are ....like the sounding board.......anyway, should you NOT intervene and say...."gosh, i like that person""....or is it best to just listen...and when she asks your OPINION...."Just, gosh i did not know she was like that?"....i do not have an opinion."....and just let it go....(I know what she is trying to do???? rally troops on HER SIDE)...and i do feel it is false information...something was obviously misguided!!!wHAT ELSE CAN YOU SAY...BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT WILL GET BACK TO HER WHATEVER YOU SAY.....THAT IS NON-COMMITAL!!!
2006-11-23 04:41:35 · 22 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I usually say something like: 'Every time someone comes to me and talks another person behind their back, I always wonder what you say about ME when I'm not around.'
I can't stand back-stabbers.
2006-11-23 04:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I worked in a place with eight women and it was a small room and a gossip mill....what I did and what worked very well ( i even got a reputation of being someone who doesnt talk about anyone else) was listening very shortly, smiling politely, and then turing around and ending the conversation without being rude by just starting to do something else. You can also try not saying anything and just changing the subject by talking about something else. People will gossip away, dont get involved because if you offend the gossip monger shes going to do the same thing to you. I wouldnt bring back to the other person stuff was being said about them either. I would just let it roll off my back because staying neutral is sometimes the best way to be in an office environment. More often then not when you start gossping it comes back and bites you in the butt.
2006-11-23 13:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right when they start complaining to you about so and so.....politely say; "excuse me, but I do not want to be involved in this conversation." Then move onto something that is fun or interesting. Change the subject.
This response does many things; #1 it gives you a way of saying "hey.....I don't gossip or entertain gossip" and it also demands respect for yourself and others that are being talked about.
If the person trying to gossip is offended, then....so be it. If they move along into other forums of conversation with you; they are sincerely a friend and will not try and gossip with you again in the future.
2006-11-23 12:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If its about someone that I know I tell them that I don't want to listen to it. Especially if I am friends with them. Since I want to stay friends with them and I'm not friends with the gossiper that is telling me the news. I know that they are just trying to ruin our friendship.
And when they do ask my opinion I'm not surprised that they are like that at all because I already knew that. I just think that they are using me as a sounding board. But I have been friends with them for a while and know how they are so I know what to expect and don't mind it at all!!! We know each other too well. Thru the good and thru the bad.
To really find out if they are your friends or not. Tell them you are feeling like a 3rd wheel, that is if you are. If you are those who are your friends will say that you are not a 3rd wheel. and if they are not your friends they will say that you are selfish or selfcentered or anyting along those lines. And you will know who your friends are.
2006-11-24 08:05:19 · answer #4 · answered by jrealitytv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is complaining about someone else to you, and you don't want to hear it, I usually politely say, "I'm sorry, but I'm really not comfortable with this conversation." That way, if it does get to the other person, you didn't say anything that can make you sound bad, and you are put in a position where someone can ask you what another person said.
2006-11-23 12:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Misty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What ever you say..your friend could tell everyone you agree with her or that you were the one who said such and such.
So you are stuck one way or the other.
It is best to just be a sounding board but make no comment toward another person. Even better to chance the subject.
2006-11-23 12:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by 100yroldtree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work with too many woman, and hear so much talk about things that are true and not true, it's hard to believe anything anymore. So what I do is listen and then let it go in one ear and out the other!
2006-11-23 12:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by DrPepper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, i have a 'friend" who is like that. She talks crap about this other friend of ours, but i know she does the same about me. Whatever. Its a short term friendship anyways. But i don't trash the other person. I just listen. Say nothing,.
2006-11-23 12:44:47 · answer #8 · answered by C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just nicely say "I understand you're upset and that wasn't fair/nice/etc..., but i've never noticed him/her behaving that way personally..." or something along those lines.
I also dislike people who talk behind other's backs, and I try to just brush it aside and/or not partake in it. Obviously you usually can't just say nothing at all, but as vague a response as possible is what I go for, lol. Good luck with that one!
2006-11-23 12:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by sk8rgrl02631 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I try to smooth things over if I can...try to help the person see the other person's point of view, but without being judgmental. Otherwise, just listen.
2006-11-23 12:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by bollywoodturtle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you make a comment, make it about the BEHAVIOUR they are describing, not the person. Or you could tell the person you don't want to talk about it and just change the subject.
2006-11-23 15:29:13 · answer #11 · answered by krobin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋