etc.
I think you were noble. You gave him the opportunity to be who and what he wants to be in this lifetime, and to answer his questions his own way. You really showed him how much you love him by doing that, and he'd be a fool not to come back to you in the end.
Good luck!
2006-11-23 13:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by sdkramer76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were neither crazy or noble.
Point of the matter is they would have gotten together with or without your blessing.
Recently, I met my first love after almost 30 years (we too were planning marriage). While it was very nice to see him again ..... ultimately there is no going back. An ex is an ex for a reason .......
Feelings were probably nothing more than nostalgia .... being mistaken for love ..... they will figure it out.
2006-11-23 13:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he goes, don't take him back. If he has been your boyfriend for three years and you have been in a loving relationship, he should have no desire to try getting back with an ex-girlfriend. I don't think you were crazy or noble, just realistic. I would start dating again if I were you.
2006-11-23 13:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's been with you for THREE YEARS. What they had ended long ago. He'd be CRAZY to give you up and go back to the other girl. It ended for a reason. If he's stupid enough to leave you now for someone he's managed to live without for years, then it's his loss - not yours.
2006-11-23 13:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they both feel that something is there then that is normal. Sometimes things can be brought back when you seen someone you haven't seen in awhile. Also if he loves you truly then the ex should be the least of your worries!!
Happy Thanksgiving!!
2006-11-23 13:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by Elle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You would never be happy wondering if he loved her and neither would he. Now, if he comes back to you, you'll know it was meant to be.
2006-11-23 13:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by honey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a little of both. You will never have the connection they have. that is how dumb first real loves are.
2006-11-23 13:47:37 · answer #10 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋