Raising future adults...not simply raising a child...aware of difference?

Question

Do parents have awareness that they are not simply raising a child but that the parent is also raising a future adult. While raising a child the parent teaches them how to cross street safely, groom themselfs well, be responsible with school studies etc. But do parents also have the awareness of their responsibility that they are also raising someone else's future spouse, co-worker, neighbor, parent, friend etc. Parents are not simply raising a child...their are also raising a future citizen in their community, a lover, parent, friend etc. who is going to personally interract in anothers life one day. This can also carry over to raising a child to be savy in finances, to communicate responsibly, relate well to loved ones etc. We send them out there in the world knowing how to drive and bathe...yet have little education. of relationship, financial, self value etc. awareness / knowledge. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

I agree with you 100% regarding raising the future generation. But I also believe that the majority of good parents are aware that their children will not always be children and will someday mature and live independently. We only hear of the poor parenting techniques from the media but there are lots of good parents also who are teaching their children all of the valuable life skills that you have listed also. It's the same with kids, we only hear about the ones that are in trouble. How often do you read a story about a youth doing something good? But it they are in trouble with the law... Children do live what they learn and as such if they have mature responsible parents they are a lot more likely to grow into this themselves. If they witness violence in the home then this most likely will be the route that they choose as a norm in their live. I have watched personally my three sons grow from infancy to mature men and one is a father of 2 girls himself. Like all children from all generations, they swore (as did I) that I would never do such and such like my parents. Guess what, I was wrong (as they also are guilty) and find myself doing and saying some of the same phrases that I heard. Good point you bring up and hopefully a lot of parents are also in agreement with you.

Answer 2

First and foremost, congrats to the Senator on the birth of your child. Secondly, congrats to the Future Mrs. Dave F. I would have to say that I have 3 favorite, no, make that 4 favorite temples. The first is Oakland, Ca. It is the first temple I attended as a teenager doing baptisms for the dead. Second, is the Salt Lake City Temple. Only been inside once, but have seen it numerous times. It has history and is one of only two temples that do live endowment sessions. Third is the Los Angeles Temple. It actually sits among a poor neighborhood, yet it gives the area a certain beauty. It reminds me that Heavenly Father loves all his children and that social status goes only so far as long as we are on this earth. Last and certainly not the least is the smaller version of the temples, Fresno, Ca. I and my wife were sealed for time and all eternity. I was really excited about the prospect of being able to attend sessions that now instead of traveling btw a 150-200 miles and driving 3-4 hrs., it is a 10-15 minute drive of in the vicinity of 5 short miles. All carry special place in my heart and are equal in my estimation. I hope to visit and do sessions in other temples around the country and someday, the world.

Answer 3

Yes, very well put. A great zen master once said the best way to take care of cows is to watch them. Just to watch them. He compared them to people, but do not be as quickly offended as I was! If our attention is directed toward something we really come to know that thing much better. Plus, we aren't distracted. Children need the attention of adults. In this way they can be kept from harm while experiencing their full existence. These children have true needs, not just wants, what can we offer these little ones if we are distracted by selfishness, let's stay focused people. Our children are so vital. When I was young I heard a marvelous argument by a lesbian woman who was angry that others judged her unfit to raise a child. She said some people shouldn't have unsupervised custody of a footstool let alone a child; and others could really love and nurture a child yet we judge them unfit because of sexual preference. Well said. Interesting that years later my sister and her girlfriend are raising a little girl beautifully. I was just hoping some little ones were lucky enough to have you around...The transition to adulthood is better if the parent remains undistracted, because all questions have been answered. Especially those of self worth...

Answer 4

My first actual thought is that you are not a parent.

But regardless, you are partially right. We do teach them about bathing and manners and everything else. And we do actually realize that we a raising our kids to be grown, responsible adults. Or at least, that is out intention. As they grow from birth, teaching them things come in stages. I cannot start teaching my 8 yr old about balancing his checkbook yet, now can I? That comes in time.
One thing some people tend to forget is outside influences like peer pressure or the like. We could be the Brady Bunch raising them but once they are out there interracting with other people, they could still turn out to be be Jeffery Dahmer.

Answer 5

I think you're very insightful and quite correct. I think it has to start early, within reason.

My experience is with my 5 nieces, ages 18 months to almost 7. I spend very regular time with all.

I think you have to be very very honest with children, and speak to them as you speak to adults.

They need to feel responsibility for their behavior and decisions from an early age, yet also know that Mom and Dad and Auntie and Uncle are trustworthy and will help them solve problems if needed. They need to learn how to sense who is helpful and who is a bad influence.

They need to feel confident and knowledgeable of what is right and what is wrong. They need to connect actions to consequences. This starts as early as 18 months old. The best way to start is by reading books with examples of different characters, and talk about how the characters behave and why.

This conversation continues into school relationships and becomes a comfortable source of interaction. If they see themselves as little adults early on, but know that their parents care for them deeply and unquestionably, these conversations become easier and become a good basis for future decisionmaking.

Answer 6

Yes i know that is why i am homeschooling my kids. i have seen what the kids are like and how they come out of the public school, crappy with crappy parents who do not really care.