well we split up after nearly 5 years cos he cant commit apparantly and im rushing it too fast which he flung at me cos of my reaction to the photos of himself and a girl in his phone where theyre like all over each other
but its like im 21 soon and i cant not talk 2 him on my birthday, or even not have him in my life. sound well sad i know but how do you just switch off your feelings like that. and how can you string someone along for 5 years, and even now he still wants to be friends and im so tired but i feel myself caving. i dont know. anyways just a stupid question deserve all the abuse on this.
2006-11-23 05:02:34 · 10 answers · asked by DesertRose 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't switch off your feelings 'just like that', but from what you have written, I believe the best thing for you to do is not contact him and wait to see if he contacts you. If he was all over this other girl as you say, I think he needs to get her out of his system... which is not so good for you. (Sorry). As for he friends bit. Sounds to me (being a bloke), that he is trying to keep his options open or wanting both his cake and eat it. Best thing... just get rid of him... find someone who wants only you. Cliches I know but... you are still young and there are loads of other fish in the sea. You'll get one soon enough!
2006-11-23 05:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by Boring Old Fart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it's best not to try to be friends with an ex --- especially if you can't be truly objective --- in short, if you can't be honest about wanting the best for them, even if it's not you then cut them loose.
Dating someone is about finding out if you two are truly compatible - sometimes things go along great for a long time but when either person takes a deeper look at the other person they may see something there that doesn't please them.... and they step back and think about if they really want to deal with that person's flaw or flaws.
Sometimes people are too young and they don't really dig beneath the surface of the other person until later on....
I don't have friendships with my ex boyfriends --- if I see someone who I was once involved with I am polite but there's no ongoing relationship where we stay in touch by phone calls, mail or visits.... I don't see any reason for that type of thing (unless you had a child with that person).
2006-11-23 05:18:56 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no specific time frame. when you've already moved on (and i mean REALLY moved on), when you've already accepted the fact that things just didn't fall into places for the both of you, and when you are both ready to close that chapter of your lives, then probably you can find a space in your heart to be friends with the ex. Well, in my case, it took me 2 years to get over my first boyfriend. and now, it's all platonic! =)
2006-11-23 05:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Stanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who date and break-up should not be friends for numerous reasons. You should walk away and forget him as a friend. There are always "feelings" that remain. Just an opinion. It is definately something subject to debate. Good luck.
2006-11-23 05:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't bother! Put it behind you and move on! Trying to be friends doesn't work - you can easily fall into the trap of another relationship with him and get hurt. Be strong.
2006-11-23 06:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
about 15 mintues after you break up
2006-11-23 05:05:23 · answer #6 · answered by MrKnowItAll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if by now you are not friends you were not in the first place and never will be move on ,the hill is ALWAYS GREENER
2006-11-23 05:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by jerrymaya1964 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need some time alone,if he wants to be there it will happen.
but keep busy and hang-out with your friends and be happy.
2006-11-23 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe a year.
2006-11-23 05:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by 2345 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you can become friends when you feel you are ready
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2006-11-23 05:04:28 · answer #10 · answered by john doe 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋