Your 15 yo kid was doing bad and dangerous stuff and you had to give a somewhat severe punishment, thinking you were doing your best. She changed her behavior, left bad companies, and today you're proud of her, An honor student, good friends, does a lot of good things, but, unfortunately, extremely resentful. Respectful, but distant, like a stranger. Avoids her parents, avoids any activity with them, unless forced. Doesn't see her parents as loving parents, says they didn't love and forgive her when she need them most, keeps dwelling on the past. And this for months and months, suggesting t'll keep going for years, years, years.. She refuses to talk, unless forced, and them just repeats the same things. A great girl, but like an statue.
How to deal with this? Can this carry on to adulthood? Should she punished? I don't think so. Should we reward her for her good actions, despite her resentful behavior? She says her resentful behavior is her undenibale right.
2006-11-23 02:31:27 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
it will get better. express how difficult parenting is. there is no one right way to do it; every action we take in life involves some sort of gamble.
she's alive, and you're proud. I think that is important to you. sometimes the choices we are forced into are very complex.
you might just need to let go a little. kids don't need to always love their parents. we're all just people sometimes.
We are products of evolution, and our culture evolves, too. Evolution finds ad hoc, "quick and dirty" solutions to problems. The parent/child relationship is pretty artificial... it's strange that parents in many senses "own" children until they are 18. By now, in a more natural setting, a 15 year old girl would be working on starting a family. But in modern society, that is perhaps a sub-optimal schedule for our longer, more complex lives.
2006-11-23 02:39:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only control your actions, not hers.
Do what you think is right despite her piss-poor attitude.
She'll appreciate it in her 30's.
Oh, and it isn't her "right" to be resentful. Send her to the library to read the Constitution/Bill of Rights. She may be resentful, but that doesn't mean she has to be ignorant.
2006-11-23 10:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by TheSlayor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was kinda the same way at that age, Now in my mid 20's, I realized that my parents were right... Some day she will too..
2006-11-23 11:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by goin_truck_racin06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to explain what is irking hurt, why she is hurting...
...either to you or a psychologist.
It may very well just be teen angst, but you should get it checked out.
Good luck
2006-11-23 10:36:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain your side and let it be.
2006-11-23 10:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋